This follows two different stories of two different characters. Warning: Major angst. This is just the first chapter of many. Not sure how often I'll update though
Warnings: Cussing, yaoi (maybe). Flashbacks of rape and other violent acts. Self-mutilation and possible suicide.
Disclaimer: Although I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Evanescence, or the catch phrase "get bent", all the plot bunnies are mine.
Have you ever felt like you were trying to breathe water, when you're standing out in the open? Have you ever been so anxious that your lungs simply refuse to work?
That's how I always feel.
Often I find it easier to breathe after stopping your heart for a while.
Most people would never even begin to understand what I mean.
Ryou's habits scare me. Every time I come to check on him to see if he's ok, I find him floating face-down in his pool.
I've sat and watched him float for several hours and never take a single breath. I don't know how he can do that and still live, but somehow he does.
I remember the first time I witnessed him floating lifelessly in the water. I made the mistake of jumping in and pulling him out of the water.
I've never been so afraid of anyone in my entire life! He was so angry he looked like he wanted to kill me.
I had a hard time explaining to everyone about my sudden bruises. I lied of course, but I told Yami the truth.
Since that day I come to watch Ryou float in his pool, just to make sure he's ok.
I'm really worried about him, but every time I try to talk to him about it, he just gets mad and withdrawals from me even more. So I've decided to simply let him know that I'm here for him. No words are needed to tell him that.
He knows that I watch him float in his pool. He knows that I'll be here when he finally comes out of the water.
I can tell when he's considering surfacing. He suddenly dives to the bottom of the pool and sits there for a while.
I re-animate my body and dive to the bottom without a breath. I wonder if Yugi knows what really happens to me while I'm under water.
I love being completely submerged. The way my hair drifts freely around me, and the crushing pressure against my body brings me an odd sense of comfort.
I can sense Yugi getting anxious. He's been here since school ended today. I might as well surface until he leaves.
The I can continue my "Swim."
Yugi held his breath and stared at the still water. His eyes widened hopefully as small waves formed on the surface.
The top of a silver head emerged from the water, soon to be followed by the pale body of Ryou.
He shot Yugi an annoyed look, grabbed his towel, and went inside while drying his hair.
Sad but relieved, Yugi followed him inside.
---time lapse (roughly two hours) (still 3rd POV)---
Yugi cleaned up the kitchen and placed a plateful of food in front of Ryou.
"You don't have to eat it, but I know you won't bother making yourself anything to eat," Yugi said quietly.
Ryou didn't respond, and Yugi knew he wouldn't.
He sighed and grabbed his things.
"Just don't do anything stupid, ok? I'll come and check on you again tomorrow," he began walking for the back door. He paused with his hand above the doorknob, then turned around and added, "Is there anything you'd like me to bring you when I come over?"
"Sanity," Ryou muttered quietly.
The smaller boy was quite surprised to get even get that much of a response.
"Well, I don't think the grocery store has that in stock. I'll go shopping for you tomorrow and if anything strikes me as something you might like, I'll pick it up for you," and with that he left through the back door, the door he'd become rather accustomed to using lately.
As soon as he knew that Yugi was gone for the night, Ryou pulled off his clothes except for his swim trunks that he'd refused to take off.
He walked out the kitchen door and stood on the edge of the pool.
Now I can resume drowning...