wait. Patrick did what now?
Part fourteen: I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
Destiny woke up the next day, the sunlight hitting her face on the couch. She sat up slowly, groaning against the pounding in her head. She felt her stomach acids churn and turned quickly to a strategically placed trash can and emptied her sickness into it. She groaned again as she wiped her mouth. The last thing she remembered was Patrick calling her a bitch and leaving. She hiccupped and shook her head, how did she get here?
"Morning," she heard a groggy voice say from the kitchen. She nodded at Joe, who was sleepily grabbing pop tarts from the cupboard.
"Joe? How did I get here?" she asked her throat dry and scratchy. Joe laughed, approaching her with some Motrin and a glass of water.
"Well, after Patrick left, you proceeded to drink anything you could find and I'm pretty sure you blacked out somewhere. You don't remember anything?" Joe said, a smile playing on his face.
"Oh god, I do not like that look," she said, sitting up slowly. "The last thing I remember was Patrick calling me a bitch, after that, nothing comes to mind," she said. Joe smiled more and shook his head.
"So you don't remember giving Charlie that lap dance and listing everything that was wrong with Pete and how much you thought he was an overrated, talentless hack?" he said. Destiny's eyes widened.
"Oh my god, please, fucking tell me you're kidding," she said. Joe shook his head.
"I'm pretty sure Pete was blaming it on your blood alcohol content, because he asked that you call him sometime today," he said.
"Shit," she muttered...
A few minutes later, Marie emerged and took one look at the green color of Destiny's face and grabbed her a piece of toast before going to sit by her.
"Hey," she said watching Destiny wearily take a nibble of the bread. "Pete has a DJ gig somewhere tonight, want to go? It will be the last time you get to see Patrick if you want to," she said. Destiny nodded. She really, really wanted to see Patrick. She wanted to apologize and try to see if she could make things right again. This whole thing was making her crazy. Her and Patrick weren't meant to be apart, they were meant to be in each other's lives. She needed to fight for him.
"Yeah, I definitely want to go."
Patrick sighed as he pulled the car into the driveway and he stared up at his front door. A six hour flight couldn't get Destiny out of his mind. Just the mere thought of her name, sent his stomach into flurries. And each time, he shook his head, turning his Ipod up louder, hoping the music would drown his thoughts out, but each song only added to his heartbreak. It seemed that his Ipod was going through the same feelings, playing every heartbreaking song he had downloaded into the little machine.
And now, he was finally home, sitting in silence in front of his house, thinking. Thinking about Destiny, and how she had betrayed him. Thinking about Anna, and how she willingly let four years go. Could he not be loved? Was there a sign on his back that he was unaware of that said 'UNLOVABLE'?
He sighed and turned off the car, opening the door to the bitter Chicago cold, which only added to his miserable feeling. He hated having to smile like nothing was wrong. He hated knowing that he was going to be in another country in a few days, and he had no choice but to suck it up, strap on his guitar, and perform. This is why Destiny was getting to him more than he liked. With Anna, he dove himself into his craft, perfecting the already flawless. With Destiny, he wanted to sit in his room, in the dark, watching re-runs of The Beverly Hillbillies with his cell phone off.
And he hated her for it. He hated her for distracting him. He hated her for being a slut. He hated her for being with Andy. He hated her for telling him he would never be loved because he would always put music first. He hated that she was right.
Patrick walked, shivering to the door and watched his shaking hand slide the key into the hole, turning it and opening the door, welcoming the warmth, and the eerie silence. He swallowed hard. Something was telling him that something big was going to happen. It was like a monkey on his back, and it bothered him, but he shook it off, dropping his bag on the floor by the door, kicked off his shoes and walked into the living room.
He looked around at all the new stuff in his house. He had more than he could have ever asked for, materially. A big television, entertainment center, expensive furniture, good china...but he wasn't happy. Happiness fucked his drummer. Yes, he was cynical. Why shouldn't he be? He was betrayed by his best friend and his girlfriend. And neither of them cared.
With a huff, he sat down on the couch, and stared at the blackness of the television and let his mind wander over the past month. His life had turned upside down, and no one gave him a hand.
His phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he let out a frustrated sigh as he pulled it out and saw who it was. Patrick rolled his eyes and put the phone to his ear.
"Dude, you busy?" Pete sounded upset, as usual. Patrick looked around the empty, uneventful living room.
"Yes." he lied.
"Fuck." Pete breathed out defeated.
Patrick shut his eyes, now feeling bad. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's nothing." Pete replied, his voice jittery.
Patrick picked at his shoe. "What's wrong?" He asked again.
Patrick heard Pete sigh, and knew there was going to be a long story involved. "Jeanae and I broke up."
Patrick scoffed. "Again?" He didn't mean for it to come out that way.
