After the bus breaks down the band must travel to Vegas in a van. Gerard is still thinking about Liv and Ray deception.
"Gee, wake up" Monica gently pushed against his chest. She had been snuggled up next to him. "Jerry just came by to wake us up. Something is wrong with the bus."
Her words were met with a grunt first then "Fucking bus"
She smiled and kissed him, "Yea well we gotta get up. Jerry said they called and a van is coming to take us to Vegas. All the equipment will be shuttled in a moving truck." She scooted out of the bunk and joined Frank, Jamia, Mikey, Alicia and Bob who were already up front.
"Man, we have a curse on us. Fucking busses hate us." Frank yawned, "Every tour this happens."
Jamia looked like she was still sleeping, "Too bad we turned in our rental car. If we still had it we all wouldn't have to cram into a van."
Jerry joined them "All your stuff will come in the moving truck. The van should be here any minute. You guys will all go on to Vegas and I'll stay to make sure everything you need for tonight makes it."
Ray was over at the table making a list of the Vegas itinerary. "On the bright side we only have one interview scheduled and that's not until late afternoon."
Mikey looked over at him, "No signing for the fans?"
Ray shook his head, "Nope they couldn't work out the details. We are staying at Caesars Palace."
Alicia woke up a bit more, "Oh, cool. We'll have time to gamble and shop."
Mikey hugged her, "Uh, I can think of something else we'll have time for."
He kissed her to demonstrate his point.
Gerard stumbled down the hall, his eyes half closed, "Bro, get a fucking room."
He moved to where Monica was standing and put his arm around her.
The van pulled up in front of the disabled bus. They all stepped out into the cold night air moving hurriedly. "Frank, Jamia, Mikey and Alicia in the very back" Ray directed.
"Why do I have to be in the very back seat."? Frank whined.
Ray laughed, "Nine passenger van, dude. Four people in the back so it will be tight. You're so small and Mikey so skinny what do you think."
Frank glared at him, "Unfair dude". However the four of them climbed in without further comment.
"Shotgun" Bob called out.
That left Gerard and Ray in the middle bench seat with Monica between them. As soon as Tom pulled onto the highway most of them fell back asleep. Monica closed her eyes and had just started to drift off; her head against Gerard's shoulder when she realized her was still awake. She looked up him, "Can't fall back asleep?"
He nodded, "Nope, just thinking too much I guess."
"Want to share your thoughts?" She asked. He had so much on his mind she wondered what was on it now that wouldn't allow him to sleep.
Gerard sighed, "Monica if that little girl is mine I don't know what I'll do. It's not that I don't like kids but shit, I really never planned on having any. I know people say that and not really mean it but I do. I never wanted kids of my own. It will be great having Kara and Kelly as stepdaughters but they are almost grown. What the fuck will I do if I have to deal with a little girl?"
"Gee, if she is your daughter you will feel differently."
He shifted in his seat causing her to sit up, "Fuck I hate it when people think that just cause you have a kid it changes how you feel. I don't want a kid, Monica. Maybe I'm just a selfish prick but that's how I feel."
Monica wondered why he felt this way; it was something she honestly couldn't understand. Her kids were everything to her. She knew that now was not the time to question him about his feelings. He had too much going on in his brain. "Gee, try not to worry about this right now. Think about the tour and how much you have been waiting for this."
He lowered himself in the seat so she could lean more comfortably on him, "Yea, I love touring. Fuck I get so keyed up right before we go on and then the lights dim and the crowed comes to life. A feeling comes over me I can't explain."
Monica wrapped her arm around his chest. "I love you Gerard."
He kissed the top of her head, "Love you too."
The van made several stops but Monica slept through all of them. Gerard didn't want to wake her so he stayed put. Around 7:00 am during a stop, Mikey brought his brother a cup of coffee back from the truck stop. Gerard took it from him "Thanks bro"
"No problem. How you doing?' Mikey was worried about Gerard. He could sense when he was upset.
"OK still trying to sort through my feelings." He could see Ray across the parking lot talking to Tom. "Still pissed at Ray but trying not to be."
Mikey took a sip out of his cup, "Gee, try to let it go. Ray did what he did for you."
Gerard's mood was dark, "Maybe, he did, maybe not. Face it Mikey the band is so fucking important to him. What if he didn't tell me cause he was afraid that if I got back with Liv the band would break up."
