Ryan feels jealous as Ana flirts...
The weeks were breezing past and by the time the Panic boys had finished their tenth show they felt a little more like they belonged on that tour bus. It was their night off and after an evening in a local Italian restaurant somewhere in Seattle everyone was merry and relaxed. Again Ryan was trying not to stare at Ana as she playfully recited a story of unrequited love to them all but it seemed an impossible feat. Ryan had found his interest in her had become keener if anything over the past weeks. The more time he spent with Ana the more time he wanted to spend with Ana which didn't make sense to him seeing as she annoyed him so much. They had been discussing school and laughing at each other's recollections of crushes they had or disastrous first dates. Ana was swinging her arms around and using grand gestures to express the drama of her story. She reached up and stood on her tip toes trying to touch the ceiling of the bus to suggest how tall the character in her story was. As she did her t-shirt rode up and exposed her belly button and a strip of her stomach. Ryan wanted to rush over and cover her up knowing if he saw these things then the other guys would too.
He had been sizing her up ever since she stood to tell her story. He was noting all the details of her physical form pondering how he could write in words the effect that sight was having on him lately. It was the finer points that he was seeing like the colour of her skin against her hair or the shape of her collar bone when she stretched her arms out. He was studying the shape of her breasts and her slender hands but when she swung around to face him he dropped his eyes to his notebook embarrassed that he was doing the exact same thing he usually criticized Brendon for doing.
"That's a shit story." Brendon teased her when she finally slumped back down on the seats laughing at herself
"I know." She smiled. "I just like talking." She added and reached for the bottle of Vodka on the table opposite. Ryan looked up as she did and caught her eye. "You want some?" she offered him.
"No thanks." He smiled and continued to write in his notebook. Ana was dying to see what he wrote, she couldn't bear it, he was forever with his nose in that book.
"Your tattoo's cool." Ryan heard Brendon tell her, he looked up from his notebook to see Ana looking down at the barcode on the inside of her wrist.
"Thanks." Her hair fell across her eyes. "I kind of wish I hadn't had the numbers on it now."
"It suits you." Brendon grinned at her and Ryan felt a little jealous they were flirting with one another. He couldn't do that, he found it really hard. "So when are you going to tell me how come you're on tour with Fall Out Boy?" Brendon was keeping keen eye contact with her and offering her plenty of smiles. Ana loved to flirt and she hadn't realised Brendon was so good at it until then. She wondered if she should leave Ryan alone and make Brendon her pet for the tour, he seemed so much more fun.
"Do you have a cigarette?" she asked him.
"No, I told you I don't smoke." Brendon answered her.
"Oh yeah because you'll get lung cancer and die." She laughed at him. "You're such a baby."
"I am?" Ryan was starting to find he couldn't concentrate listening to them play with each other and he shuffled in his seat considering whether or not to go to bed. "So come on, tell me how come you're on the tour." Brendon then said.
"Ok ok." Ana put the bottle of vodka down and sat forward, closer to Brendon. "Well I got to meet the band after a show in California." She began with Brendon's full attention. "Pete was really nice and signed a load of stuff for me so I figured I'd be cheeky and ask for a kiss."
"Ha!" Brendon laughed. "What did he do?" Ana frowned at him.
"What do you mean what did he do?" she said flicking some of her hair from her eyes.
"Oh ok." Ryan looked up to see her expression as though she was trying to tell an adult story to a child.
"So the kiss turns into more of a make out." She tells them noticing that she had Ryan's attention too at that point. "Pete took me to the bus." She kept stopping to drink more vodka just adding to the slight tension she had created. "He told me if I gave him a blow job I could hang out with them for the next few shows." Ryan smiled when he realised she was fucking about with Brendon but Brendon raised his eye brows at her trying to imagine Pete suggesting that. "It was fun and I ended up blowing the lot of them." She smiled at them both seeing a grin spread across Brendon's face. "They said I can stick around until they find a new groupie." Ana laughed hard.
"Do you ever answer a question for real?" Brendon asked her.
"No." she replied.
"Well it was better than the 'I had a crush on my teacher' story." Brendon said as he patted her leg and went to bed.
Ryan closed his notebook and yawned. He knew she was watching him but he was too embarrassed to look in her direction. He only did when he heard a strange clicking noise and realised she had just taken a photograph of him.
"Sorry." She apologised. He had never seen her look awkward until then but it seemed she was embarrassed.
