me: it's basically showing how the people around her treat her like a child because they're used to it me: she doesn't want that anymore. she fiends for independence. KatyDidThat: hey this is...
- This chapter was absolutely fabulous, so you have nothing to worry about.
I love love love the interaction between Pete and Belle. I admire the way Pete continues to try to help her even though she is doing everything in her power to push him away, and finally he realizes it! It was like an "Ah Ha" experieince. Beautiful.
And the end with Patrick and Greta...classic. You were very discriptive and I felt as though I was actually saying goodbye to someone. It tugged at my heart-strings.
This is a great piece of work. I am so excited to see where these next chapters go. DOJHI5!
Author's responsefirst of all, thank you Patrick numer 2.
i was going for that with this one. i think pete having that experience with belle is essential to the story, and i'm happy to see it wasn't as subtle as i feared it would be.
i was waiting for a "that's not realistic at all. patricks is clumsy, and not that romantic...blah blah blah". i know. i write romance. it's what i do. patrick is a (i'm stealing a word from katy here) "vessel". i'm stoked that you enjoyed that.
i'm waiting for your update, missy. i'm saving your DoJ hi5 and ass-grab.
(#) patrickdance4me 2006-11-26 01:31:47 PMlol. poor pet-uh. awwww hemmy is the bomb. he reminds me of my puppy :]
Author's responseyea, there's a lot of hemingway in this chapter because i miss my puppy. i actually wrote "Ziggy" three times.
it's a good thing i proof. my mind was pretty much in another universe (yes, alex...pee-you) when writing this.
(#) whatkatydid 2006-11-26 01:41:44 PMWould you like to submit a rewiew? Hell yes indeed I would.
Crystal - I can't believe you, you just get better and better and better. Here's why:
> The tension between Pete and Belle was just phenomenol, when I was reading, I couldn't help thinking how on earth they got to this place and then you wrote: *"We weren't suppose to end up like this," She mumbled, followed by a brief shuffling of the bed and silence.
* It was like you reading my mind.
I cannot believe the sincerity in which you wrote this, every word was careful and intentional. It was beautiful. It gave me courage. I promise I will update soon.
One question though: How can someone who drops as much oral filth as you - write something so beautiful?? Do you a split personality too??
Author's responsethe whole "we weren't suppose to end up like this" wasn't added in until i proofed it. how crazy is that? when i read over the chapter, i was like "the whole fucking chapter revolves around that… what was i thinking?". that's why my proofing process is so grueling. i add the important stuff at the end.
i think it's funny how sappy and sentimental i am with my writing, and i'm pretty much not that person at all. oh, and oral filth... :O
anyway, stop watching Lost and update. oh, and when you're done with that, check out Buzznet- our DoJ meeting minutes are up
- Oh Pete and Belle. They're so complicated, it's great. I'm hoping they'll work it out, but with you and your twisted brain, who knows.
Greta leaving, seriously, almost brought me to tears. I don't want her to leave, but I really want Patrick to hook up with Elise, thus adding even more complicated-ness.
One thing I noticed, was how detailed this chapter was. The way you spun your words left me with such a vivid picture. Crazy. I loved it. Keep shatting out those elephants.
Author's responseyea, i'm strange. it would take away from my over all appeal if i actually took the normal way out of this mess.
the Patrick and Greta scene...that was a mess to write. I tried throwing in Patrick mannerisms, but that whole scene is very "not patrick", so it was kind of a pain in the ass. but i wanted to see a romantic patrick, and i'm a pretty selfish person for the most part and i try to write for myself. so...
shatting. i'm so in love with you...
... would you like a roofie?
I love you, k?
Author's responsei'm okay with that
(#) FrostedGlass 2006-11-27 06:45:57 AMJust to use a phrase you´re overly familiar with: You´re the shit, Crystal!
The ambiance in this chapter (especially in the beginning with Christian and Belle & later with puking Belle & Peter) is stunning. Have a FUCKING rating point for that. (Also, next time we AIM I´ll return the “smiley favor” to you. You vixen.)
Onto the details…
"You have reached the voicemail of phone number six two two-" -> Ok, Crystal, so you´re not willing to share private Patrick information with us? How can you not give us his whole phone number?!
