Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Sincerity's In, So Don't You Sound Like You Mean It
My Heart is on My Sleeve
5 reviewsworld meet Anabelle Stumph. That's right... with an "h" on the end.
1Original
Chapter One - My Heart is on My Sleeve
"Let's start with your childhood. Shall we?"
I looked up from my denim jeans to take notice of the lush office and remind myself why I agreed to do this. I tucked my auburn (and often unruly) curly hair behind my ears and tried desperately to make my gray eyes meet her more matured brown ones. She seemed to be unnerved by the gesture.
I cleared my throat. I guess I can start with the most difficult part.
"I was adopted by my Aunt and Uncle, who I now refer to as Mom and Dad. My biological parents were killed in a car accident before my first birthday," It sounded insincere, and in a way, it was meant to.
She looked surprised by my willingness to share the information and she must have seen it as a chance to mention the reason I was seeing her.
"That must have been very hard for you to deal with. Do you think that is why you used to hurt yourself?" She asked me in a low tone.
"Hurt myself? You know, the books I've read on the subject tell me it's a disease. Do you not agree?" I questioned sarcastically.
"Anorexia is a disease, but it's not completely controlled by the unconscious either. You knew when you were hurting yourself, Anabelle." She said, as if she were informing me of something I wasn't aware of.
A silence fell upon the room so she picked up on the next subject quickly. "Do you have any siblings?" She urged from her large chair across from me.
"Yes, my Mom and Dad...ugh," I paused to clear my throat. "I mean, my Aunt and Uncle... had two boys before they adopted me," I said, shifting uncomfortably in the posh dark leather chair.
"Do you get along with them?" She asked, pulling out her yellow notepad and scribbling onto it.
"Yes," I said curtly, turning my attention to her bookshelf. I read the titles to myself, and none of them seemed interesting. All either about psychoanalysis or prescription drugs. I made a mental note to ask her about why she doesn't have any classic literature adorning the shelves.
"Tell me more about them," She said, trying to receive my attention.
"Kevin is 27 and Patrick is 22. Kevin works for the Chicago Police Department, and Patrick is a musician," I said mechanically.
"Did they know about your problem?"
"My anorexia was never a secret. I'm not good with keeping secrets," I told her honestly.
"And have they shared their feelings about it with you?"
"Well, Kevin seems to accredit it to my theater work. He thinks it's about self-image and self-esteem,"
"And what about Patrick?" She asked.
"He knows I have a self-destructive personality. He doesn't condone it.. he definitely gives me shit about it, but he understands how I am,"
"Do you think Patrick is the only one that understands you?"
"Patrick and I have always been very close, being that he is only a couple of months older than me. He's always been there for me, and I for him. I don't remember a moment in my life that we didn't share with each other. I suppose it's natural that he empathizes with me," I felt my voice crack and I paused to take a deep breath.
She raised her eyebrows and decided to skip over that. "So, you said you're an accomplished thespian. Do you think Kevin is right, about that being the core reason for the Anorexia?" She asked, leaning forward in her seat.
"I will admit there is a lot of pressure that comes with the business, mainly the dancing aspect of it. I mean, you have to be perfect, and genetically I'm not built to be as thin as other dancers,"
"Does that make you insecure with your body?" She asked, scooting back into her chair as if to hide from my answer.
"Everyone has insecurities, but mine are being analyzed every time I get on-stage. When I was eleven years old I got the lead part in "Taylor's Last Dance", and I remember walking into rehearsal and waiting for the choreographers to rip apart my appearance. I was 'big in the thighs' or my hair was too 'un-tamed'. At the time I weighed eighty pounds, and I thought I looked healthy. When someone is constantly telling you about your faults you begin to believe them. Of course I'm insecure,"
"Is it easier now?" She asked, leaning back into her seat.
I looked down at my 5'4 frame and back to her. "Yes, Its easier now. I haven't had an episode in nearly two years. I think I'm finally comfortable in my own skin,"
"Then why are you here seeing me?" She asked bluntly.
"Pretty much as a favor to my parents. My family worries about me because I've been a little stressed with my current situation. But honestly, I feel better than I have in years. Everything is going good for me right now," I told her.
"What specifically is going good?"
"Last winter I was doing the musical "Chicago", as soon as I walked off stage I was approached by David Slade. At first I couldn't breathe-"
"Who is David Slade?" She interrupted me.
"He's a director, mostly independent films. He's done amazing work, and he is really respected in this business. But anyway, he asked me if I was willing to read a script for him. I never really wanted to do movies. I always thought stage productions were where I would stay. Anyway, I was hesitant at first, but he handed me the script and said 'if you don't play Claire, I'm not going to make this movie. After seeing you, I don't think anyone else can do this,' I was floored by his flattery, and after reading it I couldn't say no. So now I'm about to wrap up filming a movie. It's a little stressful," I finished.
