Categories > Anime/Manga > Fruits Basket > an evil smile

threw the roof

by cookiewithchoco 1 Reviews

yuki and kyo get into a nother fight because yuki forgot to pick tohru up from work when kyo is thrown threw the cieling, and tohru rushes after him. she finds kyo laying unconsuios with a man stan...

Category: Fruits Basket - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Romance - Characters: Kyo, Shigure, Tohru, Yuki - Published: 2006/11/04 - Updated: 2006/11/05 - 362 words

Reviews

  • an evil smile

    (#) inu_luvver10 2007-03-21 03:05:47 PM

    I'm sorry but you need to take a creative writing class before you write your next fic.

    Your story was lacking to say the least. Your punctuation, grammar, paragraphing and description all need a major overhaul.

    My advice to you is to find an author who has all of these good qualities and ask them to beta read for you.

    I had an author that was there for me when I was starting out. He helped me to correct my gramar and expand on my descriptions.

    Also a good language arts teacher will be able to help you correct your mistakes.

    I hope that I can help you write better fanfiction.

    Inu_luvver10

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