Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Severus and Jenny - a Life

Uncle Ooshus

by cearrae 1 review

Sequel to The Old Walls Crumble. To know Jenny, you need to read that story first. The continuing saga of Severus Snape, his family, aquaintances and students. Mostly in humorous, drabble form, wit...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: G - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Characters: Snape - Published: 2006-12-25 - Updated: 2006-12-26 - 3440 words

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark or infringement is intended.

So sorry for not updating recently. I've been swamped at work and with the holidays... Speaking for which, for what ever end of year you love to celebrate - Happy Holidays and for myself, Merry Christmas. I did my best to get a chapter for you as a present. Do drop by with a review and say hello. I miss hearing from you.

May 2006

Severus walked slowly back to his family's chambers, wincing with every step. Only his anger kept him moving along after being hit by an errant hex from a fourth year Gryffindor. He entered and quietly removed his teaching robes, intending to escape to his private laboratory. Turning, he took one step forward and trod upon the magic baby doll belonging to his daughter. The toy immediately began wailing.

"Severus, is that you?" called Jenny as she trotted out to silence the noise.

Severus sighed. "Yes, it is I. Why is this... this... thing lying here on the floor?" he asked in a petulant tone.

"Saoirse probably dropped it while she was playing with her nanny elf." Jenny looked closely at her husband. "Are you all right?"

Severus brushed by her. "Of course I am. Did you plan dinner here or should I go to the Great Hall?"

Jenny reached out and playfully smacked his backside. She gasped when he started and groaned in pain. "Severus, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" She began to open his trousers to look.

"Will you stop it, Jenny, I can look after it." He pushed her hands away from his buttons. "Jenny, can I go to the bathroom before you begin exploring," he insisted, holding his pants up and hobbling down the hall.

Jenny followed him to their chambers and the en suite. "What happened?"

"Imbeciles! I was in the firing line, if you will." He gingerly lowered his pants and looked in the floor length mirror. "Bugger," he said, quietly.

Jenny looked in horror at the boils sprouting bas relief over her husband's buttocks. "Oh, Severus, what are we to do?" She watched as a boil burst only to begin growing again. "Let me get Poppy Pomfrey," she decided, turning to go to the infirmary.

"NO! I can look after it," Severus insisted, grimacing once more.

"You can hardly walk, for god sakes, Severus. Wait there." Jenny went to the nursery where a nanny elf was watching the two children. "Nanny, can you help me?"

The young elf stood up and smiled at Jenny. "What can Nanny do to help her Muggle Mistress?"

Jenny hated the title, but the elf insisted on using it. "Can you ask Madam Pomfrey to come to my chambers? There is a problem I need her to get to the bottom of."

The elf looked distressed suddenly. "Is one of my children not well, Mistress? Did Nanny miss something?"

Jenny shook her head, "No - no, nothing like that. It's a private matter. Will you go? Tell her Professor Snape needs her help."

The elf nodded, and disappeared with a snap of her fingers only to reappear a minute later. "Madam Pomfrey is coming by floo. She was not very surprised."

"Thank you, Nanny." Jenny hurried from the room and checked on Severus. She found him pointing his wand at his backside.

"Bugger," he muttered as his spell went awry again.

"Severus, come and lie down, Poppy's coming." She pulled his arm to make him follow. "You'll do damage to yourself this way."

He allowed himself to be led back to the bedroom only to find Poppy waiting for them. "You might have announced your entrance, Madam." The embarrassed wizard had instinctively covered his dangly bits with his hands, wincing once more at the sudden movement. "Turn your back until I'm in bed, at least."

With an amused sigh, Poppy turned her back to him. "I heard what happened, Severus. It's not the first time I've seen a bare backside."

He eased himself on to the bed and lay on his belly. "It's my bare backside and I don't like showing it to anyone," he spat. "Alright, do your worst."

Poppy approached the bed. "I bet you don't say that to Jenny." She smiled at Jenny as she began her examination. "There's been a spate of these hexes this year. I must have the Headmistress address it. It's taking up far too much time." Muttering an incantation, she passed her wand over Snape's tender hind cheeks, stopping new boils from forming. "There, I've disenchanted the hex. Unfortunately, the boils won't heal with a charm. You'll need to use a poultice for the next couple of days to get rid of the puss. I'm sure you know what to use in it, Severus." Poppy conjured bandages over his buttocks and stood back. "I would suggest an extra cushioning charm on your chair in the meantime."

