Ana thinks Ryan is rejecting her...
Ana felt in good company the next morning because it seemed everyone was being quiet and not just her. They all met across town in a restaurant to make sure everyone got fed before they hit the road that morning. Ana sat close to Pete, her shoulder resting on his making her feel safe. Pete always knew when Ana needed that kind of comfort, it was evident in the way she looked at him. He also knew something had happened between her and Ryan by the way Ryan's eyes were constantly trained in her direction without ever actually looking at her. She finished her food and sat back in the seat.
"Do you have a cigarette?" she asked Pete. He pushed the box of Marlboro in her direction and offered her a light moments later. Ana was completely lost as far as knowing how to communicate with Ryan. Unfortunately although much better equipped to deal with the situation than her Ryan was still fairly lost himself. Pete felt like bashing their heads together to make them talk but he didn't want to embarrass either of them.
"So is everyone ready to head out?" he asked. There were a few grumbles and mumbles from his friends.
"How long will we be on the road?" Ryan then asked him.
"Tony said we should get to the first hotel tonight some time." Pete replied lighting a cigarette for himself. Ryan took the opportunity to look at Ana when he saw her pick her camera up.
"Didn't you say you were doing some press when we got there?" Ryan asked Pete.
"Tomorrow." Pete replied. Ryan smiled at Ana when she lifted the camera to her face and pointed it in his direction. He saw her lips smile back as she pressed down on the button and took the photo.
Brendon looked up from the magazine and scowled at Ana as she took another photo of him.
"God woman." He moaned at her. She laughed and turned the camera towards the back of the bus. "Get a nice shot of Pete's arse." He laughed.
"You don't have an eye for a photo do you?" she asked Brendon. He looked across at her and smiled.
"I have an eye for other things." He told her.
"Girls." Spencer suggested.
"Is that right?" Ana asked.
"It takes a creative mind to spot a beautiful girl." Brendon teased.
"Do you see many?" Ana replied.
"Not lately." He told her and laughed when she smiled at him. Ana really liked Brendon, she loved the banter they shared. It was never serious and it never led anywhere which is why she liked it so much. She was upset that Ryan had chosen to ride on the other bus but at the same time she had been relieved because she had no idea what to say to him.
"Ryan's the creative one then?" Ana suddenly spoke again from behind her camera.
"No." Brendon told her. "He's a creative cripple."
"Ryan's extremely creative." Spencer answered the question. "Ryan does the writing, we get together on the music." Ana nodded at Spencer. "But I guess you could say he's the creative one."
"I think you all are." She then said and Brendon started to laugh at her, he leant forward and pulled the camera down from her face.
"Don't start being nice now." He told her, "It really doesn't suit you." He released the camera and she lifted it again snapping a shot of him.
"I'm going to get lots of photos of you." She said. "That way I can remind people who you were after the band replace you with a better singer." Brendon's jaw dropped and as Ana took a photo he threw the magazine across at her.
"Evil woman!" he shouted as she laughed.
Ana woke to see Ryan stood beside the bunk his hand had just reached out to touch her arm softly. She propped herself up on her elbow to face him with a smile.
"You were on the other bus." She said to him.
"I was." He smiled. "I just wanted to say hi." Ryan explained losing the words he had planned earlier. Ana saw him look down the bus checking he hadn't been noticed.
"Get in." she told him pulling the curtain back on the bunk. Ryan climbed into the bunk with her, lying himself carefully to her side. She reached over and pulled the curtain back seeing him smile. "Where are we?" she asked him.
"I don't know." Ryan replied looking down at his hands nervously.
"I never know where I am." Ana then said to him.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Just that." She told him. "I just never seem to know where I am." Ryan nodded at her.
"Well you know you're on a bus." He smiled. "You're in a bunk." He added.
"With a boy."
"Yeah with a boy." Ryan was still looking down at his hands, twiddling his fingers slightly.
"If you were writing a song about a girl on a bus, in a bunk with a boy." Ana suggested making him laugh softly. "What would they be doing?" Ryan looked into her eyes thinking they were looking especially sparkly that day. He shrugged his shoulders at her. Ana was disappointed and she was about to make some more small talk when Ryan leant forward and started kissing her.
He kissed at her lips over and over until their mouths finally merged giving them both a rush of excitement. She reached up for him running her hands around his face and into his hair pulling his mouth harder onto hers. Ryan enjoyed the way she responded to him, he liked to feel her body almost reaching for him as she got aroused and the soft noises she made into his mouth when he touched her.
"You're so sexy." He told her as he ran his hands over her curves and stroked down her shoulders a little way, kissing the part of her collar bone he had been studying days prior. He had been thinking about how she would feel under his hands and it was better than he imagined. Her skin was soft and it had a sweet fragrance to it that he could smell when he kissed at her. He slid his hand up and around the back of her neck pulling her to his mouth again sliding his tongue between her lips where it teased and toyed with hers. He was aware that his hands had become a little heavier and his kiss a little harder but she was only encouraging him with the soft purring noises she was making and the way she was opening her body to him.
