The battle at #12 begins.
- Love the story and I (as a avid reader) thank you for taking the time to write another chapter.
Author's responseThanks. Like I said in an earlier response. I thought I was fairly current with my responses, obviously not. Chapter 27 is up and I hope you enjoy.~Jim
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2006-11-26 07:53:42 PMI'll have to think on the contest for later.
This was quite a good chapter. I feel really bad for Sturgis; he was the only Azkaban survivor besides Tonks, wasn't he? The war is definitely brutal when the survivors from one huge battle begin to die.
Looking forward to the Harry vs. Snape scene coming. I'm glad you killed Fleur off as well. Not because I don't like her, but because it wouldn't be plausible to let her live.
Author's responseI was ambivalent about killing off Sturgis. It was nice that I could give him some character, but what can you do. Seven Aurors survived Azkaban as well. Hope you enjoyed chapter 27.~Jim
- Wow, poor Harry never seems to catch a break, does he? Your story continues to be among the best I've read but partly for the overall quality, but mostly due to the little touches that make it so much more believable like Voldemort being taken as a prank caller, or Sturgis' thoughts before Fleur's arrival. Even Voldemort's... creative punishment for Peter; a far cry from the usual "Oh, and Wormtail? Crucio!" cliche.
Now, onto the nitpicking; there was one minor spelling mistake I noticed; Voldemort referring to 'there' victories instead of 'their' when adressing his Death Eaters. More importantly one of the lines before Dobby's death seems to have a bit missing; it goes 'He pushed whatever had covered his face off of him and ' and then just begins a new paragraph. Both fairly minor errors, especially in an 8k word update, hence why it's nitpicking. Plot and continuity wise, it seems a bit odd that Voldemort actually has any unmasked Death Eaters, let alone addresses any by name in the presence of others, since from what I gathered from canon he was pretty big on preventing his Death Eaters from betraying each other by keeping their identities secret (Seen during the pensieve trials in GoF, though he does name names later on in the graveyard) though that's less of an issue if those involved are either azkaban escapees or otherwise wanted by the ministry. Secondly Black Widow Rush sounds very interesting, but I think given the varied side-effects it warrants more explanation than we've had so far; If I was Harry I'd definitely want to know how Fleur managed to brush off nearly every spell thrown at her and gain super-strength, assuming at least that he's in any position to get answers following his fight next chapter.
All that aside, I'd like to add the usual 'keep up the good work' line, and apologise for my inability to think up what happens after the goblin, centaur and Dark Lord walk into that bar. Thanks for keeping me entertained,
Author's responseHmmm. I've gotten behind on my responses on this site. Thank you for a long and thought out review. I'll check and see if I have already corrected the errors.
You make good points, you would think that Voldy would have a more cell like organiazation for his DE. I may have him incorporate that later.
Hope you have had a chance to check out chatper 27.~Jim
(#) The_Resident 2006-11-27 12:35:41 AMThe goblin battle and the battle with Fleur were quite well done and very exciting. I am sorry to see Fleur die at Harry's hand. I am sure there will be some repercussions because of it. Keep up the great work. I am following both this and Bungle and hope to updates soon.
Author's responseGlad you liked it. Chapter 27 is up now and I am working on chapter 16 of Bungle.~Jim
- Quite an excelent chapter!!
Love the talk of Susan and Harry they really complement.
I can see that Voldemort is really trying to retake control and make people know he is still a force to fear. It will be interesting of one of the atack was stoped by Neville and his Greatgrandfather, that will be cool.
Its sad that you have to kill Fleur, are you sure that its not posible from her to regenerate the damage? after all she was super-pumped in Vela magic.
Dobby make the ultimate sacrifice for his master, quite moving. He will be missed and I hope Harry find another friend and servant like him soon.
I can't wait to see the fight between Snape and Harry, I am sure the manor will help him with atacks, traps and power, but it will be amazing, I just hope Snape suffer a defeat so he return to his master in shame(or dead).
Author's responseWait no longer. Chapter 27 is up. Hope you enjoy.~Jim
- OUTSTANDING CHAPTER!!!! BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!! I see you have join the likes of Kinsfire and such on fanficauthors.net, which would you prefer that I review there or here or both? I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter, this story rules!!!! DO keep up the outstanding work and update soon please:):):):)
Author's responseWhereever you want to review is fine by me. FFA's system allows a bit more interaction as the replies are emailed back to you.
Thanks for the review.~Jim