Categories > Cartoons > G.I. Joe > G. I. Joe - The Jersey Devil Encounter

Chapter 01

by Wolfman769 1 Reviews

Three Joes go out into the back woods of New Jersey for a hunting trip, and end up facing a three hundred year old legend up close.

Category: G.I. Joe - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Horror - Characters: Other - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2005/09/17 - Updated: 2005/09/18 - 2767 words


  • G. I. Joe - The Jersey Devil Encounter

    (#) ApplePie 2005-09-26 09:02:17 PM

    Interesting premise, I keep picturing the X Files episode...
    If you're going to have an original character, how about some physical description? Don't assume that we've read other stories with them in it.
    The only other thing I would say is tone down the phoenetic spelling of the owner's speech. It's hard to read. Then after sounding like a hick, he suddenly says, "We shall see." A bit jarring.

    Author\'s Response: You're absolutely right about the physical description. This was technically not Crypto's first appearance, and I've been stingy on the descriptions because I thought I was starting to sound repetititve to myself as I proofread my work.Thank you for pointing out the glaring switch in the hick's language. Not being one myself, I do have to practice the right balance there.Actually, the fan fiction for me is just a crucible in which I shake out my style... to find that happy medium that will make my real manuscripts nearly perfect.Thanks for the review!

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