"And what about your personal life? You are twenty-two years old. What do you do for fun?"
"Well, I have a boyfriend, Christian. He is my co-star in this movie, and he has a bit more experience in the business than I do. He's really a great guy, and I like him a lot. We've been together for three months, which is like a lifetime for me. I don't really have time to do normal fun things. If I have time off I usually spend it with Kay or Christian,"
"Who is Kay?"
"Kay is the only female friend I've ever had. She's a great person,"
"Well, it's good you have someone to confide in," She stated. A silence fell upon the room as her eyes scanned her notepad.
"Well, you seem to be a fairly happy person. I'm not going to lie, though. You are awfully thin and I can understand where your family gets their apprehension from,"
"I work a lot. I don't have time to eat right, so I usually just eat granola bars and stuff like that. I'm not so sure I need a therapist, I probably need a nutritionist though," I finished with a laugh. With that grabbed my messenger bag and stood up.
"Well, you take care of yourself Anabelle. If you feel overwhelmed by work, just take a step back. You can always come here for help,"
And that was the end of our session together. I walked out through the doors of her office and noticed the sun going down over the trees, the light orange sunset creating shadows under the trees and buildings. The breeze blew gently through the streets, causing me to pull my light white hoodie tighter around my body.
I felt my phone vibrate from my bag and dug around to find it.
"Hey Belle, it's Brock," The male voice sounded from my phone.
"Hey Brock, what's going on?"
"Are you going to come to the Rainbow tonight?" He sounded agitated. Brock was a mere 29 years old, and after much debate with David I decided to hire an agent.
On top of being an agent, Brock also doubled as a personal relations agent, the ones that book events and interviews. He was really hounding me to come to a club tonight, but there was definitely somewhere else I needed to be.
"Do you think you can cover for me? I know it's late notice, but my brother is coming home some time today. I would have told you earlier, but he didn't know until this morning. They were suppose to be doing some shows in France, but he lost his passport, so they're shipping him home I guess. Anyway, can you cover for me? Pretty please?" I pleaded. He didn't sound happy about it, but he eventually caved. I told him thank you before closing the phone and slipping it back into my bag.
Just as I was wondering where my ride was, I saw Kays black hybrid round the bend.
"To the house we go!"
Authors Note: So, this is the first one. I've re-read and edited this more times than I can count.
Any good stories I should look up?
"Let's start with your childhood. Shall we?"
I looked up from my denim jeans to take notice of the lush office and remind myself why I agreed to do this. I tucked my auburn (and often unruly) curly hair behind my ears and tried desperately to make my gray eyes meet her more matured brown ones. She seemed to be unnerved by the gesture.
I cleared my throat. I guess I can start with the most difficult part.
"I was adopted by my Aunt and Uncle, who I now refer to as Mom and Dad. My biological parents were killed in a car accident before my first birthday," It sounded insincere, and in a way, it was meant to.
She looked surprised by my willingness to share the information and she must have seen it as a chance to mention the reason I was seeing her.
"That must have been very hard for you to deal with. Do you think that is why you used to hurt yourself?" She asked me in a low tone.
"Hurt myself? You know, the books I've read on the subject tell me it's a disease. Do you not agree?" I questioned sarcastically.
"Anorexia is a disease, but it's not completely controlled by the unconscious either. You knew when you were hurting yourself, Anabelle." She said, as if she were informing me of something I wasn't aware of.
A silence fell upon the room so she picked up on the next subject quickly. "Do you have any siblings?" She urged from her large chair across from me.
"Yes, my Mom and Dad...ugh," I paused to clear my throat. "I mean, my Aunt and Uncle... had two boys before they adopted me," I said, shifting uncomfortably in the posh dark leather chair.
"Do you get along with them?" She asked, pulling out her yellow notepad and scribbling onto it.
"Yes," I said curtly, turning my attention to her bookshelf. I read the titles to myself, and none of them seemed interesting. All either about psychoanalysis or prescription drugs. I made a mental note to ask her about why she doesn't have any classic literature adorning the shelves.
"Tell me more about them," She said, trying to receive my attention.
"Kevin is 27 and Patrick is 22. Kevin works for the Chicago Police Department, and Patrick is a musician," I said mechanically.
"Did they know about your problem?"
"My anorexia was never a secret. I'm not good with keeping secrets," I told her honestly.
"And have they shared their feelings about it with you?"
"Well, Kevin seems to accredit it to my theater work. He thinks it's about self-image and self-esteem,"
"And what about Patrick?" She asked.
