(#) caitsithff7 2006-11-27great start with the story but I found a few things that you might want to look into. It might have been on purpose that you have sirius alive and them going into their seventh or sixth you have writen both ways. Some of the grammer needs work and a few missing words. Otherwise very well done.
(#) jabarber69 2006-11-27Hey great story, love the whole ideal! I downloaded your story off of your website but your right it being not beta-ed I couldnt read it, it was so bad, so I guess I will just have to wait for each beta-ed chapter to come out.
Author's responseI agree that it needs to have a lot of work, this one. I am also rewriting some parts of it, especially the lemon scenes. They are truly disgusting and unsatisfying. Much too less.
Now I have a more dirty mind, I am going to get my imagination loose at them. I can not publish those lemons on the FF.Net, but I can at FicWad.
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