- It's all critique, remember that.
1. Length, the story isn't long at all, even if it's just a chapter.
2. Sentence structure, add a few detail words and it'll give the story more depth.
3. Spelling, I see a few things wrong, like remembre and themselfs.
4. Grammar and punctuation, there should be capitals on I, names, and at the beginning of every sentence. Also where you place the dialogue is important.
5. Descriptiveness. The story is short and plain, lengthen the story by adding describing words and writing about small details to capture the reader in to the story.
It's a good start, but could be better, but follow these simple critiques and it should be good to go.
Author's responsethanks for all your help. I will use these simple critiques okk.Tanks
(#) alliebedallie_marble 2006-11-04This is NOT all crtique, remember that.
#1.Story length is perfect.
#2.Your story already has lots of deth.
#3.You dont have to spell all the words perfectly.
#4.It's okay that your grammer and punctuation aren't all corect.
#5.Descriptiveness.The story is good length and exciting.
#6.It's a great stat for your story.
(note:Please put in some A/A fluff in the next chapter?)
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