Categories > Cartoons > Class of the Titans > trick or treat

trick or treat

by loonies 8 Reviews

when herry,archie,odie,jay and neil were small,they loved to go trick or treating .one hallaween night they went together and they had a funny fun time

Category: Class of the Titans - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Published: 2006/10/26 - Updated: 2006/10/27 - 264 words - Complete

Reviews

  • trick or treat

    (#) angelface 2006-10-26 05:58:47 PM

    im sorry to say but i didnt like that story much...but not to be mean!! just work a smidge harder
  • trick or treat

    (#) greektitan 2006-10-26 06:19:17 PM

    What was archie lol i wana know i like the story update soon!Definate fav and you got the "Yes do tell"From sibling rivalry..LOL!
  • trick or treat

    (#) jekka10 2006-10-26 07:33:57 PM

    It's all critique, remember that.

    1. Length, the story isn't long at all, even if it's just a chapter.

    2. Sentence structure, add a few detail words and it'll give the story more depth.

    3. Spelling, I see a few things wrong, like remembre and themselfs.

    4. Grammar and punctuation, there should be capitals on I, names, and at the beginning of every sentence. Also where you place the dialogue is important.

    5. Descriptiveness. The story is short and plain, lengthen the story by adding describing words and writing about small details to capture the reader in to the story.

    It's a good start, but could be better, but follow these simple critiques and it should be good to go.

    Author's response

    thanks for all your help. I will use these simple critiques okk.Tanks
  • trick or treat

    (#) alliebedallie_marble 2006-11-04 04:04:36 PM

    This is NOT all crtique, remember that.
    #1.Story length is perfect.
    #2.Your story already has lots of deth.
    #3.You dont have to spell all the words perfectly.
    #4.It's okay that your grammer and punctuation aren't all corect.
    #5.Descriptiveness.The story is good length and exciting.
    #6.It's a great stat for your story.
    #7.YOU ROCK!!!
    (note:Please put in some A/A fluff in the next chapter?)
  • trick or treat

    (#) alliebedallie_marble 2006-11-04 04:07:17 PM

    Opps! Ment to say "Depth"

Log in!




Register Lost password

Filter

You won't see stories with a lower score when you browse or search. Log in to adjust filter.
0

 

Featured Story

Site Stats

  • Authors: 652011
  • Stories: 39930

Recent Stories