Izzy seemed ready to devour me with how far she was leaning over the cafÃ© table. Jenn and Ashley shared a laugh from their sides of the small square table. I blushed madly and Jenn gave me a nudge.
"He so said it back," I laughed.
"That's not all he did," Ashley eyed me.
"So you guys have the most passionate sex ever, and he ruins it by banging you senseless?" I smacked my fingers to cover my lips, forcing back a smile.
"You make it sound so bad," Izzy hushed the laughter shared.
"So are you guys together again?" she asked. I took a breath and shrugged, sipping on my iced mocha.
"I would assume so, 5 times should insure a relationship regained," Izzy and Ashley choked on their drinks and stared wide eyed at me. Jenn just sighed.
"I wish Ryan was that romantic," Ashley eyed her oddly.
"Since when is sex such a romantic, heart clenching thing?" Izzy rolled her eyes.
"Since people started reading this," We all stared at her.
"What?" She shook her head.
"Never mind," I sighed and played with the ring on my right hand.
"You guys ready to blow this joint?" I got three nods of approval and soon we were strolling down the shops of the outside mall.
"Hey look," Izzy's hand curled around my elbow and I glanced at her line of vision.
"No," I hissed. Jenn beamed and giggled.
"That looks like fun," Ashley pushed me foreword.
"It's never too soon to try on a dress," I widened my eyes, feeling hopeless as they pushed me into the small boutique, and obviously flaming man rushing up.
"How can I help you gorgeous ladies?" Izzy began to ramble.
"This is Evie and she's getting married to my husband's best friend," Ashley coughed.
"And secret lover," the guy laughed and whisked me away, throwing me into an oversized dressing room.
"I hate you Izzy!" I screamed. I heard the giggles from all of them as a few dresses flew over the door.
"Here you go," I sighed and snatched one.
After a half an hour, I heard some other voices, deciding to tune them out as I observed myself in pretty much the perfect dress for me at least. I couldn't help but be ecstatic.
"Guys, this one looks so amazing," I heard slight giggles.
"Come on out!" Izzy shouted.
I nervously stepped out and kept my head down as I turned the corner to the little display circle. My vision stayed connected to the fabric until one little word was whispered.
The sound of...
I whipped my head up and squeaked a scream as I saw the guys there. Practically running back into the fitting room out of embarrassment, I took rushed breaths as I entered it again. I frantically searched through my purse for the anxiety pills my doctor had put me back on a week or so ago. The door creaked open and I cursed at myself for not locking it properly. Turning around slowly, I saw Pete's small smile.
"Well," I gulped down fears. "This is embarrassing,"
Pete shook his head and rested his hand on my bare shoulders. I liked the fact this dress was strapless. It gave room for my hair to fall but not take any attention away from the dress.
"You look breathtaking," Now that was a huge jump from the simple, beautiful, amazing or pretty. I took a shaky breath, my hands shaking as I pressed the dress against my hips and stomach. I felt weird.
"Th-thank you," I mumbled.
Pete eyed me.
"You ok baby?" I pressed a hand to my forehead.
"I think so," I whispered. Pete pursed his lips together before reaching for the back zipper.
I smacked his arm.
"What did I say about public sex?" Pete stifled a laugh.
"No, I'm just trying you to get dressed so we can get you home," he paused. "You don't look so good,"
As stupid as it sounds I felt weird letting Pete stand there in the corner of the room, watching me dress incredibly slow. The girls gave me nervous glances as I exited, taking a seat in one of the cushioned chairs.
"Evie, are you alright?" Ryan asked, rushing over and politely pushing Pete away. He frowned but let my brother take over. His hands rubbed up and down on my arms and concentrated on my face.
"What's the matter with her?"
All of them started to crowd me and I shivered, raising my hand to my mouth and pushing past everybody to run out of the shop. I heaved in breath in rushed intervals, panicking as I searched for my inhaler and anxiety pills. The fact I had just taken a dose just a few minutes ago flew right over my head. By the time Joe and Pete had burst out of the shop, I was inhaling the sweet air of my inhaler.
"This," I gulped and took another puff. "I can't," Now I wasn't making any sense. Joe pulled a face.
"Evie has asthma?" I stared at him with a bewildered look on my face.
"Fuck," I paused to take another. "Tard,"
Pete took the liberty of rushing over, but I held a hand to his chest, informing him silently to not do anything. I knew the rules. Any pressure to my chest and I could freaking die.
