(#) KyokoNaruko 2007-03-17AHHHH!!!! THAT WAS SOOO CUTE!! I love the cliffhanger-style ending!! It just makes you wanna go and write more!! lol It was a really good job!! Are you ever gonna write more of it?? Let me know!!
Author's responseah... no, sorry, i don't think that i'm going to continue this fic into something more --although i really love how much you enjoyed it! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
but back to my point: this fic was spawned by a random plot bunny that attacked me and i don't think that i could continue it if i tried. Also, what i've noticed with other fics that end in a similar style and continue is that i feel less satisfied about reading it, and i don't want to do that to my readers.
all in all, thank you SO much for reviewing! it really made my day! ^^
(#) des_butterfly 2007-03-20Actually, I think you did quite well with it. The Naruto-voice might be a little off, but it's not OOC. The writing is good, and you end on a poignant note, which is awesome and something a lot of writers forget to do and then let the story fade out weakly.
I think you should be proud of it. Good job. ^_^
Author's responsereally? Thank you! (coming from an author i really look up to this is SUCH a boost to my microscopic ego. I think that you might be able to actually SEE it now --if you sit upside-down, squint, and look through an aquarium(sp?)...) ^_^''''
Really? His voice is off? Shoot. Well, can you pinpoint what it is that's off about it? If you can, that would be super helpful. Thanks for alerting me to that ^^
(#) des_butterfly 2007-03-21Mm, I think it's just little things, that are easily fixed if you wanted to. Like Naruto calling Sasuke "emo" even though it's probably not a word that would hold much meaning for ninjas. I mean, do the Hidden Villages even have "emotional hardcore" or those kinds of moderns classifications of teens? So that kind of threw me off, but not that much.
And, this might just be a personal style point for me, but I found that capslocking words for emphasis comes off as really jarring to me. I would italicize them instead, just because you have so many emphasized words, but that's just me.
In any case, I did enjoy the story very much and I think you did a good job with it.
Author's responseyeah, i really wanted to italicize them, but the story wouldn't upload from word like that, so i either had to forgo the accent completely or capitalize the words
yeah, okay, that makes a lot of sense. I've never really thought about it before now, but i can see what you mean about the whole 'emo' thing.
Thanks again for your advise, it was really helpful! ^^
(#) BrokenSoul 2008-04-02Wow...it really makes you feel like a situation that could happen in the story. (not that it would because i don't think the author of naruto would write shounen-ai ^_^') But I think that you did a good job on it and the ending wasn't like..'okay, it ended' it was like 'wow, did i read that correctly?' go you.
Sign up to review this story.