"Let's see it." Ryan said wanting to show an interest in the only thing that appeared to be important to her. He had noticed her taking photos during the week, some of the guys backstage and some of the places they had been. Ana sauntered across the bus to sit beside him and he got a taste of her perfume as she did. She turned the camera around to show him the picture. "Pictures of yourself always look weird." He told her.
"They do." She replied.
"Here." Ryan took the camera from her hands not sure if she would allow him to but she did. He held it up in the air and directed it down towards them. "Smile." He said leaning closer to her but she hesitated for a moment. "One for the tour diary." He said easing her sudden nerves and he felt her head touch his.
He pressed down on the button and heard the same clicking noise before he turned it around to inspect his work. They laughed, the lighting was all out and you could hardly make their faces out in a square of darkness. Ana seemed to relax and she took over adjusting the settings before holding the camera up again pressing her head gently against his. She took the picture.
"Surely you need a flash." Ryan suggested.
"No way." She laughed. "Bright lights are bad for me." Ryan took the camera seeing the picture was too dark again.
"You need a flash." He insisted trying to work out how to switch it on. "Here look." He found the little symbol on the screen. "Smile." Ana giggled and turned her face, burying it gently into Ryan's neck, she heard the camera click and she laughed. "Spoil sport." He teased but he was feeling nerves in his stomach at the sensation of her nuzzled into his neck. He reached his arm around her and the placed the palm of his hand flat on the small of her back.
"The flash stays in your eyes for ages." She said softly as she turned her face up to his.
"Yeah I got a big light in the middle of my vision. I hate that." Ryan replied. Ana wasn't sure what to do at that moment. She didn't want to move because it felt really nice to be so close to him. Ryan's hand held the camera up in front of them and he smiled before he took another picture, this time Ana didn't hide.
"You're really photogenic see." He showed her the picture on the screen. Ryan was well aware that she hadn't moved a muscle since he placed his hand on her back and he figured that meant she liked it. He also knew that Ana was a strange girl and he didn't want to get smacked in the face for trying to kiss her.
Ana felt Ryan's hand move slightly on her back and she turned her face up to his again. He looked down at her, he looked nervous and she sympathised because she felt it too. His hand smoothed further up her spine and when she felt his fingers through her hair and saw his lips part she knew he was going to kiss her. Ryan's mouth met Ana's very gently, cautiously even and their eyes closed as they kissed one another. Ana was dissolving from the inside out with this boy's warm lips on hers and his fingers in her hair tickling her neck. She reached her hand up to his face to touch his skin and to hold his lips in place. Ryan slipped his tongue into her hot mouth and felt a rush of nerves when she did the same. He didn't care that he could taste the vodka on her lips and that she was maybe a little drunk. He dropped the camera on the seat beside him so he could touch her with his free hand placing it gently on her knee. They continued to kiss quite slowly for a while rousing each other more and more. Ana's enthusiasm was encouraging Ryan's hand to slip under the material of her skirt and it excited him to hear a little whimper from her as he started stroking her thigh. Ryan wasn't sure what he was allowed to do or how far he was allowed to let his hands roam. He soon realised the fact that she was simply melting in his hands was a good indication of what she liked and what she didn't.
"Uuh." She let out from between her lips as Ryan's hand brushed in the small space between her thighs. Ana's mind was fuzzy with thoughts she couldn't control and thoughts she couldn't make sense of.
The only concern Ana had was that whenever or however this embrace came to an end she would be left unable to look Ryan in the eye because she would be ashamed by her behaviour. Ryan on the other hand was thinking that if he didn't stop soon it could get awkward, he wasn't sure what this girl actually wanted from him and he didn't feel in control of the situation anymore. Their lips parted and Ryan studied her face carefully, she was reluctant to open her eyes. He withdrew his hand from under her skirt seeing the frown lines on her forehead.
"Hey." He said softly and she finally looked at him.
"Hey." She spoke as though she had been holding her breath. She looked around them checking that no one had seen. "I should go to bed." She said bringing her knees back together. Ryan was disappointed but he sensed she was a little disorientated by what had happened and he knew he had no right to demand any other reaction from her.
"Ok." He said as she edged away from him.
"Ok then." She stared at him. "I'll go then." she said. Ryan wasn't sure whether there was something he was supposed to be doing because she seemed to be waiting for something.
"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked warily.
"Do you want to?" she replied but she looked frightened and Ryan didn't want to be responsible for that.
"I think maybe you should go on your own." He told her.
"Yes." She said and got up. "Night." She wandered off. Ryan sat perfectly still staring at the camera on the seat beside him wondering how that had happened.