anyway i hope it's to your liking even though it's not exactly my favourite chapter! ENJOY :)
oooh & i would also like to thank everyone for the reviews, you're all too kind! :)
Frank needed to spend some time with Gerard. He knew his relationship with Amber put his bond with Gerard in jeopardy, and that was something he didn't feel comfortable with. Frank remembered the time when he and Gerard were sat on the Bleachers one day and made a pact; 'bro's before hoe's', as Gerard kindly put it.
Amber gladly let Frank go to Gerard. After all, Gerard used to be one of her closest friends and she was most certainly not a controlling whore of a girlfriend.
She was sat on her bed, with her earphones in. Her bedroom was quite small; there was only enough room for a bed, a computer and a desk. The desk was full to the brim with various books and items, including a photograph of her and her friend Ashley. Her bed was white, with deep blue pillows that looked ever so cosy to sleep on. On her bed were three stuffed animals; a Panda, a Cat and a Bear, which was Snuggles, her favourite teddy.
Amber smiled as she glanced over a shoulder, her eye catching on Snuggles. She was kinda bored, however. She sighed, not knowing what to do. The weather wasn't exactly brilliant so she couldn't exactly go out, plus she didn't have anyone to go out with as Frank had gone to see Gerard and Ashley was out with her other friends.
She got up off her bed and moved, slowly over to the window ledge, her long, black hair trailing behind her. She put her elbow on the window ledge and rested her chin upon her hand, blinking heavily as she surveyed the land before her. It hadn't changed one bit.
She smiled as she thought about her childhood. She remembered, vividly when Gerard and she went to the Aquarium. It was a funny day, because she was scared of fish. Well, she wasn't really THAT scared of the fish, she just wanted to act scared so Gerard would hold her hand. She laughed at her own naivety and stupidity. If only that sort of stuff worked now.
She turned her head to the East, looking down to the football field. As she did, a large, royal red book caught her eye. She wondered whether she should pick it up and not. She reached over and grabbed it calmly, and gracefully drifted over to the bed where she sat, cross-legged. She hastily reached over and grabbed Snuggles, hugging him tightly for support. It had been a long time since she had opened this book.
Her hands were nervously shaking as she carefully unfolded the front page, revealing a note stuck onto the page. She took a deep breath before reading it, as she knew what it was - she just wasn't sure whether she could cope reading it.
'Dear Amber (and Snuggles too!),
I'm so sad that you're leaving us to start a new life with your mom and dad. That sucks. But maybe one day you'll come and visit me? You'd better, or else I'll make sure I'll send my evil spider monkeys to come and attack you! I'm joking :) grandma says that you can come and sleep over one of the nights, that is if you come and stay with your grandma Anna. Mikey sends his love. He said he'd miss sitting by you in class. I'll miss you more though. You'll ALWAYS be my special girl, no matter what. Even if I make up this really awesome cartoon super heroine, you'll be better than her (even if she has like x-ray vision or something like that). Anyway I dunno what else to say, but have a safe journey to Massachusetts and don't eat fish remember!
Love always, Gerard (and Mr. Puffin!) xxxx'
She closed her eyes, but it didn't stop the salty tears from pouring from her almond eyes. She sniffed heavily and wiped the moisture from her face, coughing to clear her throat and trying to regain her composure. She missed the connection they once shared.
She turned the page, to reveal various cuttings from newspapers, including one announcing her sister's death.
'Angel Nestor will be sadly missed by everyone and we send our deepest sympathy to her family in their time of need.'
She coughed, choking on her tears, the salty taste burning the back of her throat. She turned the page, and came across a photo. It was of Amber, her mother and her father. In fact, it was the last photo they had taken together before her parents died. Amber was the spitting image of her mother, the hair, the skin tone and the eyes were the exact same. They had their arms around each other, whilst Amber's father towered behind them, his hand on her mother's shoulder. They were in their youth, but ironically seemed fatigued and old.
From this moment onwards, Amber couldn't really remember what she had done. She remembered throwing the book on the floor before crawling up in a ball, crying empty tears and beating her fists on the floor in anger, asking why everything had to happen to her.
"WHY did my sister have to die?" She spluttered as she closed her eyes shut tightly. "WHY did we have to move and leave Gerard? WHY DID MY PARENTS HAVE TO DIE?" She coughed violently before taking sharp breaths. "And...and why do I still have to love HIM?" She whispered - her pronunciation could have cut like a knife.
She felt so unbelievably numb. She had ruined everything, all because of her stupid feelings for Gerard. She couldn't have possibly been able to crawl through this messy web of lies she had told herself; she'd either end up hurting Frank or Gerard. She just couldn't decide whom. Maybe, she though, it'd be better if she hurt both of them? Would that be more loving? She knew what to do.
The next few moments were blurry - she got up, staggering like a drunk before violently opening the bottom drawer of her desk, throwing items out of it until she had found what she was looking for, and after that she blacked out.
Her eyes opened slowly and she felt as if she had slept for a few hours. She was rocking gently, her head resting on someone's shoulder, their arms around her, holding her hand. The person was male, as she could hear his sweet, raspy voice linger softly on the air.
"Shhh," he said, rocking her, "Shh, everything is okay."
She blinked in a dazed stupor. What was going on?
"Huh?" She timidly brought herself to say.
"It's okay, please trust me, you'll be fine." He knew he was lying through his teeth. Nothing was going to be fine - he had just found his girlfriend lying on the floor with deep lacerations to her body for God's sake.
She tried to turn over, but her arms were burning, throbbing with pain. She squeezed his hands in agony, wanting to cry but she simply couldn't. She was in more mess than she had intended. Now she had to explain herself to Frank. She couldn't exactly say, 'Oh! I'm in love with you but I'm also deeply in love with your best friend and I can't decide between you! Plus half my family are dead and I basically have no friends, therefore I just tried to kill myself, unsuccessfully!'
Nothing she ever did was right.
He felt awful. He hated seeing her in pain. He wanted to kiss her suffering away or at least share it so she'd feel better. He let go of her left hand and ran his fingers down her right arm, tracing the outline of the raw wounds. She flinched in pain, but at the same time it felt good, as if he actually cared for her. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her tightly.
"Why do this to your precious body?" He asked her softly.
"You won't understand," she replied. He felt slightly offended. OFCOURSE he'd understand.
She paused. She wondered what she was going to tell him. Clearing her throat she began to talk, her voice croaky and slightly lifeless.
"I...I have no family left. I feel so alone," she said, her eyes stinging from the tears. She didn't feel so bad telling him this, as at least it wasn't a lie.
"You're not alone, I...I," his voice cut off.
"You what?" she quickly asked him as she titled her head, moving closer to his throat. When he spoke, she could feel the vibrations of his voice carry throughout his head.
"I love you," he softly said, his voice full of compassion and embarrassment.
Amber's heart skipped a beat and her stomach was filled with butterflies. She loved him too. But this made things even more complicated. If Frank loved her, then how was he ever going to cope with her feelings towards Gerard?
argh! damn this love-traingley thing! i wonder what's going to happen at the misfits concert....