"Thank you, Poppy," said Jenny, pulling the quilt up to return some dignity to her husband.

Poppy nodded. "I don't usually make house-calls, but under the circumstances..."

"Professor Snape, are you all right?" asked the voice of the Headmistress from the hall.

Severus groaned. "Is there to be no privacy in my own chambers? Who let you in?"

Minerva sniffed indignantly. "I'm Headmistress of this school. I can go where and when I please, professor. Anyway, your nanny elf let me in. Now, how is your... injury?" She looked at Poppy.

"He'll be sore for a few days, but he'll survive," said Poppy.

"He was in a right state when he came in," added Jenny.

"He's still in the room," Snape snapped, "and he can answer for himself."

"Headmistress, there has been a terrible rash of these type of hexes, you must do something," insisted the Mediwitch.

Minerva nodded, "I will get to the bottom of this."

"Well, let's face it," said Jenny, "no one likes to be the butt of a cruel joke."

Severus groaned as much in annoyance as in pain. "Will you all please GET OUT OF HERE! I've had enough torture for today."

"Daddy," said Darrius from the bedroom door. "Did you hurt yourself?" He trotted in and hopped on the bed. "Show me where and I'll kiss it better."

Severus slumped down and pulled the pillow over his head to drown out the laughter from the women surrounding him.


June 2006

Jenny stood in front of the mirror holding up different outfits in front of her, trying to decide what to wear to the Weasley/Granger/Potter/Weasley nuptials. She sighed in frustration at herself and her wardrobe. Everything she owned looked dowdy in comparison to the wizard's robes. After her marriage, Jenny had continued to wear her Muggle clothing, while Severus wore both styles, depending on the occasion.

Severus watched as Jenny threw her clothes on to the bed before flopping down beside them. He smiled at her typical Jenny-esque reaction to an upcoming public event.

"What has you so frustrated, Mrs. Snape?" he asked from the doorway where he stood.

Jenny hadn't heard him come in and turned at his voice. "I think I should just stay home on the weekend, Severus. I haven't a thing to wear, and this wedding will be all over the papers come Monday. This is a huge event in the Magical world. I'd just look... stupid."

Severus went to sit beside her. "If you don't go, then I shan't either. It's not as if I'll be missed."

Jenny shook her head, "You know as well as I do, that's not true. After all that's been written about you and what has come to light following your exile..." She faded off. "If you don't go, Arthur will be very disappointed. It won't look good for this Ministry."

"Well then." Severus stood and clapped his hands. "It's just as well I made arrangements to go into London tomorrow. We leave early to keep an appointment, so don't dawdle in the morning."

"What appointment?" asked Jenny.

Severus smiled and left to attend to paperwork in his office. Let it be a surprise, he decided.

Next morning, Jenny stood in front of an enchanted mirror staring at her image. She could hardly believe it was her likeness looking back from the reflection.

"Oh my, they're beautiful robes," she declared to the dressmaker from Madam Malkins.

The woman smiled back. "Yes, they are. This is the latest from Paris. We just got a delivery in for this season. I say, the royal blue does suit you. Your husband has good taste."

"Severus chose these?" asked Jenny, surprised at the news.

"Yes, I did," said Severus, entering the fitting room. "Do you like them?"

"Oh, Severus, this is the most beautiful outfit I've every worn." She paused as a pair of matching pumps appeared on the floor before her. Slipping them on, she stood and waited as the hem was adjusted. "I suppose I'll be going to the wedding after all."

"Indeed, Jenny, I could hardly appear without my better half accompanying me."

Jenny turned and looked at him properly. "You've bought new robes too." She was surprised at this as he hated new clothes.

"Well, I couldn't embarrass you by wearing the old stuff I have." Severus smoothed down the front of his new forest green robes. "I think we should appear in the Daily Prophet as members of society, not as a poor school teacher and his wife.

"I'm sure Lucius would approve,' said Jenny.

"I'm sure he will. Now, let us return home and practice our techniques to snub our inferiors. Perhaps we could take lessons from the Malfoy's."

"Don't push it, Severus," said Jenny in mock annoyance.

Severus smirked, "Oh, I forgot for a moment. You are a standard bearer for the proletariat."

"And don't you forget it." She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for my robes, even if they're made for a bourgeoises."


