Another girlfriend from the past.
(#) whatkatydid 2006-11-29 12:56:33 PMok wow. I cannot believe you.
Here's the reasons why:
/After five days of seeing just yourself plus the short appearances of people from a life now lost on a freak TV screen, you really get bored of yourself. Bored to death.
/ Love it.
lunatics usually don't realize they're insane. Well you'd know Darling.
I wanted to see a confirmation of the irreplaceability of Pete Wentz. That would make way for a great T-Shirt slogan ladies....
Our relationship cul-de-sac left us with one option only: To go back all the way, but on our separate ways. Great English. Seriously.
What struck me about this Alex was that Pete never really described his passion for Caren, it was like he was just going the motions of relaying the details of his relationship with her.
The cruel blow he dealt at the end was very powerful and struck home the mentality of the 'Pete' we are dealing with here, although I can't help feel that something else is going on.
I genuinely was floored by this chapter. bows down
Seriously though. I love you Wife.
Author's response"Bored to death." Another attempt to sneak some kind of humor into the sad, sad tale. Does that mean I'm a loon now or not? I guess such t-shirts would be a confirmation of that. Really? Thank the Lord (of the Hats) because I worried that it might perhaps not be proper English. Well, let's see and wait what Crystal has to say about that one.
Yeah. I need to work on that though. Because Caren really did mean a lot to Pete, I mean he moved in with her. But for now, I just wanted to have him talk a bit about their relationship and why it fell apart. And also allude to the fact that he does see that he's been selfish there.
Thank you for this very encouraging and useful review. On your way out, please help yourself to some ? and some DoJ ass-grabbing.
(#) MusicxisxHearts 2006-11-29 01:21:18 PMI think it's pretty cool how you show a side of Pete that no one normally writes about. Normally, he's the hero and all that crap, but your story shows his selfish side too.
Author's responseThank you.
Have you read LOVELA's "I remember"? If not you should, as it features a completely original Pete. But be prepared, it's high on drama and angst. And high-quality writing.
(#) pixied_secrets 2006-11-29 04:15:50 PMI don’t know where to start…but here:
1.) having pete notice the time. that was one of my big questions as well, and it only seems logical that eventually that would cross his mind as well.
2.)/No changes. I wasn´t rotting away or anything. At least not on the outside. / i really like the way that was written. very "peteresque"
3.)/I wanted to see them fail. I wanted to see a confirmation of the irreplaceability of Pete Wentz./ not only is that incredibly arrogant, but it's kind of pete's way of feeling like he made a huge difference. in this "hell" he means nothing, but he's still holding on to his importance in his former life.
4.)/When I think back to that moment now, my next reaction makes me feel ashamed...And, apparently, that´s all I wanted too. /...wait. is pete starting to realize he wasn't a perfect person? is he feeling regret towards his previously selfish self? very nice, Alex.
5.) having him explain his justification in leaving Caren, trying to soothe himself...gah.
i love where this is going. this chapter show us that he is getting a little nugget of realization that shows him that his arrogance and previous position of fame doesn't really matter anymore.
Author's responseCrystal, your reading/ interpreting skills just never let me down. :) That's all I can say. I'm so grateful for this review.
(#) pixied_secrets 2006-11-29 04:55:02 PMalright, i just read through Katy's review. this chapter was so good that i didn't really pay attention to any of the technicalities. i know, oh em gee.
anyway, my mind ran over this a couple of times: her brow in a furrow, now, granted, that is proper english, but you usually don't see it written that way. suggestion: She turned around, furrowing her brow, and sat down next to me.
i don't know if i am over-analyzing this because it was pointed out, but.../To go back all the way, but on our separate ways/ is a little confusing. i don't really understand whether you're trying to convey that they could go back to the beginning of their relationship or they could just go their separate ways. it seems contradicting.
anyway…yea, i loved this chapter.
Author's responseYeah, I wanted to change that "furrowed her brow" thing because it's such a... cliché? But I guess it is a fixed expression and you don't wanna mess with those...
The second thing, yeah. Totally agree with you, it is confusing. I just didn't wanna give up on the cul-de-sac imagery that's why I wrote the stuff after the :. Well, you know in the end they broke up so they went their separate ways without giving the relationship another chance.
(#) bandgeekfreak 2006-11-29 05:16:19 PMI was about to say that I thought that Pete still lived at home with his parents, but I see that you explained yourself in the footnotes. That's okay, I think we should give Pete some benifit of the doubt and let him live on his own. It makes him cooler for some reason.
Author's responseYeah, more coolness definitely couldn't harm Captain Clandestine. But you are right. Wouldn't have been a problem to have him move back in with his parents. Well, at some point he eventually did because he was in his room when he took the pills...
(#) xloveorsympathy 2006-11-29 06:26:48 PMhahahaha. I hearted the ending. Yes, im quoting for once.
" Yes... And I think your dinner is burning up."
that made me laugh.Seriously laugh. This chappie for some weird reason reminded me of those scary Subway sandwich commericals, i think its because you mentioned Lasguna ( ok i cant spell.)
Author's responseYou LAUGH at that kind of stuff?! I like you. ;)
We don't have Subway sandwich commercials here but I'll take your word for it. Thanks for the r&r!
- Alright, being that I am last to review...again, let me just say that this story is absolutely spectacular!!!
I love how Pete is wanting his friends to fail without him because in all honesty, when we die, we don't want life to go on as if we never existed. For the boys to fail means that Pete made an impact on their lives and the world. I LOVE IT!!!
You get one of these: SMOOCHES!
PS: Are you and Katy married? Why wasn't I invited to the wedding???
Author's responseThat is a good point. So maybe it's not being egotistical so much but just being human. You're right, CeCe.
grabs SMOOCHES firmly... SMOOCHES slip out of hand and land on the floor... grabs SMOOCHES again but they won't stay in place angrily rolls eyes and kicks SMOOCHES into corner and puts glass over them
You weren't invited because we had 2Unlimited playing at our wedding. :P