christians back, and there's gonna be trouble mother of shit, this chapter was such a pain in the ass to put out oh, and "i'm the fucking artist!"- www.falloutboyrock.com
- every fiber of my being
I'm counting that as a referance to me and Jenn.
i’m counting that as a reference to Katy.
“Christian, you may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know about art and love, only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.” – let me take this opportunity to thank you, evie. on top of writing great fanfic, you are a screenwriter. is there any other talents you have that you’re hiding from us?
- Well, let me just say that you gave birth to a wonderful baby elephant! That means that I really liked this chapter.
This chapter was very well written, and even though you said that you were having problems with the ending, I loved that you left us all on a cliffhanger with an Angry Pete "I'm the Fucking Artist!" HA HA HA!
Another thing that I enjoyed was the relationship advancement between Elise and Belle. It was excellent how Belle had to ask for help and how Elise came to the "rescue."
OH! One more thing. Christian back = complete drama-rama! I love it.
Let me shout out back at cha! You da bomb. Fall Out Boyz 4ever!
Author's responseangry pete= :] especially after watching that video. did you see andys shorts? joes bling? i pretty much want to never see them like that again. actually, i’ll probably watch it again when i get home. gah.
Elise (despite herself) has a heart of gold. That comes later in the story, though. is anyone else noticing that every one comes to Belle’s rescue?
Christian back = complete drama-rama i guess that’s settled. can you say “perfect catch phrase”?
(#) whatkatydid 2006-11-17 12:30:19 AMI'm going on military style ( HA!) and giving 10 uniformed reasons why I love you, your writing and you adorable baby elephant, congratulations BTW. ("o)
1."A couple of people working behind the counter looked up at her, a mixture of sympathy and curiosity on their faces. They knew what happened to her... anyone with access the internet, television, or a newspaper knew what happened to her. She had become "the mysterious actress that was abducted", and (needless to say) it bothered her. " A short but powerful paragraph that just reminds the readers the extent to which this event has impacted.
2.IN the notebook this part about Pete "but I'm sure he's overanalyzed and warped it so many times in his brain that he's not even able to comprehend our situation and find any reasoning. that's the pete I could never want. " This was a brilliant line. I can't really say more.
3.Also in the notebook "but this isn't a sonnet, and I'm not the romantic i once was..." I feel sad for her y'know? Nothing more mortal than having Romance robbed from you.
4. The phone conversation between Elise and Belle, I love that thoughts you wrote between the dialogue, really capturing hoe Elise in particular felt about this.
5. One of favourite lines ""You don't want to have to cover up the reason why I look like a dead beat crack whore, do you?" There she goes again showing that gritty raw strength of hers.
6./"I knew that my anxiety about her leaving had something to do with the reason why I found myself dissociated in this particular tryst."/ JUST AWESOME - D O DOUBLE J BABY
7./"Wait, are you two having sex? Like, is there penetration going on right n-" Before he could finish the sentence I flung a pillow at him./ Joseph is the cutest retard in the planet. I love him.
8./All of this was fairly new to Belle, but she had to admit to herself that the "girlie" aspect of being a female wasn't so harsh. She enjoyed herself for the most part./ I'm glas you wrote this, I guess this is all part of therapy for Belle. She needs to find the inner woman and stop opressing it. She's an incredible woman too.
9. When Belle jumps from feeling the cold on her shoulder, harsh reminder of what she's been through I guess or did I pick this up wrong?
10. I agree with CeCe, angry Pete. Grrr. You have me totally intrigued with what you're going to do between them both. There's so much potential because there is an obvious chemistry and humans need more than that, they bot have huge flaws too. I'm bewildered and I like it.
sighs I love you, I waited forever for this. xxxx
DoJ smooch and clink of my glass for you
Author's responseokay, you fucking rock. it’s official. “end of.”
and because I’m casually obsessed with lists, i’m going to respond to this in such a way.
1.) i felt like the need to try to get the reader to realize how her professional life was effected. i don't think i covered it enough, and i was praying that no one skimmed over that paragraph. so thank you.
2.)you can read pete's journal entries (at fueledbyramen.com) and realize he is over analytical. i think that's one of his character flaws, and i wanted to incorporate that into this story. so thanks for noticing again.
3.) GAH! i love you for this one. belle has undergone some serious character changes, and a lot of her old traits (the "whimsical" ones, if you will allow such terminology) have been "robbed" from her. man, so many DoJ hi5's for this one. i love you.
4.) Elise is doing it as a favor to Patrick. obviously, they have history. and seriously, how could anyone turn down patrick?
5.)the term "crack whore" always works. try it sometime. you'll be surprised by the power it emits.
6.) this was my attempt at showing patrick in a feminine sense...how much patrick feels for greta. he'd almost rather have a conversation with her than have sex. isn't that odd?
7.)that is a direct quote from my life.
8.)i think that was my attempt at showing her ability to actually get along with women, which is something she's never been able to do. she hangs out with men for the most part, and she's trying to break away from that.
9.) i love you. seriously. i want to show her as still afraid. even though she's turned into a bitch, she's more vulnerable now than she has ever been in her life. it's kind of like putting on a tough facade to hide how she really feels.
10.) DoJ sigh poor, poor peter. that's all i have to say about that.
you are fucking amazing. i love this review. i owe you some cheap wine and a t-shirt now. "FicWad Stole My Soul" or "I'm A Shitty Daughter/Girlfriend". you choose.
- Babies, yes?
Author's responseonly if you birth them. i have decided that i'm not built for baby making. but i'm more than happy to deliver, if ya know what i mean.
actually, i don't know what i mean...
(#) FrostedGlass 2006-11-17 04:59:34 AMAlright, so I actually printed this chapter out so I could read it on the train. (Almost missed the train because my printer is even slower than Joe when interrupting Greta - who is just covering up the fact that she´s a lesbian really - and Patrick making sweet sweet lurve.)
