Let´s go back in time, to that one special person.
(#) pixied_secrets 2006-11-24 10:20:16 AMi love that you are giving us his history. he realizes he's dead, but i thought he would freak out a little more. but, he already realized he doesn't bleed, have to go to the bathroom, or get hungry so it probably gave him a little relief (not the word i'm looking for, but it will have to do) now that he has the answer to his questions.
ah, and giving him two channels=genius. his past is going to be a fun one. but i'm waiting for him to maybe see the present again and how everyone is holding up.
i also love how the time seems to go by so quickly. it adds to the supernatural factor, or at least it does in my mind. the time thing still gets me, though. if it were hell, would there be time? damn you for making me use my brain. it hurts.
i love you.
Author's responseYou´re right, it´s a bit... hm... STRANGE that Pete´s not freaking out upon learning that he´s really dead. My explanation is that yes, he´s kinda suspsected it anyway due to the lack of human needs and also, it´s not gonna do any good, is it? He already smashed the TV and the mirror. And he still feels bad. Probably he´s too rational in a situation like this. But hey, it´s fiction, right? ;)
Well, since I called this "Channel Hopping" I need to have at least two channels, I guess. ;) Yup, he´ll be hopping back to channel 1 eventually. That´s the plan. I´m happy I thought about this countdown thing too. It makes things a lot easier from a narratological point of view. Well, the time passes so fast because I also do not like to use my brain so much and I just can´t think of all the things Pete could be doing in a boring room like this one and I don´t wanna have him spilling out all his thoughts so early in the story. Well, PETE thinks it´s hell. ;)
I kinda fancy you too. :)
(#) patrickdance4me 2006-11-24 11:15:23 AMaw this is sad. poor petey. if he's dead, then i probably just killed myself too or am seriously crying. wow. thats weird to think about... i hope pete doesnt die anytime soon, cause that would be uber sad. :[
but this story is awesome, so update soon!
Author's responseFirst I wasn´t sure if I should even post (as in just write and it but never post it) a story like this because it´s... well, let´s just call it risky. I mean Wentz is dead in here. But yeah... I figured people that read my other stories know that I´m a tongue-in-cheek kind of person and this is just trying to do something new and original, I guess. Even though the dude gets on my nerves with his egocentrism sometimes, I think he must be an amazing person in real life. I mean I do write an ENTIRE story just about him and let me tell you, it ain´t easy either. ;)
Thank you for your interest in this story. I appreciate it muchness.
By the way, you and I are the ficgals with dead people in their stories. We should get together and have a seance with crystal´s balls... I mean a crystal ball sometime. ;)
(#) howshesews 2006-11-24 12:27:37 PMang. second member of the DoJ to post a review. CRYSTAL! i just want to be first once, okay? just let me have number one one time. ( i only say this because you're wlays the first to review my chapters, and i assume it's sort of a goal of yours. it's a good goal, though.)
well. this, once again, has got me amazed. the level of seriousness in this story makes for a very inteelegent read. way to go.
also, props on your ability to write in first person, as pete. anytime you write as him, i'm amazed. they're always things i can truly imagine him thinking. so, you've got that down to an art.
i love the sincerity of his conversation about laura. she really seems to be 'that girl' for him, and he has so much humanity ( or at least, more than i ever would have assumed) when he is undergoing laura related nostalgia.
My, time flies when you´re being dead.
i kind of laughed at this line. i don't know if that's what you were going for, but really. i laughed. hard.
i like how he refers to hell as 'burning lava and a red bastard with a pitchfork.' good analogy. (would that be an analogy? i'm sorry. i just didn't pay attention to literary devices in high school. or ever.)
all in all. i'm very pleased with this story, and i wish you would update it...oh, you know, now. that would fabulous.
hey, by the way. get a buzznet, alex. really. succumb to the internet personals location known as buzznet, just like the rest of the DoJ girls. well, most of them.
Author's responseObviously I am a first-person writer anyways. I guess it´s the easiest to try to get into Pete´s head because that guy´s ALL OVER THE INTERNET with a gazillion of blogs, journals and what-have-yous. ;) Thank you for the praise on the Wentzianism nonetheless. :)
As the story progresses more light will be shed on Laura and her relationship with/ effect on Pete. I kinda wanted readers to chuckle about the "My, time flies when you´re being dead." I just can´t do completely without humor, even though this story is meant to be serious. But it´s more of a cynical, sad kind of humor so that works, I guess. Also, I think it´s truly Wentzian. ;)
Not really an analogy, I guess, but something like... maybe a symbol kind of thing. I´m not gonna say metaphor because Hell/ Satan are pictured like that as a cliché. (And don´t worry, I can never work out the meter in a poem. ;))
Buzznet... You know what, I´ll do that right now. Blah. *BIG FAT DoJ blah*
(#) xloveorsympathy 2006-11-24 12:52:50 PMWow, another great chapter im thinking this is one of my fav's so far, i love how you can just seem to get into his head , which gets into our heads and it feels like were there, is the word descriptive? i dunno to many words out there for me to choose from. Cant wait to learn more about Pete's past with laura.
Author's responseYour fav, really? Cool. :) I´m a bit skeptical ("sceptical" for Katy) about the latest chapters because... I don´t know. They kind of lack "it". Nah, well. Well, I take "descriptive" any day and thank you very much for it! :)
Thank you for this encouraging review. This really means a lot to me. (And let me point out that you have a username that is very fitting to the kind of reviews you write. :) )
(#) whatkatydid 2006-11-25 07:40:48 AMI'm in way deep, and I love being inisde a story looking at it from the inside out, with the style of this, I get to do that.
I always wanted to know what it's like to be Pete. This is the closest I can get.
And Laura....well. That's just plain interesting.
On a serious note, I'm excited, seriously, I mean it. I'm abosrbed and it's a nice place to be in, the rain is making my skin a great place to hide from.
On a DoJ note: Me loves you. xx
Author's responseOk, the rain & secret hiding place thing. Is that you wanting to be Pete too much? ;) Thank you. I love your slaps. :)
(#) MusicxisxHearts 2006-11-25 09:03:50 PMPete cannot be dead! I hate that room! It is confusing. Talk about some twisted, crazy plotline.
Author's responseI´m trying to convey a positive message though. Probably it will only show in the end. But I only have the best of intentions. Mixed with mediocre writing skills. Thanks for the review! :)