Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > The Buddha On The Road

a meeting of minds

by Monoshiri 0 reviews

Itachi of Akatsuki and Azula of the Fire Nation do business, and their dangerous travelling companions manage not to maul each other over tea and dango.

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Crossover, Drama, Humor - Characters: Other - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2007-01-06 - Updated: 2007-01-06 - 939 words

0Insightful
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're an international organization of serial killers, aren't you?"

Kisame's forehead wrinkled, but he held his empty teacup out for Mai to refill. "'Serial killers' is a bit of a generalization, but yes, that's right."

"And you couldn't have picked a more interesting locale for a meeting than a teahouse?" Mai set the pot back down carefully and glanced around expressionless. "It's so...pedestrian."

"Occasionally, as an international organization of serial killers, we enjoy pedestrian," Kisame muttered around his teacup, unable to keep from grinning as Mai raised half an eyebrow. Under normal circumstances he would already have killed this girl, a weapons' user with less than a single percentage of his own power, but Itachi had opened negotiations with her mistress, and as it was he found himself enjoying her non-company. It was almost as undemanding as Itachi's, with the only occasional annoyance of the girl's professed lack of interest in /anything/.

"Or maybe it's because Kakuzu's doing treasury this week, and he's the cheapest bastard in the known shinobi world, un," Deidara put in cheerfully, causing Kisame's fin to twitch in annoyance. "More dango, Ty Lee-kun?"

"Ooh, yes please! Mai, we should get a take-away box of this to bring back for the chefs to study, it's nature's perfect food! Now where was I...?"

"You were discussing my unusually artistic aura, un."

"Deidara-sempai really likes hearing about himself, so it's a good topic to discuss with him if you don't want him to blow up your head," Tobi supplied in a slightly muffled voice as he somehow contrived to eat his own stick of dango without actually raising his mask. Ty Lee and Deidara both stared at him incredulously, but only one of them hauled off and punched him across the room.

"What did I tell you about being cool and reserved in the Akatsuki?! Idiot!"

Ty Lee swallowed her own dango quickly as Tobi staggered to his feet and dusted himself off. "Right, right, your aura, now it's really a very pale blue, almost white, but it's got these yellow undertones that--"

Mai went back to her tea, having become only briefly interested when it looked like Deidara might actually disembowel his partner. "They do that all the time, do they?"

"It gets old quickly, doesn't it, Mai-kun," Kisame agreed with a sharky grin. "If you're unlucky enough to meet Hidan and Kakuzu, they put on a better show. If Hidan pisses him off enough Kakuzu will occasionally take a limb."

"Really."

"You won't meet them, though," Kisame added as the curtain two metres from Mai's back fluttered slightly and Azula stepped out. "Still intact, are you?" This was to Azula herself, who smiled faintly at him before addressing her two travelling companions.

"We're going. Everything's sorted out for the moment, and we don't want to waste any more of these gentlemen's time." Kisame did not miss the every-so-tiny sarcastic inflection on "gentlemen", and neither did any of the others present, although Tobi just made an awkward "heheh" noise and Deidara was clearly pretending he hadn't heard it. Mai and Ty Lee rose immediately and bid proper good-byes to the three older men, although Ty Lee spoiled the whole thing by grinning like an idiot and letting a rather smug Deidara know that if he ever decided to put on an art exhibit in the Fire Nation...

They left, and minutes later Itachi came out. Kisame raised an eyebrow at him, but the Uchiha offered no explanation or elabouration, so his partner simply shrugged and offered him the dango he'd set aside.

Deidara, of course, was more direct. "I'm really surprised you didn't kill her, Itachi. She seemed like the aggravating type who's a little too big for her sandals, un."

Itachi startled them all by raising his red eyes from the dango to Deidara's face. The explosives expert paled momentarily.

"I was that type."

And then he took a sip of the tea Kisame had poured him, and didn't acknowledge his bigger partner's interested gaze or much else. Kisame put it from his mind, and everything went back to the level of quiet they were used to, at least until Tobi knocked his tea over onto Deidara's robe.

= = = =

"Did everything go well, Azula?"

The princess of the Fire Nation's faint smile grew less so. "We came to a convenient arrangement regarding the issue of the Avatar."

Ty Lee followed slightly behind Mai and Azula due to walking on her hands, but she deftly repaired to her feet before joining in the conversation, such as it was. "That Deidara guy was pretty cute, if you can get past the mouth-on-his-hands thing. Come to think of it, so was Itachi..."

Azula looked sideways at her, and Ty Lee suddenly became very interested in passing tree branches. Mai made a noncommittal noise and went back to wondering idly how you could "occasionally" take off a limb from someone.

After a few more paces in silence, Azula repeated, in a tone that made both her companions very nervous, "'Pretty cute'...if you notice that kind of thing."

"Well, you were in there talking for a long time," Ty Lee tried by way of an explanation.

Azula's smile was as fleeting as lightening, and left a burn trail across the naked eye in much the same way. "Oh yes. We had such a lot to talk about. Family, for instance, and all the ways they can disappoint you."

Mai exchanged looks with Ty Lee, and both of them silently increased their pace away from the teahouse, knowing Azula would subconsciously match and exceed it.
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