Mikey looked at him and sputtered, "Fuck Gerard how can you even think something like that? You are more important to all of us than just the lead singer of our band." He sat back in his seat trying not to wake the other who were blissfully sleeping, "That is just a fucking shitty thing to say."
Gerard looked out his window thinking. A moment later he turned in this seat slightly and whispered to Mikey, "Think how Liv must have felt when he told her that. Shit, if the girl is mine just think how that made her feel. The father of her child saying he didn't love her or his child."
"Holy fucking shit, Gee" Mikey exploded causing everyone to stir momentarily. He waited until they all seems to move back into sleep before continuing, "Listen to yourself" he whispered, "Worrying about Liv and her feelings. Tell me when did she worry about you? Was it when you were suicidal? Fuck no it wasn't cause she wasn't there. Was it when we all watched you slowly descend into hell? No she never seemed to be around for that."
Once again Gerard looked out his window not responding. Mikey was still livid. "Gee, get the fuck over her once and for all. She is your fucking past. Look at what you have now. Look at the woman beside you who has been through a hell most of us can't even imagine. She is at your side cause she fucking loves you. Stop being such a stupid fuck.
"Did she ever love me?" Gerard asked so quietly Mikey had to sit up slightly to hear him. His tone was so sad Mikey lost some of his anger.
"Gee does it really matter?"
Gerard sighed, "I just want to know"
Ray and Bob had arrived at the van. As they got in Mikey sat back and closed his eyes. His brother was sinking into a dark place and he didn't know what to do. Should he tell him that he believed Liv had loved him? That he could see it in her eyes but that for some reason she always tried to hide it. He looked over at his brother but he had closed his eyes. Mikey took another sip of coffee and tried to sort out his own feelings.
Monica too was trying to sort out her own feelings. She had listened to the whole conversation. In her heart she knew Gee was hers but this uncertainty about Liv and Elena was tearing at him. She didn't know what to do, how to help him.
They arrived in Vegas just after noon, not bad timing considering the breakdown. Since they were all still wearing their sleeping clothes, mostly sweats and pajama pants they did get some strange looks. Monica thought it was funny that as soon as the woman behind the reception desk realized they were My Chemical Romance she seemed to accept their strange attire as normal. In Monica's opinion Gee should wear his Star Wars pajama pants more often. They were shown to their suites and all parted planning to meet up in Ray's room at 2:30. The interview was at 3:00.
Monica walked into their suite followed by Gerard. He closed the door hanging the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the handle. Before she knew what was happening he had grabbed her and tossed her in the middle of the king size bed. He followed her down.
"Gee you need to get some sleep. I don't think you slept at all in the van."
Truth be told he hadn't but he didn't want her to know. He didn't want her to know all the thoughts that had been going through his mind. "But babe, you promised me some pleasure, remember?" He lifted her hoodie and pulled it over her head then gave it a toss. Her bra followed.
Monica rolled out from under him. "You need to sleep, Gee. You have an interview at 3:00 so you won't have another opportunity." He pulled her on top of him and ran his hands across her bottom. "But Monica" he whined.
She smiled and gave in. She began to nuzzle his neck and plant kisses across his collarbone. Slowly she moved lower and lower down his chest. When she got to his pajama pants she started to slip her fingers under the elastic to lower then when she looked back up at him. His eyes were closed and he was softly snoring.
Authors note - Not really about this chapter but something I just had to pass along. I was listening to a radio interview Gerard and Bob did in New Zealand in Jan. Gerard said that he is shy and can't talk to girls. So they asked Bob if Gerard was hiding something and if he was really good with the girls and Bob said that Gerard could be like Justin Timberlake but that all these girls want to talk to him and he gets really shy and starts to draw and then they just go away cause no chick want to sit around and watch a guy draw a dragon. They asked the guys what questions they don't like to be asked. First Gerard said about his hair. Then they said what about questions about your love life, who are you doing? Gerard said we don't get asked that. So the guy says who are you doing and Gerard says "I'm doing myself. I'm not doing anybody you know what I mean? I have a really wack love life". I fell out of my chair laughing when he said I'm doing myself. Oh and they asked if there is a tape of Gee playing Peter Pan and he said that there is but he hid it and the guy said it will show up on YouTube. Gerard said there was a better chance of him showing up on YouTube riding a horse naked. Oh, man did I get a visual on that one.