(#) inu_luvver10 2007-03-21I'm sorry but you need to take a creative writing class before you write your next fic.
Your story was lacking to say the least. Your punctuation, grammar, paragraphing and description all need a major overhaul.
My advice to you is to find an author who has all of these good qualities and ask them to beta read for you.
I had an author that was there for me when I was starting out. He helped me to correct my gramar and expand on my descriptions.
Also a good language arts teacher will be able to help you correct your mistakes.
I hope that I can help you write better fanfiction.
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