its been a couple weeks since gerard and amy announced their relationship. I hate her. but not because shes with gerard. i actually love the fact shes with gerard, because ive never seen him happier. but i hate her for the simple fact that shes perfect. shes beautifully original, and captivating, and extremely intelligent. Shes everything any guy would want in a girl. So i no longer have these feelings for gerard as i did before.
...okay so i lied there. but i no longer wish that it was me he was holding, and kissing, and loving. because i only wish for him to be happy, and he is, so thats good enough for me. and ive slowly come to realize i cant hate amy. you cant hate somebody because you wish you were them. it doesnt work that way. because over the past few weeks, shes actually been quite pleasant to me, and i cant hate her.
so i guess ill just have to move on. things will work out. plus, riley hasnt been home in a while so thats good.
I heard the doorbell sound, and i got up from my bed where i was currently scribbling in my journal. I scurried down the stairs and opened the front door, to see a very flustered looking frankie.
"hey, frankie. come on in" i smiled, his face softened and he nodded and came in.
"hannah, can i stay here tonight? my parents are fighting and i dont want to go home." he frowned.
i nodded. "stay as long as you like frank. wanna watch a movie?" he laughed and nodded his head in a violent manner. he loves watching movies.
"which one?" i asked him.
"ummm....how about dawn of the dead?" he asked excitidly.
"aww come on, we watch that all the time with mikey and gerard.." i frowned at this, realizing gerard never comes over anymore to do such things with us.
frank noticed this, and put his hand on my shoulder. "brode listen. i know it still hurts. but you'll come to see gerard isnt worth it. well, right now he isnt. you got that punk?" he grinned.
i laughed, punching him playfully, "hey. dont call me a punk. and yes, i got it. i agree. im already forgetting about him!" i stated proudly.
"well dont forget about him completely, i mean he is still our best friend. just, forget those "unwanted" emotions." he made the quotations hand gesture when he said unwanted. i laughed at him, and nodded.
we decided to watch V for Vendetta, since its a pretty chill movie.
we cuddled up together on the floor, with blankets and such. halfway through the movie, i felt myself slip into much needed sleep.
i hadnt been sleeping alot lately, due to all the stress.
it was comforting to have somebody hold me through the night, as lame as that sounds.
the next morning, i fluttered my eyes open to and the sunshine burned painfully into my eyes. i groaned, and felt someone shift to the side of me. i turned to see a sleeping frankie, one of his arms placed protectively around my waist. i giggled a bit, and watched him intently. i never noticed how beautiful his features were.
His pink lips were parted slightly, and his lip ring shined in the sunlight. his nose was perfect, and the way his chest went up and down with every breath was unmistakably innocent. i smiled, and leaned down closer to his face.
i blew in his face, and he scrunched his nose up and squinted his eyes. it was really cute. i did it again, and he turned over, his arm still around my waist, causing me to move with him. i giggled, and a smile formed on his face. he slowly opened one eye, and closed it again. i removed his hand from my waist, and got up, grabbing a pillow and hitting him with it. he was startled, and shot up. he glared at me, and lowered back down, mumbling incoherent curses at me.
i sat back down next to me and waited for him to get his ass up.
"are you watching me, brody?" he smirked, his eyes still closed.
"so what if i am. you look cute when you sleep."
his smirk turned into a smile, and he looked thoughtful and then spoke. "so do you. i was watching you when you fell asleep last night, you seem so peaceful."
"i felt peaceful." i answered truthfully, and another truth kind of hit me hard.
was i having feelings for frankie? i mean like, you know, /feelings/?
this was definitely new to me. but i cant say i objected to these feelings. it sort of felt right.
when frank was finally up, we both went into the kitchen and he sat down at the table.
"so what would you like frank? eggs, cereal, oatmeal, waffles, pancakes--"
"pancakes pancakes pancakes!!" he squealed, i chuckled.
"would you like some pancakes frank?" i asked sarcastically, and he nodded his head up and down like a three year old.
i got busy making his pancakes, and i dropped the spatula, mid pancake flip.
"whoops" i said, and reached down to get it. frank had said "ill get it" at the same time, and reached for it, my face met his, and i blushed as did he. he looked at me in the eye. before i knew it, his lips had collided with mine.
his lips, they were soft and gentle. we both stood up, forgetting about the spatula, and focusing more on eachother. i opened my mouth a bit, and his tounge explored my mouth. he deepened the kiss, my hands finding their way to his messy dark brown hair, and his hands finding their way to my neck, adding more passion into the kiss.
ive never exactly shared a kiss so passionate, yet delicate at the same time. i was feeling things for frank i didnt think id ever feel, but now wanted to feel more and more. he lead me into the living room, never breaking the kiss. we fell back onto the couch and continued kissing ever so deeply, and loving.
oh god, this boy found his way to my heart so quickly. too quickly. however, i would let him have my heart. because i wanted so badly to have his.
when we finally broke the embrace, he looked at me lovingly and gazed into my blue eyes, his forehead now against mine.
"hannah..." he started.
"wow." i finished.
"i know...wow." he smiled, pecking me on the lips again.
we spent another fifteen minutes staring at eachother and pecking eachothers lips every now and then, until we both smelt the odor of something burning.
he looked at me quizically, and i looked at him the same way.
"oh my god, the pancakes!" i screeched, and let go of him and ran into the kitchen.
i entered the kitchen and turned the stove off, and waved my hand in front of my face to clear my air supply of the smoke.
i looked at frank and as he entered the kitchen and we began laughing hysterically. i laughed even harder when frank actually ate the burnt pancakes and made a face and spit them out.
i think im falling for this boy.
because not once today, has the beaufitul boy with ebony hair and deep hazel eyes crossed my mind.
/gerard/. he has amy now, and i have frank.
i realized that today, the only thing that was on my mind was frank iero.