I love the paragraph "I can walk by myself, thank you," […] Once she felt okay she brushed his hands off her and made an attempt to walk towards the door. -> Despite not having been drunk once in my entire life (I´m not kidding when I´m saying I´m boring), this strikes me as completely authentic behavior of a drunk person. Also, it clearly shows Belle´s stubborness. (Blah, blah, wants to be independent. She can´t even go to a bar on her own…)
Thank you for not having Pete hold back her hair while she pukes. No offenc/se but this cliché always makes me puke. ;)
From the way you describe Greta (through the eyes of Patrick) I kinda gather that I do have my chances with you. You vixen.
Damn you for making me melt to the sweetest line ever: It [Patrick saying “I love you.” to Greta] was perfect… far better than any melody that could ever be produced. Damn you for making Patrick and Greta the best couple ever. Damn you, vixen.
Also, right now I can´t be bothered with videos (not even of FOB) or Loveline. I have stories to read, review and finish. Not that anyone cared to know that.
FrostedGlass: CeCe, is it really ok for you if we use “Ready for this” as our anthem?
LOVELA: Why, OF COURSE! I´d love that.
FrostedGlass: Are you sure?
LOVELA: I insist.
FrostedGlass: Ok, not gonna argue with you.
* This fak- SLIGHTLY ADAPTED copy of a conversation CeCe and I ACTUALLY HAD counts as a legal document in all courts of the world. In all universes. In all insane asylums, too.
Author's responsei'm not exactly sure why you keep referring to me as "you vixen" but i kinda like it.
i actually thought about the voicemail part. i was going to have it say "Hey, you've reached Patrick's blah blah" but i decided to go with the automated voicemail. i mean, if i were a rockstar i would have an automated voicemail. and then i would kick pete out of the band.
the whole drunk belle scene was fairly easy to write. my freshman year in college...
anyway. why do i always write from patrick's point of view? let me answer this for you simply: 'cause i can. and it makes you question my sexuality, which in turn, is just fun. (:O)
are you willing to sign the TPGS petition now? sarah is going to go to the Hush Sound show with me just so that we can give her this petition and hope she takes our advise.
i must admit that the "OF COURSE!" was very CeCe-esque, and you fooled me for a minute. you plonkster
(#) howshesews 2006-12-02 12:07:34 AMdear patrick and greta,
this is a petition from the public, but mostly sarah and crystal. we have something very important to say to the two of you, so now would be a terrible time to stop reading. here it is:
it's supposed to happen. general concensus says you two are made for each other, and who are you to remvoe the stinging arrow of cupid, and place it into someone else.
you're no one to do such a thing, so please have shameless rabbit-sex, and do us all a favor.
thank you for your time,
sarah and crystal...but porbably nobody else.
how's that for a "please just do it" letter? i think it's fabulous. i also think this story is fabulous. all the patrick/greta interaction is amazing. you pull it off well, my friend.
i know you're porbably like, "well it's about time sarah reviewed." all i have to say to that is:
you're right. i'm such a slacker. but here i am, reviewing on this incredible piece of fiction, spelling nearly every other word wrong.
good freaking job, my dear. you're writing is...ugh. gives me chills.
Author's responsethis is the greatest thing ever. i love you for actually agreeing with me on the patrick and greta love petition. it makes my heart swell with... feeling? no, that can't be it...
- alright a couple things.
1. I'm not sure about the Ptrick/Greta thing, mainly because I have no idea who she is and the vid u linked to a couple chapters back made her look like a big butch lesbo. But hey,ho, each to their own. I DO love the way you write them, though. That Stump is a big lumpa love.
2. Belle kind of needs a slap. You have made her one of the most annoyingly frustrating but ultimately endearing characters I've read here.
3. Poor Pete. You've made me feel sorry for Wentz. And that's a hard thing to pull off.
4. This bloody list writing is contagious.........
Now,how bout an update?
Author's responsei'm in love with lists. you sure do know the way to my heart...
1.) if you want to see greta, check out my profile. i have a pic on there of her and the 'trick.
2.)i wanted to make her into the character that you love to hate. i'm glad it worked :)
3.)i'm officially proud of myself. thank you.
...and your wish is my command...
- woah dude, i just read that whole thing in like.....2 sittings. woah again. Just amazing. Very powerful story. im feelin it. haha. grrrrrreat! updates man! updates!!!
Author's responsei think this story turns people off because it's so lengthy, descriptive...blah. but i'm just that type of person. i have a lot to say most of the time, and i do it with more words than neccessary.but thank you, i'm really stoked that you find it powerful. that's awesome :)