FicWad

Ed and Al continued their journey through the strange world, looking for any sign of anything familiar. Nothing caught their eye. They came across a clearing in the trees. In the clearing sat a small cottage, painted white with pink shutters.
"Maybe we should see if anybody is there," Al suggested.
"Yeah, what have we got to lose?" Ed replied. They walked through the front gate, and up to the house. Alphonse knocked on the door. They waited for a reply, but none came.
"Hey, is anyone here?!" Ed called, pounding on the door. Al sighed.
"Do you always have to make a scene?" he said. Ed threw him a glare. Suddenly, the door flew open and knocked Edward back into a bush. The small white rabbit race out and onto the path, all the while shouting, "I'm late! I'm late!"
"You're late for a meeting with your maker!" Edward yelled, popping out of the bushes and brushing twigs out of his hair. "C'mon, Al! Let's get him!" He started running after the rabbit, but once he got to the gate, he realized he didn't know which way the rabbit went.
"He's so small, I couldn't tell which way he went, once he got to the gate," Al explained. Ed sighed. He walked back up to the house and peered inside.
"How about we just go inside and rest," Ed said. "I'm tired."
"Ed! We can't just go inside!" Al exclaimed. "It's not our house!"
"That rabbit got us into this mess in the first place. So it shouldn't hurt to take a nap in his house."
Al sighed and followed his brother inside. The house was decorated with fashionable antique items and furniture. Some looked normal, but others looked just a unusual as anything else in this strange land. The house was well kept: dust-free and organized. Al turned to his brother who was rummaging through the cabinets.
"Ed! What are you doing?" he yelled.
"I can't take a nap on an empty stomach," Ed replied, shifting to another door. He opened it and pulled out a box of cereal. "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." He tossed the box aside, and settled for Golden Grahams .
Al shook his head in shame, as Ed went through the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk. After Ed had finished his Golden Grahams , he headed upstairs for the bed.
"This is a nice bed," Ed said, sitting down on it. After he made himself comfortable, a growling sound rose into the air.
"Geez, Ed, you just ate," Al said.
"That wasn't me!" Edward argued, looking around. The growl came again. It seemed to be coming from the bed. Ed slowly got up, and just as he stood up, the bed closed like a venus flytrap.
"Guess it didn't like you," Al laughed. Ed grunted and looked for another source of relaxation. He caught site of a candy dish on the dresser.
"Yay! Candy!" Ed squealed with joy. He pulled off the lid and took out a little cookie. It said 'Eat Me' on the frosting. "Well, I can't go against that!" Ed ate the whole thing in one bite. "Eh! It tastes so bitter!"
"Good, I hope something bad happens for your incompetence," Al said. He turned to his brother, but he wasn't there. "Ed? Ed! That's not funny! Quit being childish!"
"What happened!? What happened to me!?" yelled a tiny, angry voice.
Al looked around for the source.
"Al! Down here!"
Al looked down onto the floor, where a miniature Ed stood, looking up at him. "Ed, why are you so small?" Al exclaimed.
"Who are you calling so small that he's like a bug you could step on?!" Ed yelled in his tiny voice.
"I didn't say that, but it is kind of true," Al pointed out.
"Hand me another one!" Ed yelled.
"But what if it makes you smaller?!" Al asked.
"What are the chances?"
"I think this place is going to your head, brother," Al said, breaking off a piece of a cookie and handing it to him. Ed ate it quickly.
Before Al's eyes, Ed grew to twenty times his original size. He filled most of the space in the house, pressing Al against the window. Al opened the window and called up to Ed, whose head was sticking out of the top of the cottage. "Ed! This is what you get for messing with other people's stuff!"
"I love this! I'm taller than everyone!" Ed called back down. He looked down to the gate and saw a large bird in a suit, talking to Bill Murray, the chimney sweep.
"My goodness! Look at that monster!" the bird said to his friend.
"Who are you calling a monster?!" Ed yelled.
"You know what we have to do right?" the bird continued.
"Burn him out," Bill said.
"How did you know?"
"I've seen this movie a hundred times."
"Well, anyway. Climb up the ladder and into the chimney. Distract him while I light the fire."
"God, why do I get pulled into the crappy jobs," Bill said, grabbing his ladder and climbing onto the roof. He started climbing down the chimney.
Ed looked at him. "What are you doing?"
"Distracting you," Bill replied.
"Oh, okay."
Al climbed up onto the roof and handed Ed another cookie. "I think this one will return you to your normal height."
"But I like the way I am," Ed protested.
"Then you'll burn, Ed," Al said.
"So be it. I'll die tall!"
"Ed! Eat the cookie!" Al said, trying to force the cookie into Ed's mouth.
"Aren't you supposed to distract him?" Al asked Bill, who was watching the struggle.
"Oh yeah," Bill said. "Ed, look, a distraction!"
"Where?" Ed said, looking around. Al shoved the cookie into his mouth. Ed suddenly shrank to his normal size. Al climbed down to meet him. Ed sat sobbing in a corner.
"Let's go, Ed," Al said. Ed stood up and walked toward him. "No! You're not taking those!" Al said, smacking Ed's hand away from the cookie dish.
Ed and Al stood at the gate looking at the house that was being to be engulfed by flames.
"That was the bird's fault," Ed said.
"It's your fault that he's doing it!" Al sighed. He followed Ed as they continued there journey through this mysterious land.