"He knows I have a self-destructive personality. He doesn't condone it.. he definitely gives me shit about it, but he understands how I am,"
"Do you think Patrick is the only one that understands you?"
"Patrick and I have always been very close, being that he is only a couple of months older than me. He's always been there for me, and I for him. I don't remember a moment in my life that we didn't share with each other. I suppose it's natural that he empathizes with me," I felt my voice crack and I paused to take a deep breath.
She raised her eyebrows and decided to skip over that. "So, you said you're an accomplished thespian. Do you think Kevin is right, about that being the core reason for the Anorexia?" She asked, leaning forward in her seat.
"I will admit there is a lot of pressure that comes with the business, mainly the dancing aspect of it. I mean, you have to be perfect, and genetically I'm not built to be as thin as other dancers,"
"Does that make you insecure with your body?" She asked, scooting back into her chair as if to hide from my answer.
"Everyone has insecurities, but mine are being analyzed every time I get on-stage. When I was eleven years old I got the lead part in "Taylor's Last Dance", and I remember walking into rehearsal and waiting for the choreographers to rip apart my appearance. I was 'big in the thighs' or my hair was too 'un-tamed'. At the time I weighed eighty pounds, and I thought I looked healthy. When someone is constantly telling you about your faults you begin to believe them. Of course I'm insecure,"
"Is it easier now?" She asked, leaning back into her seat.
I looked down at my 5'4 frame and back to her. "Yes, Its easier now. I haven't had an episode in nearly two years. I think I'm finally comfortable in my own skin,"
"Then why are you here seeing me?" She asked bluntly.
"Pretty much as a favor to my parents. My family worries about me because I've been a little stressed with my current situation. But honestly, I feel better than I have in years. Everything is going good for me right now," I told her.
"What specifically is going good?"
"Last winter I was doing the musical "Chicago", as soon as I walked off stage I was approached by David Slade. At first I couldn't breathe-"
"Who is David Slade?" She interrupted me.
"He's a director, mostly independent films. He's done amazing work, and he is really respected in this business. But anyway, he asked me if I was willing to read a script for him. I never really wanted to do movies. I always thought stage productions were where I would stay. Anyway, I was hesitant at first, but he handed me the script and said 'if you don't play Claire, I'm not going to make this movie. After seeing you, I don't think anyone else can do this,' I was floored by his flattery, and after reading it I couldn't say no. So now I'm about to wrap up filming a movie. It's a little stressful," I finished.
"And what about your personal life? You are twenty-two years old. What do you do for fun?"
"Well, I have a boyfriend, Christian. He is my co-star in this movie, and he has a bit more experience in the business than I do. He's really a great guy, and I like him a lot. We've been together for three months, which is like a lifetime for me. I don't really have time to do normal fun things. If I have time off I usually spend it with Kay or Christian,"
"Who is Kay?"
"Kay is the only female friend I've ever had. She's a great person,"
"Well, it's good you have someone to confide in," She stated. A silence fell upon the room as her eyes scanned her notepad.
"Well, you seem to be a fairly happy person. I'm not going to lie, though. You are awfully thin and I can understand where your family gets their apprehension from,"
"I work a lot. I don't have time to eat right, so I usually just eat granola bars and stuff like that. I'm not so sure I need a therapist, I probably need a nutritionist though," I finished with a laugh. With that grabbed my messenger bag and stood up.
"Well, you take care of yourself Anabelle. If you feel overwhelmed by work, just take a step back. You can always come here for help,"
And that was the end of our session together. I walked out through the doors of her office and noticed the sun going down over the trees, the light orange sunset creating shadows under the trees and buildings. The breeze blew gently through the streets, causing me to pull my light white hoodie tighter around my body.
I felt my phone vibrate from my bag and dug around to find it.
"Hey Belle, it's Brock," The male voice sounded from my phone.
"Hey Brock, what's going on?"
"Are you going to come to the Rainbow tonight?" He sounded agitated. Brock was a mere 29 years old, and after much debate with David I decided to hire an agent.
On top of being an agent, Brock also doubled as a personal relations agent, the ones that book events and interviews. He was really hounding me to come to a club tonight, but there was definitely somewhere else I needed to be.
"Do you think you can cover for me? I know it's late notice, but my brother is coming home some time today. I would have told you earlier, but he didn't know until this morning. They were suppose to be doing some shows in France, but he lost his passport, so they're shipping him home I guess. Anyway, can you cover for me? Pretty please?" I pleaded. He didn't sound happy about it, but he eventually caved. I told him thank you before closing the phone and slipping it back into my bag.
Just as I was wondering where my ride was, I saw Kays black hybrid round the bend.
"To the house we go!"
Authors Note: So, this is the first one. I've re-read and edited this more times than I can count.
Any good stories I should look up?
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