July 3, 2006 THE DAILY PROPHET Price 7 Knuts


This past Saturday, July 1, 2006, Wizards took over the exclusive venue of Alexandra Palace, in London, for a double hand-fasting ceremony. The Wizarding Hero, Harry J. Potter took as his wife, Ginevra M. Weasley, daughter of our Minister for Magic, Arthur Weasley. At the same time, Ronald B. Weasley, the son of our Minister for Magic, married Hermione J. Granger, the Muggle-born witch who came to fame during the downfall of the Death Eaters and their infamous leader. (See page three for an overview of the history time line.)

These young heroes, pictured above in the official wedding portrait, found love and romance amidst the violence and turmoil that coloured their formative years.

The young Miss Weasley was resplendent in a couturier designed wedding robe from France, made from the finest embroidered linen. Her brilliant red hair was crowned by a wreath of white roses that served to enhance her glowing complexion and sparkling smile. She was supported by her sister in law, Fleur Delacour-Weasley, and Miss Lily Dowd, the young ward of the Weasley family.

The young Mr. Potter, supported by Messrs Remus Lupin and Neville Longbottom, was presented to his bride by his Muggle relatives, his maternal aunt and uncle. It was noted that the aunt in question frequently seemed to be overcome by the occasion and was fed copious amounts of brandy.

Miss Hermione Granger wore a traditional Muggle-style wedding dress and veil as she was presented by her parents. She was supported by Miss Luna Lovegood and Miss Nymphadora Tonks. Mr. Ronald Weasley, supported by his brothers Charles and Frederick, seemed enthralled to be with his blushing bride.

In a break from the usual form, Minister Weasley and his wife, Molly Weasley (nee Prewett), presented both their son and daughter at the same time. It was a most touching and memorable moment as they walked forward in the official circle to meet the others at the apex. Mrs. Weasley was quite overcome with emotion, and cried throughout the ceremony. Our Minister remained quite stoic, but one could sense his deep emotions, as he was seen to dab his eyes with Muggle paper handkerchiefs, which had been brought by Mrs Granger.

The guests included the crème de le crème of Wizarding society, not at least of which was Severus Snape, the mysterious hero, and his Muggle wife. As seen below, Mrs Snape wore couturier-styled robes of the current Paris design and outshone many of our Matrons of Wizarding society. Along with our celebrity couple, Mr. Draco Malfoy and Miss Gabrielle Delacour, sister of Fleur Delacour-Weasley share a celebratory toast to the newlyweds. This reporter would not be surprised if this pair was to become a common sight around town in the near future. (See page five for a full description of the reception and list of guests.)


Jenny put down the daily prophet and chuckled to herself. She resumed eating her breakfast and feeding Saoirse.

"What's so funny," asked Severus around a mouthful of Toast and bitter marmalade.

"Read the paper. We made front page," replied Jenny.

"Must have been a slow news day, but why is it so funny? Do I look that bad?" He picked up the paper and looked.

"You were very handsome, Severus, and they actually complimented me. No, I was talking about who else was in the picture with us."

Severus read the piece and chuckled quietly as well. "Listen, did you hear that?" he asked.

Jenny frowned. "Hear what?"

"Well, if Draco should woo the Miss Delacour junior, the Malfoy's and Weasley's would become extended family." He shrugged at her confused look. "I just thought I heard the sound of a glacier sliding into Lucifer's domain."

"Oh," said Jenny, nodding her head, then saying again, in a different tone of understanding, "Oh."


Lucius Malfoy and his son were invited to the Snape household for Christmas dinner. Jenny insisted on doing it all Muggle-style. Lucius for some reason found this amusing and entertaining. They arrived after lunch for drinks and a gift exchange.

"How does one charm this to work?" asked Lucius as he examined his gift.

"You don't," explained Severus. "This is a Muggle mobile phone. It's far more convenient than using a fire call. I bought you a phone you can buy time on as you use it but there is another way of purchasing the service. I'll show you when the shops are open on Boxing Day."

Lucius still looked sceptical. "This is one of the new items you insisted we put on our list of stock, isn't it, Jenny?"

Jenny nodded. 'It did quite well, actually. We got a good deal from the distributor so our prices were reasonable."

"I think this is a brilliant idea," said Draco as he examined his own phone. "You say they use these all over the world, Jenny?"

"Absolutely," she replied with a smile. "Thinking of buying one for a present, Draco?"

For a moment Draco looked flustered. "Uhm, well, ah, yeah, I was, actually." He glanced quickly at his father.

