Slash. Daniel has some news which will change his and Darren's lives forever. This is a death fic which was inspired by the Matchbox Twenty song of the same name.
Disclaimer: This is pure fiction and none of it really happened. I do not know Darren Hayes or Daniel Jones and, like everyone except their partners, I do not know their true sexuality.
The last night you came over to my house I was so eager to see you; I hadn't seen you for a few days as you'd been away. I opened the door and there you were, looking so hot I wanted to jump you right there and then. You just had time to say hello before I pulled you inside, shut the door, and pushed you against it pressing my body to yours and kissing you passionately. I didn't give you a chance to say anything else.
"I need you Danny!" I said huskily.
The words were superfluous really; I think you could tell how much I needed you! I moved my hand down to your groin, like me, you were so hard already; when we were together, it didn't take much to get either of us in that state!
"Mmm...you need me too I see!"
I smiled longingly and kissed you again, my tongue plunging deep inside your mouth, your tongue tangling with mine.
"I love you...I've missed you so much...come on let's go to bed!" I said lustfully, as I took your hand and tried to lead you towards the bedroom.
I needed you so badly, I thought you needed me, but you were hesitant.
"Dar...babe...we need to talk...!"
"Later...right now I need you to make love to me!" I insisted with another longing smile.
I kissed you and tried again to take you to the bedroom, I felt I needed to have you soon or I would surely burst!
"No babe...we need to talk now...it's important!"
"But Danny...baby...talking's no fun!"
"Darren...please...!" you said earnestly.
I looked at you then; you looked so serious, almost sad. I was worried; what had happened?
"Danny...what is it...what's wrong?"
You looked deep into my eyes for the longest time. Then you took a deep breath and ran your hand through your hair before breathing out again.
"I'm sorry...I need a beer!" you said before heading for the kitchen.
I followed after you; this had to be serious for you to need a beer more than you needed me. Once there, you took a beer from the fridge, opened it, and took a long drink.
"Sit down Dar," you said then.
I sat down at the kitchen table; you drank another mouthful and sat down next to me.
"Danny...please tell me what's wrong...are you sick?"
I was so afraid of what you were going to tell me, it was obviously something very serious.
"No...I'm fine," you insisted.
"Then...what is it?"
You took my hand in yours, and then you took another deep breath and swallowed hard.
"Kathy's pregnant!" you said simply.
I stared at you; I was too shocked to say anything.
"What?" I said finally.
"You heard Dar...Kathy's pregnant!"
"This is a joke, right? Only...it's not funny!"
"I know it's not funny...I'm not joking!"
You finished your beer and went to the fridge to get another.
"Do you want one?"
"No...no I don't! Danny...what...how...?"
I shook my head, I wasn't too sure what I wanted to say, what I wanted to ask.
"You're not that dumb Dar...you know how!"
"Of course I know how...and I'm sure you also know how to prevent it!" I said angrily. "I thought she was on the Pill?"
"She is...but it's not infallible you know!"
"Well she told you she was...Danny...how could you be so fucking stupid?!"
"Darren I'm sorry...it wasn't planned...this is the last thing I wanted!" you said as you came to sit next to me once more.
"I don't believe this!" I said shaking my head.
"I'm still in shock myself...she only told me last night. I have been so worried about telling you, I knew you'd be upset."
"Upset? That's an understatement; I just can't believe that you would allow this to happen! Didn't we always say that we'd be careful; that if we had girlfriends we wouldn't allow this to happen?"
"I know what we said love, but even the best laid plans don't always work out!"
"Is she keeping it?"
"What do you think? You know how anti abortion she is, of course she's keeping it!"
"So you're stuck with a kid whether you like it or not? That's generous of her! Does it have to affect us...our relationship?"
"Don't be naÃ¯ve Dar...of course it's going to affect us...we can't carry on like nothing's happened!"
I sat in silence for a few minutes hardly daring to ask the question I knew I had to ask, I couldn't bear to hear your answer. Eventually I knew I had to ask it.
"So...what does this mean for us?"
The label on your beer bottle suddenly became very interesting as you tried to avoid making eye contact with me.
"Danny...answer me! What about us?"
You eventually looked up at me, were those tears in your eyes? I soon realised that they were.
"I'm sorry babe...it's over!"
I stared at you in disbelief, your words were like a knife through my heart, I felt faint, nauseous.
"Danny...you-you can't mean that!"
Tears were pricking my eyes and my bottom lip was trembling.
"I love you...you love me...you can't mean it!"
"I'm sorry Dar, but I do...it has to be over...she's having my baby...what else can I do? I can't continue seeing you now...it wouldn't be right!"
"But you don't love her!"
