The Band has a full day but Gerard's throughts are still in the past.
Gerard sat up and tried to clear his thoughts, "Uh, sorry I guess I was daydreaming," he said slowly standing. He walked by Ray moving towards the front of the bus.
Ray caught up with him, "So what do you think about Franks news?" he asked.
"It's great. I think Frank will be a great dad" They had reached the spot where the others had already gathered so he added, "Can't you just see a little Ireo bouncing off the walls stuffing Skittles in his mouth."
Frank threw one of the pillows from the sofa at him before he was done speaking. "Oh Gee you are so funny. So is Uncle Jiggy gonna be supplying him with the Skittles?"
"Fuck yea. Every one knows you can't give a kid enough candy."
Bob looked at them "Uh, you know it could be a girl"
Gerard laughed, "Oh that is even better. I'll have to break up with Monica when she is old enough so I can date her." He looked at Frank, "So Frank can I date your daughter? I promise I'll have her home at a decent hour."
Another pillow was launched. Jerry had to shout to get their attention, "OK guys. Can we get our minds back at the business at hand?" He glanced down at the papers in his hand. You guys have only one interview and then you have a signing at the Best Buy. After that the rest of the day belongs to you until sound check.
"When is the interview?" Ray asked looking down at his watch. It was just after 8:30.
"We need to leave in about ten minutes." Jerry told him. The signing is scheduled for noon. They are expecting a large crowd so don't think you are getting a whole lot of time off afterwards. Now lets get ready." He folded his papers and stated off for the van.
The guys all took off to change. Mikey was watching Gerard closely. He had a strange look on his face. "Hey, Gee have you talked to Monica this morning?'
"No I was gonna call her but Frank had my Sidekick. That's how he finally got a hold of Jamia. I'll give her a call this afternoon when we have some time off."
Mikey laughed, "Yea, we both know how that time off will go. We'll probably be signing for hours."
Gerard nodded, "Yea but ain't it great that so many fans will wait for that? Think back five years ago. The only people who would have wanted out autographs were family members. Man, it's been a strange ride hasn't it?"
"A strange ride that is still going. Come on, we don't want Jerry to come back in to get us. You know how fucking pissed he gets if we're late."
Gerard pulled on his hoodie and followed Mikey to the van. The others were already waiting. Frank had his phone pressed against his ear talking to Jamia. He was once more reassuring her that everything would be fine. "Oh and if we have a girl Gee has already asked if he can date her." He held the phone away from his ear when she answered.
Gerard started laughing, "I take it that's a no?" He smiled. "Hey, tell Jamia I love her and she's gonna be a great mom."
Frank relayed the message. "Jamia says thank you and she loves you."
Gerard leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept well after taking to Monica. Having her moan his name had been a bad idea. The intense desire he felt when she had made sleep impossible. He had grabbed his sketchbook and drawn random things. After that he had worked on a few song ideas.
"You tired?" Bob asked him leaning over the seat. "I know I am. I called Kara and we ended up talking for over an hour. I feel bad cause it was so early in the morning for her but she really wanted me to call and shit, I really just wanted to hear her voice."
Gerard smiled, "Yea, isn't it weird how hearing someone's voice can mean so much? At first I thought I would just text Monica but fuck that's just not enough. I need to hear her."
"I'm glad Monica called the school and told them what's going on with that fucking psycho Jenn. Kara said that the principal told her that if she or Kelly see her again they'll call the police."
Gerard turned in his seat. "See her again? You mean she was at their school?" He was shocked Monica hadn't told him.
Bob realized he had said something he shouldn't have. "Uh, yea. Kelly said that she was in front of the school looking around."
"Did she say anything to Kelly?" Gerard asked
Bob shook his head; "No Kelly was late for class so she didn't stop. Hey Gee don't get worked up over this. Kara is watching out for Kelly and so is the school."
"So why the fuck didn't Monica tell me?" he took out a cigarette lighting it quickly.
"Probably cause she knew you would react like this. Monica worries about you, Gee. I'm sure she just didn't want to add any more stress on you." Bob sat back in his seat wishing he had kept his mouth shut.
Gerard was muttering to himself. "I'm not a fucking child. She shouldn't keep things from me."
Ray had been listening to the conversation, "Hey, mellow dude. The woman loves you and was just trying to do what she thought was best for you."
"I understand that Ray" Gerard was angry, "But shit, I hate that she thinks I can't handle this. Am I that messed up?"
Ray hated to answer, "Gee, we've all noticed the stress your under. You snap at us one minute then the next you seem OK. Face it being on tour has enough stress to begin with then add all the shit with Liv and Monica's sister-in-law. That adds up."
Gerard leaned his head back again. There was something he needed to ask Ray but it would have to be later. They had arrived at the radio station. He tried to clear his mind and think only about the tour.
After the interview, on the way to the signing, Gerard deliberately sat by Ray in the van. Frank was once more on his phone talking to Jamia, Mikey was playing a game on his PSP and Bob had closed his eyes and was snoring. He looked over at Ray. "Remember the night before Liv disappeared? We were at that party at Simons."
Ray was caught off guard by the question. "Yea, I was there." he answered wondering where this was going.
"Did you talk to Liv at all?" Gerard asked.
Ray nodded, "Yea, I think so. I mean shit Gee that was years ago."
"I know, it's just been on my mind. She was so different that night. So..."
Ray broke in "So unbitchy, so un-Liv-like?" He hated it when Gerard talked about her.
Gerard glared at him. "She wasn't always a bitch, Ray."
"No I would say only 99% of the time." He knew Gerard would be pissed but he couldn't help it.
"OK so I spent years with a woman that my friends fucking hated. I get it Ray." He turned to look out the window. The bright sunlight warmed his face but inside he felt cold.
Ray sighed, "Gee we all hated her because of the way she treated you. It just seemed to us that the meaner she was to you the more you tried to please her. You did anything she wanted. When she wanted to get high, well shit, you got high too. When she wanted to drink herself into oblivion so did you. It was hard to watch."
"I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't get this shit out of my mind. That last night she and I spent together she was so different. She only had one drink and didn't want anymore. She fucking acted like she loved me and I really thought things had changed. How fucking stupid was I? She left the next morning without a word. Fucking left me alone."
"But you weren't alone, Gerard. We were all there for you. We stayed with you while you tried to drown your pain in alcohol. We were there when you tried to erase her from your mind with the drugs. You've never been alone. You're not alone now. Wake the fuck up and look at your life. Monica doesn't deserve this or will it turn out for her that one morning she will wake up and you'll be gone?"
"I would never fucking leave Monica." Gerard hissed.
"You are already leaving her, Gee. If you can't get your mind once and for all off Liv then each day you will pull away from her a little more. She deserves all of your love, not just the part you are willing to give. She deserves all of your thoughts, not just the ones not monopolized by memories of Liv" The van stopped and Ray hurried to get out.
Rays words sunk in. Gerard got out of the van and pulled his Sidekick out of his pocket. He hit Bert's number waiting impatiently for him to answer. When he did Gerard spoke quickly, he had to catch up with the rest of the band "Bert I want to talk to Liv. Fuck what Brian and Stacy say. Tell her that I will be by to see her in a few days when we get back to Jersey."
Authors Note - Sorry the print on this is different but I wrote this chapter at my store not my computer at home.