"Evie, maybe you should sit down," Andy mused.
There were only three people in this world that knew I had a severe/deathly case of asthma, and that was my deceased dad, my deceased sister and...Andy. I only told him because we were just so close at that one point in our lives that it was just the right time to tell that kind of secret.
"I..." I blinked hard. "I can't breath," I wheezed.
I reached out to him and he sat me down, taking my inhaler from my loosening grasp and held it to my lips. Pete stood awkwardly off in the distance, probably not happy with the fact he couldn't do anything.
"But...how do you know?" Pete voiced, as Andy held the medication to my mouth, it not helping.
He turned his head back.
"Because she fucking told me!" I winced.
Fighting was not going to fix any of this. I thought my stomach had dropped when in turn, I felt my kidneys burning. Pete looked hurt now and turned his gaze to me. I quickly closed my eyes and took the inhaler from Andy's grip as he stood up. Patrick handed baby Alex over to Izzy quickly and came quickly to my side, rubbing light circles on my back.
"Just make sure you can hear me, Ev," Patrick seemed to know what asthma was all about.
Pete frowned deeper.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked from a few feet away. Andy sat on the other side of me.
"She has her reasons, Pete," I gulped and stood on shaky legs, pretty much everybody lunging forward as I stumbled and fell into Pete's arms. I circled my arms around his neck.
"Take me home,"
The minute the first few notes hit my ear, I knew the piano piece.
Moonlight Sonata I by Mozart.
My daddy used to play that for me before the divorce. How I remembered was unknown to me. That was a few years before I had my first deadly attack of asthma. Even worse than that, I was home alone. My only friend at the time, a boy by the name of Aiden Clines happened to climb through my bedroom window and spot me heaving and shaking my empty inhaler in the dark corner of my room.
The only other person that I have seen cry harder than he did that fateful five minute trip to the ER was none other than Pete. And I could officially say that he was the love of my life. Some days I didn't deserve him for two reasons.
The first, I was a cold hard bitch sometimes, and hurt him real bad in the past. The other was the opposite. He hurt me in ways I would never be able to forget. It's hard to give a person a second chance, or a third, fourth or even a fifth chance. Some days I wonder what the fuck got to me by letting him back in and then I remember what we had. What we've always had.
And we couldn't just be friends.
It was lovers all the way or nothing at all.
And you've seen both of us with nothing at all.
"Open your eyes, Evie,"
The air was crisp and the dress I wore was loose around my knees. Upon opening my eyes, I found the crystal like sky glimmering above me. I spread my arms out and turned my head to observe the amazing green grass. Slowly sitting up, I found that intoxicating smell of white roses filling my nostrils. I closed my eyes for a moment more and inhaled deeply, finding that it was clear, and it felt amazing. I observed my surroundings again. I pushed myself off the ground, and in almost an eerie way, found myself floating towards wherever I wanted to go.
A voice came from behind me.
"Don't let yourself wonder too far,"
My breathing stopped. It didn't come back.
I slowly turned around to find the garden I had grown to love in such a short time gone and now stood in nothing but white that seemed to go on for infinity. Three feet away stood another person that I couldn't quite make out. Their image seemed distorted and I didn't get what was happening. I reached out and found things moving in slow motion.
I wasn't breathing.
The face appeared and my heart went too. I couldn't speak out. Aiden stood there, letting my arms fall around him, but not feeling our embrace. I felt nothing below us, and looked down hopelessly to find white.
What's happening? I thought.
Aiden pulled away and his eyes shifted excruciatingly slow from one eye to the other.
"You have to be strong,"
My heart wasn't beating.
My lungs weren't expanding.
My mind wasn't thinking.
My lips weren't moving.
I couldn't feel him, his presence.
Was...was I dead?
"You have to be strong, for Pete" Aiden repeated, resting his hands on my shoulders.
"Please Evie, it's not your time," I didn't understand. Aiden's eyes bored into mine with the most outstanding fear I had ever seen in a man.
"Take that breath, Evie,"
My heart still wasn't beating.
My lungs still weren't expanding.
My mind still wasn't thinking.
My lips still weren't moving.
I still couldn't feel him, his presence.
And only one thought remained locked up in my mind.
Was I dead?
"Breathe," Aiden commended, shaking me once, profoundly as if a shock of electricity came through me. Aiden's lips still moved, but I couldn't hear him any longer. Muffled cries broke through the intensity of this all and all I could do was listen as they came through to me.