"I like her!"
"But you don't love her!" I repeated, almost screaming the words. "You can't give up someone you love for someone you like!"
I could feel panic rising inside me, I knew you wanted to be a father and I could never give you a child. I knew I couldn't compete with her on this, she'd won, and I was losing you; but I loved you so much that I wasn't too proud to beg if I had to.
"Please Danny, don't leave me...please! I love you, I need you...you need me! Please stay, Danny!"
I was trembling; the tears in my eyes had already started to escape down my cheeks. You still had tears in your eyes too and you were struggling to keep them from falling as you tried to be strong; you wiped a couple of stray tears away before they had a chance to fall.
"Sweetheart she needs me too...she needs me more...she's carrying my child...I have to be with her! Please try to understand...this isn't easy for me but I want to do the right thing!"
"The right thing for who...her? Why not do the right thing for the one you love? I'm the one you love...right?"
"Of course I love you, you know that, but it's the right thing for my baby! It's one thing to use Kathy to cover for our relationship but it's quite another to continue doing so now that she's pregnant."
"Are you going to marry her?"
"I don't know...maybe! I'll probably ask her to move in with me anyway."
"So is that it...just like that...it's over?"
"Believe me love, I haven't taken this decision lightly...I didn't sleep at all last night! I don't want to end our relationship but we can't continue being secret lovers now Kathy's having my baby. We can still be friends...if you want?"
"Oh you'll throw me a few crumbs of friendship...thanks!" I said sarcastically. "I don't want to be just your friend...after everything we've been to each other; I don't think I could stand it!"
"I'm sorry babe...I really am...I never meant for this to happen...please believe me...I didn't plan this!"
"Maybe you didn't...but I bet she did!" I said bitterly.
"How can you say that?"
"It's not the dark ages; hasn't she heard of contraception?"
"Of course she has, I've already said she was on the Pill!"
"Yeah...she said she was on the Pill but how do you know for sure she was taking it? If she wasn't taking it, then that's not your fault!"
"It takes two Dar; I can't blame it all on her!"
"I bet she did it deliberately to trap you, women do that all the time!"
"I'm sorry but I'm not going to blame it all on her...maybe you're right but I didn't have to be with her at all if you and I were willing to be more honest about our relationship. If we were both willing to tell everyone that we're lovers then I wouldn't need a girlfriend to cover for us and there wouldn't be any chance of her getting pregnant!"
"Then let's be honest...let's come out!"
I was so desperate to keep you that I would have taken out an ad on national television telling the whole world about our love if it would change your mind and make you stay with me. However, you weren't about to change your mind; you were adamant that she was the one you had to be with.
"It's too late...she's carrying my child and I have to stand by her...I'm sorry love but that's the way it is!"
I couldn't hold back my tears any longer; you came and held me as I sobbed uncontrollably. I clung to you like a child would cling to his mother; I was shaking as sobs wracked my body. Your shirt was soaked from my tears but you didn't let me go, you just held me until, eventually, my tears subsided a little, my heart was breaking. I couldn't stand to let you go, even though I later agreed it was the right thing to do as your child was going to need you and this might be your only chance of being a father. This was so typical of you to want to do the right thing, to do what was expected of you. You always had such good intentions but it didn't make me feel any happier about it.
I looked at you with tears still falling down my cheeks.
"Danny...will you stay tonight...can I have one last night with you...please?"
You wiped the tears from my cheeks and kissed me.
"Of course I'll stay...if you want me to!"
"Of course I want you to stay...I want you to hold me and make love with me all night long!"
"Ok...I'll stay and we'll make love all night...if you think you can manage it!"
I sniffled then smiled weakly.
"Is that a challenge? Of course I can manage it! If I'm only getting one more night with you I don't want to waste any of it sleeping! I want to be inside of you and to feel you inside of me...as many times as possible! I have to show you what you'll be missing!"
You smiled that gorgeous smile of yours then you took my hand and helped me to my feet; you kissed me again and led me to the bedroom.
We had such a great time that night, we both wanted to make it a night to remember, our last night together. I wanted to show you exactly what you would be missing if you really did leave me; I was still hoping that you would change your mind. I did everything that I know you love, especially what she couldn't give you. My hands and my mouth barely left your lips and body all night...I'll never forget it...you were amazing as usual! You said I was too, I wanted to be; I wanted to give you the best time ever. I hoped that it would be good enough to make you change your mind about leaving me.
The next day, I woke up with your arms wrapped lovingly around me, I felt so safe and thought that maybe I had dreamt it after all. I lay with my head on your chest listening to your heartbeat as you slept; I never wanted us to move from the bed, I wanted us to stay like that forever.