This is one of those rare fanfics you can actually have literary type thoughts about, so I found myself noting down several things on the paper when reading. (What can I say, I´m still at school...)
Here´s the crap I came up with:
A) "sitting in the car that night...staring at the stars with me, brushing my hair from my face like a modern day romeo./but this isn't a sonnet, and I'm not the romantic i once was... /star gazing has never seemed so overrated." - Yes, ´tis. You might even break an arm if you do that shit.
B) The reluctance to help Belle on Elise´s part intrigued me when reading. They must really have had some bad moments in the past. This stands in direct contrast to the professional way Elise behaves when facing the paprazzi, which is evidence of her being a real pro and being capable of not showing what she really feels if she has to (as Belle alluded to.) Elise´s emotional reaction to Belle´s call also makes me think that Belle is kind of important to her because if you simply don´t care about a person you wouldn´t let them get the best of you. That´s simply what I think.
C) I love that you used "turgid" in the narrator´s comment part and "puffy" in direct speech. Very authentic. I´m a sucker for stuff like that. And stuff like Patrick Stump. And bringing up the Stumpmeister out of the blue.
D) Next to the part about Elise making sure Belle looks presentable I wrote down "Wow! motherly..." Now I kinda shake my head at this comment but yeah... I guess you see that she does care about Belle after all. And she behaves like a professional.
E) I like that you mentioned this "My Size" Barbie indicent. Contrasts very nicely with the present situation but also makes it evident that they did get along well at some point. (At least that´s my guesstimate.)
F) Is Patrick distracted from the sex because this whole Belle thing is getting to him? At least that´s my interpretation.
G) Let me congratulate you on having Joe walking in on P&G. I mean WHO ELSE would be qualified enough... DoJ nod
H) "Since the accident she pretty much answered all calls as a courtesy." - Is it just me or does Belle become a bit less selfish? Or does she simply try to clam her guilty conscience?
I) I love how Christian kinda background-babbles into Belle and Pete´s phone conversation. Coincidence? Fate? The latter, I´m thinking.
J) "Do you know what's even more overrated than star-gazing?/Drinking away your problems." - I would like to know if that´s the narrator or Belle? I guess it´s Belle but I´m not sure.
K) I´ll pick up on this listing and we´ll see how long it takes until I´ve used up all the letters of the alphabet.
P.S.: If you keep on writing great fiction with intense and genuine emotions it won´t be long until you´ll actually have elephants following the lead of cows and ask you to have their babies. :)
Author's responseexal, i'm sorry about your printer. damn machinery anyway.
you and katy know they way to my heart. although i must say the letters threw me for a loop. but these lists make me swoon… hey, i think i found another catch phrase.
A.) or maybe get whipped for it (my shitty attempt at referencing your story as well)B.)the history that Belle and Elise share is...well, i'll explain it in a different chapter. but yes, Elise cares a lot for Belle. more than she wants to.
C.) tru dat
D.) "motherly" was exactly what i was going for. i'll explain more later. anyway, Elise has a soft spot in her heart for Belle... but doesn't everyone?
E.) your guesstimate is correct. Elise and Belle were once homies.
F.) this is the only one you've guessed wrong. he is hardly concerned with what Belle is doing at this point. she has neglected him too much and he's starting to let go.
G.) Belle has bad timing too. although the door was locked. had it not been, i'm sure there would have been a cat fight. hooray for those.
H.) Belle is letting go (slowly but surely) of her old character flaws and she will be adopting new ones soon. but she's beginning to realize her selfishness is inhibiting her.
I.) fate it is. who need wentz? (another shirt phrase, perhaps?)
J.) it was almost midnight when i posted this chapter. it was suppose to be in italics, confirming that Belle said that. sorry about the confusion.
K.) So we're moving from (43?) numbers to the alphabet? i'm so there.
wait...i thought this whole babies thing was that i just receive babies...not actually birth them. how in the hell is that a reward? what the fuck... :]
(#) FrostedGlass 2006-11-17 05:08:48 AMYeah, I guess that should be "I´m still IN school..." because I was actually not at school when reading... blah.
Also, just so you don´t forget that I´m really an obnoxious person: Red Bull is Austrian. Like we invented it. I think it tastes like shit (no, I haven´t actually tried shit so far rolls eyes). So now doubt we invented it.
Author's responsei'm more of a Monster drinker. Red Bull isn't sweet enough for me.
i read this and thought "i give her four seconds to post another review to say sorry for the now"...
- Wow, new stories are being shat out like nobody's business, I almost missed this update. Anyway, I like how Belle is slowly becoming civil with Elise...and almost everyone around her. But I know I don't have to mention that Christian is a dead beat and she needs to get back with Peter. I mean, two chemically imbalanced people cancel each other out, right? Well, great chapter, I think I'm the one who needs to step up her game.
Author's responseshat. haha. i love that word. pretty much the equivalent of "plonk" in my book.
you will change your mind about christian. and peter.
and no, you don't have to step up your game. but you do need to update :}
/"Wait, are you two having sex? Like, is there penetration going on right n-"
HA! That made me choke on my bagel, thank you very much.
(#) cockroach_kickers_fx 2006-11-22 12:13:05 AMthis is such a great story so far. i couldn't stop wanting to read more and more.
Author's responsei haven't updated in so long. i didn't think people were still reading this. ha. so thanks.
i'm sorry i haven't updated in forever.
(#) isuckatlifen 2006-12-18 04:27:32 PMoh i dont want her to get back together with christian i want her to be with pete :( this is making me sad but hopefuly it will end up ok
Author's responsei'll make it okay for you, 'cause you rock.