"You have to save her,"
"Sir, you need to exit the room,"
Where was I?
"But you don't understand!"
What was Pete crying for?
"I love her,"
My eyes closed and I took a slow blink before feeling the touch of arms at my shoulders again. Aiden's voice came back to me and I felt his electric shake again.
"Breathe Evie!" he shouted.
I widened my eyes and felt my chest tighten in extreme pain. And with one more profound blink of the eye, Aiden pushed me to the ground. I closed my eyes in pain and moved my arms out, only to feel the grass prickling my skin.
I closed my eyes.
My heart was beating.
My lungs were expanding.
My mind was thinking.
My lips moved in a breath.
And all I could feel was the presence.
I opened my eyes. And took a deep breath.
"Pete," I called. Immediately, the grip on my hand tightened and Pete sat forward in his chair, looking over at me.
"Oh god Evie," he blubbered. He pushed back some of my mattered hair. "I love you so much, you need to know that,"
I closed my eyes and breathed out. He kissed me softly and upon pulling back, helped me sit up in the hospital bed. I leaned back and observed the empty room.
"How long was I out?" I asked. Pete frowned.
"About 12 hours, it's around 2am. Ashley and Joe just went to get food," I smiled before letting my dream flow back to me.
"Pete, I need to know what happened," Pete's face contorted into another teary glance, his lip quivering as he forced back tears. His hand met my cheek and he caressed it for a moment.
"You had an overdose, baby," he whispered. I didn't understand.
"How? I..." Pete hushed me.
"I think you accidentally did it," he paused and took my hand with his free one. "The doctor said the double dose of Ativan mixed with your strong dose of inhaler medication nearly killed you," his voice cracked and he closed his eyes tight.
"Pete," I moved my free hand to pick his head up. "That's not all, is it?" I asked. Pete's eyes drifted all over my face.
"Evie," he started. "You died," I blinked profusely before letting a few tears slip from my eyes.
"My dream," I whispered. Pete looked at me.
"What?" he asked. I cupped my hands over his cheeks.
"Pete, my dream...I...felt it all in my dream and...Aiden was...telling me that I had to breathe. That I had to be strong...for you," Pete leaned forward and closed the gap between us and kissed me with all the soul power he had left in his tired heart. He pulled away and let our noses brush.
"Please," he pleaded. "Don't let this ever end,"
I closed my eyes and kissed him again, letting my worries drift away. The door slowly clicked open and I turned to see Ashley holding the door open for Joe who held all the food.
"Oh my god!" she yelped. "You're awake!"
I laughed to my best ability and hugged her as she circled to the other side of me. Joe came in and sat Indian style at the end of my bed, opening a bag of chips.
"Dude," his lisp sounded worse as he shoved one in his mouth. "This is like, all that," he paused and laughed down at the bag. "And a bag of chips!" Pete sighed, shaking his head in a soft laugh. Ashley smacked him lightly before turning to me.
"What he means is that," she cleared her throat. "If you and Pete both can cheat death, then there's hope that Andy really is Jesus!"
I couldn't help but burst out laughing, it ending shortly as I coughed up a load of Flem. Joe frowned and placed his chip back in the bag.
"I lost my appetite," I glared before noticing Pete staring at me, his arms loosely around my waist.
"I bought you something," he whispered. Ashley pulled a face and without me really realizing it, whisked Joe out of the room.
I smiled at him.
"Really?" I asked.
Pete nodded happily.
"Close your eyes," he whispered.
I obeyed and felt his hand move to run a thumb over my knuckles. His hand stayed there while his other moved from my waist and I heard him going though his hoodie pocket, his keys shifting. I honestly couldn't feel anything on my left hand, considering it was all numb from keeping an IV in there, after all, I was probably on a fluid rush.
"Open them," I fluttered my eyes open and did the first thing any girl would do. My eyes flew to my ring finger and my heart became lodged in my throat.
"Pete," I squeaked.
He smiled a twisted and pre-'jumping around crazy' smile.
"I was thinking when we go back to Chicago, you could live with me for a while," he paused. "And then when we get back from Warped Tour," he gulped. "We can get married,"
I felt my heart beating ten times faster than it should have been. Pete smirked as he looked over to the heart monitor and observed it speeding up.
"There's your answer Pete," Remind me that this is the happiest face a man could ever pull.
Pete had just made the silver lining around my cloud of hope, trust and love /golden/.