Ryan was considering the idea of calming himself, loosening his hold on her and easing the situation down a gear before they got any more excited. Just as his brain was mulling this idea over he noticed Ana's right leg lift a little and bend at the knee and saw the inside of her thigh exposed to him as her skirt slipped back. His was transfixed as she kissed into his neck. He looked down to her and she knew he was asking permission to touch her but she thought the fact that she had lifted her leg was already permission enough. Ryan took a long, deep breath as he watched his own fingers run from the inside of her knee to the hem of her skirt. They stopped at that point and she wondered would he be brave enough to go any further. She smiled to herself happy with Ryan's decision as he slid her skirt further back revealing the pink cotton of her underwear. Ana loved seeing the concentration on his face as he watched his own fingers stroke all the way to the pink cotton.
Ana thought he looked quite pensive with his hand flat on the inside of her thigh. She felt like she was holding her breath waiting for him to touch her. His eyes found hers with a very serious expression on his face as his fingers came into contact with her underwear making her tense all over. Ana dropped herself down from her elbows and closed her eyes as Ryan's fingers stroked over the material back and forth a little more pressure with each stroke. Ryan thought he might explode watching her writhing from his touch and it made him hard to see his own fingers on the pretty pink cotton.
"Hey!" someone suddenly shouted close to the bunk. "Chuck us them chips!" It was Spencer calling out. Ryan and Ana froze for that moment.
"Wait!" Brendon shouted back. "Here you go!" Then a loud noise followed as the chips were chucked almost the length of the bus. Ryan smiled nervously but Ana seemed too occupied with the fact that he still had his hand resting between her legs. He watched her, she had closed her eyes again, her lips were parting and she was breathing heavily as she moved herself against his hand. He knew he didn't want to leave that situation any time soon but he didn't want one of his buddies to pull back the curtain and see what he was doing to her.
"Oh god." Ana moaned satisfying Ryan's ego with the realisation that he was managing to have this affect on her. Her eyes suddenly opened and she sat up to grab him pulling him into a heavy kiss.
He was on top of her pushing himself against her, she was starting to purr louder than before and he was getting nervous about it but he couldn't tear himself away from her. Ana was in heaven, a tingling sensation all over her body making her feel like she might lose her mind if it didn't reach its peak soon.
"Ryan." His name escaped her lips and he knew that had been far too loud to have gone unnoticed but he loved to hear her say his name like that.
"Ana ssshh." He whispered to her. "Maybe we sh...." Every time he tried to calm their state of affairs she would pull him back to her, ignoring him. "Ana." Ryan tried again but she parted her legs completely and she wrapped them around him.
"Do you have any condoms?" she suddenly spoke, her breathe deep and her voice strained. Ryan was wishing to god he did have a condom on him because he wanted so badly to give her the satisfaction she was craving. Ana was feeling the sense of urgency and she wasn't sure why she wanted him so badly but she reached down between them to touch him.
"Fuck." Slipped out of Ryan's mouth as though it were fluid when he felt her hand rubbing him. "No." he then told her finding his brain again. "I don't have any." he managed damning himself for the fact.
They both noticed the bus suddenly fill with music, loud music that was drowning out the sound of their heavy breath and Ana's moans and groans. Ryan felt like laughing but only because Ana's touch was making his brain misfire.
"We need a condom." She told him.
"Shit Ana I'm not doing this on here." Ryan told her and he felt her body relax a little around him. Her pretty eyes were looking up at him devastated by the rejection. "I can't." he said to her.
"Fuck." She moaned at him.
"I'm sorry, look I can...." He looked down at her not sure how to suggest he could satisfy her without having sex with her. Ana was feeling a mixture of relief and anger which confused her and suddenly she felt all her insecurities rush to her at once.
"Am I too full on?" she asked him.
"Well yeah but that's not the reason...."
"You're full on." Ryan replied still trying to catch his breath back. God she was definitely full on in every sense of the word but he loved it. "Whether it's TOO full on, shit Ana listen."
"What did you think we were doing?" she then asked him.
"I knew what we were doing." Ryan frowned at her.
"Well why if we weren't going to have sex did it get like that?"
"Well..." Ryan looked baffled by such a strange question. "Do you have sex every time you get excited with someone?" he turned it around on her and she was annoyed at him.
"Get off me then." she snapped at him. Ryan was shaking his head trying to work out what he had done wrong exactly. "Don't be mad." He asked her but she looked pissed off with him.
They laid in silence for a while staring at the top of the bunk. Ryan was trying to think of a way to make this girl understand he wanted her but he knew there was a nicer way to go about it. Ana was trying to control her emotions from spilling over because she didn't want this boy to think he was special. He was but she didn't want him to know that.
"I'm not a slut." She told him.
"God Ana I never said you were." Ryan's eyes were pleading with her to see the situation from his point of view. "I just don't think this is the best place for something like that."
"Something like that?" she laughed at him.
"Yes." Ryan insisted knowing he was right, thinking surely she would prefer it to be special, romantic, comfortable.
"Is this too dirty for you?" she asked him and he could hear the resentment in her voice. He was starting to wish he had never kissed her in the first place.
"I didn't say that either did I?" Ryan replied.
"You prefer the sweet and innocent girls that you can show off with?" She said to him looking much more like the girl he had met a few weeks ago, the intimidating slightly hostile girl.
"Why don't you understand I would rather not have sex with you on the fucking tour bus? It's hardly that offensive surely." Ryan replied. He watched Ana adjust her clothing and then she climbed across him and out of the bunk.