Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu-Gi-Oh! > Happy Squirrel Lodge

Welcome To Happy Squirrel Lodge

by YamiRoojii 0 Reviews

A nice relaxing break in a woodland lodge. What could possibly go wrong?

Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Duke Devlin, Ishizu Ishtar, Joey Wheeler, Mai Valentine, Marik Ishtar, Mokuba Kaiba, Ryou Bakura, Serenity Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor, Yami Bakura, Yami Yugi, Yugi Mutou - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2006/11/21 - Updated: 2006/11/21 - 1277 words

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"I'm going to kill him!" Bakura snarled, the sedatives having finally worn off.

"Oh don't be so mean, he only did it because he's your friend and-" Tea started.

"Shut up! For the love of Ra shut up!" Bakura interrupted, his eyes widening alarmingly.

"But I was just going to say-" Tea tried again.

"I don't care! Just shut up!" Bakura ordered.

"But-"

"Do you not understand what shut up means?"

"Yes, of course I do"

"THEN BLOODY DO IT!!"

"Ah, it's nice to have you back again comrade" Marik sighed contentedly.

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Joey and Mokuba cheered as a van pulled up beside them.

"Where you guys headed?" the driver asked.

"Happy Squirrel Lodge, do ya know it?" Joey asked hopefully.

"Sure, hop in" the driver smiled.

"Happy Squirrel Lodge? That's where we're going?" Seto said in a strangled voice "Mokuba, I hope you enjoy this vacation because when we get home you're grounded."

Ishizu and Mai quickly jumped into the two passenger seats, leaving Seto, Mokuba and Joey to sit in the back.

Joey's face fell as he opened the doors. The van was carrying cases of live chickens.

Seto walked up behind Joey and peered in over his shoulder.

"Oh this just keeps getting better and better." he smirked.

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"Here we are" Duke said happily, pulling up outside the cabin.

It was a fairly large cabin with two floors and a veranda that went all the way round the building, nestled in a small clearing deep in the woods.

It was made of pine and had a sign nailed over the door that read 'Welcome to Happy Squirrel Lodge'.

"Oh, how cute" Yugi said happily, jumping up and down on the spot and clapping his hands.

"I'm not all that keen on Squirrels" Malik said worriedly as he emptied his bucket under a bush.

"Oh don't worry, I'm sure there aren't many around" Duke said reassuringly.

"There'd better not be" Marik said quietly as he wiped out the bowl with a handful of leaves.

Suddenly he heard a rustling from a nearby clump of bushes.

Frowning he crept over to investigate.

Grabbing the top of the bush in both hands he wrenched it apart...giving the three beavers inside a clear path to him.

He screamed like a little girl as they mauled him, shredding his clothes with their razor sharp teeth.

"Why is no one helping me!" he cried desperately.

"We ain't stupid that's why" Duke replied.

Marik sobbed in relief as the beavers finally got bored and wandered away.

Slowly he got to his feet, wincing as the thousands of tiny cuts all over his body twinged at the movement.

Hesitantly, he looked down.

He was completely naked apart from his socks, and even they were shredded at the top.

Squeaking in embarrassment he covered his manhood and ran over to the car to grab some clothes.

"Right, shall we go in then? Who's got the key?" Serenity asked, looking around expectantly.

They all looked at each other.

It seemed to get suddenly darker as they all realised that no one had a key.

Animals for miles around looked up, startled, as a chorus of angry shouts pierced the peaceful quiet of the woodland twilight.

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"Help me" Tristan whispered inaudibly to whichever Gods might be listening.

Bakura and Marik were having a blazing row over which was the best pie filling and Tristan, who was still stuck between them, was covered in spit and bruises.

"I'm telling you, nothing can beat Steak and Kidney!" Marik shouted.

"Hah! You've obviously never tried Pigeon and Leak!" Bakura yelled back.

"No I haven't and I never will you freak!" Marik roared.

"That's enough, you two are friends you shoudn't-" Tea began.

The looks she got as the Yami's both whipped their heads around were enough to silence her.

"We're nearly there, we're nearly there" Yami mumbled under his breath, trying desperately to keep his eyes from shutting.

"Who wants to plat I Spy?" Tristan asked suddenly.

"Ooh, ok" Tea said cheerfully.

Bakura and Marik both considered Tristans proposal for a moment then nodded their approval.

Yami ignored them, his exhausted brain struggling enough as it was to concentrate on the road.

"I'll go first" Tristan said, "I spy with my little eye something beginning with...T."

"Uh, tree's?" Tea chirped hopefully.

"Yup" Tristan smiled.

"Ok, my turn, I spy with my little eye something beginning with...F" Tea said, grinning like a maniac.

"If you say friends I'll snap you in half" Bakura said dangerously.

"Uh, i...it's not friends" Tea stammered, her grin replaced with a nervous smile.

"What is it then?" Marik asked, clearly not believing her.

"Uh, um, ...f...f...foliage!" Tea cried triumphantly, slumping down in her chair in relief.

"Hey, aren't we supposed to be on the other side of the road?" Tristan interrupted before either of the Yami's could say anything.

They all looked out the window, then at Yami.

He had his head resting on the wheel and was snoring softly.

"YAMI!!!!" Tea screamed, causing Yami to sit up suddenly and pop his eyes open in surprise.

"Wha...I don't wanna wear the tutu" he mumbled, clearly confused.

"The road! Watch the road you incompetent arse!" Bakura bellowed, bringing Yami into full consciousness.

Letting out a small cry of alarm, he wrenched the wheel round and steered them back onto the other side of the road.

"Uh, it might be a good idea if someone else drove the rest of the way" he said sheepishly.

"You think!" Marik yelled.

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"This is fun" Mokuba said happily, petting one of the chickens through the gap in the side of a crate.

"Oh yes, I've never had so much fun" Seto sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yo, driver, how long till we get there?" Joey called through to the front.

"Not long now, it's just over that hill" the driver replied.

"Oh thank god" Mai muttered.

Suddenly the van jerked upwards for a second.

"What da hell was dat?" Joey asked the driver, raising his voice over the panicking chickens.

"Just a Stoat" the driver smiled.

"No!" Ishizu cried.

Evil laughter echoed through from the back.

"Shut up Kaiba" Joey growled.

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"Finally!" Tristan cried in relief as the car screeched to a halt about two inches from the rear bumper of Dukes car.

They all got out as quickly as they could.

"You said you could drive!" Yami yelled.

"I can" Bakura yelled back "I hardly ever crash at the arcade!"

They all stared at him, completely lost for words.

"Hey guys" Duke called, waving from the veranda where he, Serenity, Ryou, Yugi and Malik were sitting.

"Hi" Tea replied, walking over, "Why are you all sitting out here?"

"We don't have a key" Malik replied miserably.

"How long have you been out here?" Tristan asked.

"At least an hour" Ryou yawned.

"Wow you got here fast!" Tea exclaimed.

"Yeah well we would, travelling at 200mph" Marik muttered darkly, clutching his stomach.

Tea was about to reply when she was interrupted by the sound of an approaching engine.

They all watched as a van pulled up in the clearing.

Mai and Ishizu jumped out of the front once it had parked.

"Hey where's-" Yami started as the rear door flew open and Mokuba, Joey and Seto, all covered in feathers and bits of hay, tumbled out.

"Thanks" Mokuba called as the van drove away.

Shaking his head, Yami turned and walked up to the front door. Rummaging in his pocket he pulled out the key and opened it.

"Welcome to Happy Squirrel Lodge" he smiled.

Everyone (except Seto, Marik and Bakura) cheered.
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