Lucius lifted his brow. "Draco, I had hoped your time in Slytherin would have taught you some semblance of guile. As it is, you are so blatantly obvious about your feelings for the Delacour girl..." He faded off.

"Father I..." He stopped himself from revealing too much while in company.

Lucius looked at Severus, who merely raised his eyebrow. "Draco, at one time, I would have found a connection with the Delacour's as undesirable. Past history has changed many things, not the least of which is my sense of propriety." Lucius paused and leaned forward. "If you choose to pursue Mlle. Delacour as a suitable consort, I shall support you in anyway I can."

Draco smiled. "Yeah, all right then. Thanks Dad, that's brilliant."

Jenny stood. "Excuse me, the turkey needs basting one last time and I think an extra bit of rum in the plum pudding wouldn't go amiss."

The men all stood as she left the room. Jenny giggled at the unfamiliar manners of her guests.

"Hey, Darrius, want a game of Chess?" asked Draco.

"Yes, please, Uncle Draco. Can you show me how?" Darrius had been given a children's Wizarding chess set for Christmas.

As the chess game was set up Lucius and Severus talked quietly for a time before Jenny called for assistance in the kitchen.

"You've become quite domesticated, old man," said Lucius.

Severus snorted. "Actually, it's just that I chop vegetables more evenly than her electric food processor. Help yourself to another drink."

"Uncle Ooshus, I really like your Christmas present," said Darrius as he played in front of the fire with Draco as his opponent.

Lucius smiled at the black locks of the tousle-haired boy who was learning the basics of Chess from his gift, which would only allow the pieces to move in the correct fashion for the child. "I'm very pleased to know you find my gift amusing, Darrius. I'm sure you'll become quite a Chess master when you grow up."

Darrius looked up at his father's friend and shook his head. "Nah, I don't want to be a Chess master."

"Really," Lucius responded, "What would you like to become, Darrius; a Potions Master like your father?"

Again, Darrius shook his head. "My Mummy said that Daddy has to work very hard at his job, and that's why he doesn't have time to play very much. She said you didn't have to work hard to earn money. Not like my Daddy."

Lucius frowned at the tyke's declaration. "Really, well then, how did your Mummy say I made my money?"

"Mummy said that you were..." At this, Darrius paused to think. "A very rich, snooty snob, who made a pile of money, without ever needing to break a sweat in the effort." He smiled following his recitation.

Draco chortled in glee at the little boy's comments. Lucius scowled at his son, making Draco laugh even harder.

Lucius cleared his throat before replying. "Ah, I see. So, Darrius, what exactly do you want to be when you grow up?" he asked.

Darrius thought for a moment more before replying. He didn't see his mother standing in the doorway behind him observing the conversation. "I think I would like to be a very rich, snooty snob who didn't have to work hard to earn my money. That way I could have more time to play," he decided. "Uncle Ooshus, will you teach me how to be a rich, snooty snob so's I don't have to work hard?" asked the innocent boy.

Lucius was not offended by the commentary on his livelihood in the slightest, as Jenny had espoused her belief on more that one occasion, much to his amusement. He noticed the aforementioned Mummy standing in the door and smiled at her before replying, with much relish, to the little boy.

"Darrius, as a close friend and confident of your father, I would consider it my bounden duty to ensure your initiation into the realms of the snootiest of snobbery. Indeed, I will tutor you in the highest forms of the skill, and guide your path to success in the pursuit of excellence in the fine art of professional leisure." He smiled at the fiendish look Jenny sent his way.

"Really, Uncle Ooshus, would you do that for me?" asked the little boy excitedly.

"Without question, Darrius; you have my hand on it," replied Malfoy Sr. with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. He extended his hand and took Darrius' for a gentleman's handshake.

Darrius jumped up, headed towards the door and shouted, "Mummy, Mummy, Uncle Ooshus is going to teach me how to be the snootiest snob. He promised. Will that make Daddy proud?"

Jenny took her son's chubby face in her hands and leaned down to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Tell you what, love, you make sure and tell Daddy at dinner tonight. I can't wait to see the look on his face. Now go and wash your hands."

"Okay. Thanks, Uncle Ooshus, you're brilliant." Darrius scampered away leaving the adults alone.

Jenny glared back at Lucius who returned her look with an ingratiating smile.

"Up your arse, Lucius," said Jenny quietly.

"Yes, my dear, but of course it will be done tastefully, by someone other than myself. That is the Malfoy way; the way of the snob."
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