Categories > Original > Fantasy > The Lone Wolf

Friend or Foe

by Togot 1 Reviews

Two boys go to play in the woods, but they find they are not alone

Category: Fantasy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Fantasy - Characters:  - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2005/08/11 - Updated: 2005/08/11 - 619 words


  • The Lone Wolf

    (#) total_stranger 2005-08-16 11:51:54 AM

    First of all, if this seems picky, then sorry! The premise seems interesting, so I'm just going to offer a few pointers on how to make it more readable. Just grammar and layout really, but it will help keep people reading!

    When you have dialogue, it's usual to start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes; makes it easier to keep track.

    It's best to either have tabs at the start of paragraphs, or a line between paragraphs - whichever, make sure you use it consistently.

    I don't know why this is, but there's a grammar rule that says when you open speech marks, you should have a piece of punctuation before them, a comma or a full stop or whatever. Eg: "Torgot writes great fiction!"

    Uh, what else was I going to say? Oh, yeah. 'someone' and 'whatever' are both one word. Ok, that really was picky, I'll stop now...

    Hope this is some help,


    Author\'s Response: Doesn’t seem picky to me I can always use advise as I am new to writing. I do use tabs at the beginning of new paragraphs but I've never really been sure when to start a new paragraph so I just kind of guess. And for some reason my spell check doesn’t recognize someone and whatever as one word. I will continue to try and improve my writing and thanks for the tips.

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