Categories > Movies > Newsies > PSYC 15200 Reviews
Dr. Bruce's Human Sexual Behavior class is a hot choice among students at UNO. After all, in a class like that, anything can happen.
"Hey, Brent! Check this out!" My best friend/roommate, Tony, exclaimed as he elbowed me in the side. The two of us were sitting in a huge auditorium along with almost two hundred others students. It was the classroom for Dr. Bruce's Human Sexual Behavior course, a favorite among most students at the University of New Orleans. Wonder why...
"Ow! That fucking hurt, asshole!" I muttered, peering over to see what he was pointing to in our book. "Holy shit! What is that thing?"
"It's a Victorian era device used to keep little boys from having erections in their sleep. See, it goes around his waist, and there are the sharp metal points at the front end so..."
"Blah! I don't want to hear! That's torture!"
"Ooo! And this one has metal pockets to prevent masturbation!"
"La la la, I'm not listening!" I said with my fingers in my ears.
"You look like an idiot, you know."
"I would call you an asshole, but as I said before I'm not listening." Someone cleared his throat behind me.
"Uh, hey." There stood what I was sure had to be God's gift to me (if God gives gifts to gay men). He was about my height with darkly tanned skin and curly dark hair. Oh, and his eyes! Two of the most perfectly shaped, chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen in my life! "Is anyone sitting here?" he asked gesturing to the seat right next to mine.
I looked into his eyes.
He looked into my eyes.
Then I realized he was expecting some form of an answer. "Oh...uh...yeah...I mean no! No one is sitting there." He smiled! Gah, a beautiful smile!
"Something wrong with your ears?"
"No. Why do you ask?"
"...Because you have your fingers in them..."
"Heh. Oh yeah," I replied sheepishly. Smooth. Real smooth. Tony snickered behind me.
"I'm Chad, by the way." He offered his hand which I tenderly shook.
"Hey, Brent! Did you know Graham Crackers were actually invented to decrease masturbation in boys?"
"Would you shut up?" hissed a girl in front of us who then promptly returned to her novel muttering something about immaturity.
"Well aren't we the cheery one?" Tony replied with a snort. She whipped around again with a retort, but was interrupted by a shrill whistle from the front of the auditorium.
"Hello!" a small man stood in front of us. "This is Human Sexual Behavior, and I am Dr. Bruce. In case you haven't noticed, this is a very, very large class. There are at least two hundred and fifty students enrolled. Therefore, I will need you all to be quiet when I am speaking. Even whispering, when done among such a large group, can escalate to shouting."
"Hey, uh...Brent?" I heard a soft whisper in my ear. I turned and was once again met with those eyes. Major swoon.
I cleared my throat, my heart quickening. "Yes?"
"The bookstore was out of the books for this class. Think I could share with you?" With a smile like that he could have whatever he wanted. "Just for now," he assured me.
"Oh, sure." I tried to hide my enthusiasm. It became even harder to do so once I realized that, due to the set up of the desks on the seats, he would have to lean across me slightly in order to see the book. Score!
"I know the bookstore is apparently out of the book for this class and I've been told they won't get more in until at least Monday," Dr. Bruce informed us at the end of class. I silently thanked God, Vishnu, Zeus, and whoever else may be responsible for my sudden fortitude. "So until then, just try to make-do and share with someone around you. For those of you who do have books, try and read the first chapter before we meet on Wednesday."
And with that, our first class had ended. This meant Mr. Beautiful was leaving. My heart deflated ever so slightly.
Chad stood and grabbed his school bag. "So I guess I'll be seeing you, huh?" he asked flashing me a smile.
"Uh, yeah. Be seeing you. Later." I stood and watched as he walked through the throng of students out the door. I may or may not have been salivating.
"'Lo? Think you could stand aside and let those of us who aren't ogling other students to leave out?" Tony yanked me out of my trance with a small shove.
"Shut up," I groaned.
"Seriously, do you think you could've been any more obvious?" He shook is head in amusement. "I especially loved how your hand 'accidentally' landed on his thigh. 'Oh, how stupid of me! I thought that was my leg!'" he mocked in a falsetto voice.
"I so do not sound like that, ass."
"You lucked out though. That one's so freaking oblivious, I don't think he'd notice you had a crush on him even if you bluntly groped him!"
"You think?" I asked hopefully.
"Think what? That you could get away with groping him? I mean, I wasn't suggesting it or anything."
"No! Do you think he noticed that I was..." What was the best word to describe it?
"Infatuated with him?" Tony finished with a smirk. "No, I'm pretty sure your secret is safe."
I sighed in relief.
"You know," he began as the two of us exited the Administration Building, "I think this is going to be one hell of a class."