Yes he did.
Pete was taken aback. "W-What?" he stuttered, wondering if he heard his friend right.
"What? You act like this is something new. What did you do this time? Or who did she sleep with? Did you not call her earlier? Is she flaking again? Come on Pete, tell me. What is the new development this time?" Patrick felt his anger rise.
Pete stared at his phone in shock. "Patrick, I--"
Patrick cut him off. "You know, you think you're the only one in this band with a fucking problem. Well guess what Pete, you're not. You're not the only one staying awake at night thinking about shit. You're not the only one in this band going through a tough time. But you don't give a shit about that do you? You don't care because it doesn't involve you. It's not you're concern so you don't bother with it."
Pete was silent, so Patrick continued.
"Want to know what I've been doing? Nothing. Want to know why? Because the girl I loved with all my heart, is gone. Both of them. G-O-N-E. You act like you have some superiority over everyone because the girl you've been fucking for the past four years keeps going back to you. And then you want to bitch and complain every time you break up again like it wasn't already inevitable. So you calling me to whine that 'the girl you love' hates you is useless, because I am done caring about it. I'm done caring about you and this stupid bullshit you pull every time. Take another pill and get the fuck over it."
Patrick hung up the phone in a violent huff and threw it down next to him. What had gotten into him? His rage was boiled over now. He was beyond the point of calm. His phone buzzed again next to him and without looking at the ID, he answered it, thinking it was Pete again.
"What now? You need a ride to the pharmacy?" He growled into the phone.
"...Patrick?" the familiar voice cooed through the phone, startling him.
With his eyes wide, staring at his reflection in the television, Patrick lowered his voice.
"Yeah...Is everything okay?" She asked, her voice sounding concerned.
"Yeah...yeah, no I thought...I thought it was...never mind. Uh...why...I mean...um...what...why did you call me?" Patrick stuttered. He thought he was never going to speak to her again after they had broken up, and here she was on his darkest day he had since they ended.
He heard her sigh. "Patrick....listen, are you busy? I kind of want to stop by and talk."
Again, Patrick looked around the empty living room. "No...No I'm not...I'm not busy. Sure...Yeah...come on by..."
Anna's smile shone through the phone. "Okay. I'll be there in a few...Pookie Pants." She hung up the phone in a giggle, and Patrick smiled for the first time today. It had been so long since he had been called that. Destiny wasn't one for pet-names. He sat, relishing in the old familiarity oh her voice, before realizing she was coming over and darted to the bathroom to make himself some what presentable, and, well, not heart-broken.
About half hour later, his doorbell rang, and he jumped from his position in the kitchen. He stared at the clock at the wall, and watched the second hand almost stop. He pushed himself off the counter, and hurried to the door, but stopped himself as he lay his hand over the knob, calming himself down. Not wanting to seem desperate to see her. But he was. And he didn't know why
He slowly opened to door and his heart immediately warmed as he saw her standing there, smiling back at him. Patrick moved to the side to let her in, taking her coat as she looked around the foyer.
"Nice digs." she smiled.
"Eh, it's not much. You should see Joe's apartment. It's way better than this place. And it's an apartment." He joked, trying to find why he was so nervous all of a sudden. Patrick led them into the living room and watched her sit upon the sofa, and followed her movements.
"So, you guys are home. How are things?" Anna asked, realizing the awkwardness that came with a year of separation.
"It's going well. About the best it's been, pretty much ever. How are you?" Patrick shifted, turning his body toward her.
Anna nodded. "I'm getting by. I actually was cleaning through some stuff yesterday, and I found some of your things that I thought you would want." she said as she outstretched a shopping bag to him. Patrick opened it to find an old hat, one he thought he had lost, and an old t-shirt, that probably wouldn't fit him this time.
He smiled and placed the bag down on the floor beside him, and looked up to her. "Thanks." Anna nodded. "But I'm sure that's not the only reason you came by."
Anna sighed, and looked to his shoes. "No. No its not...Patrick, I.....I miss you. A lot. I miss how we used to be. It was crazy and demanding, but I miss that. I miss being able to wake up and get a phone call from you. I miss being able to wake up next to you. I miss going to the movies, and doing stupid dinner dates, and singing karaoke at Pete's house. I miss us." She finally looked up at him. Patrick was startled. He never expected that to come from her.
"I'm sorry about not being more understanding about everything. I should have been, I should have been there more. This is who you are, this is what you want to do. I should have understood that."
Patrick looked at her. His heart was making a wrong turn. He could feel it, but he couldn't stop it from spreading the words to his mouth, avoiding the filter in his brain. "I miss you , too..." he whispered, hoping she wouldn't hear, but she did. She reached out her hand to his, at first covering it, then getting bolder and lacing their fingers together, smiling.
"I forgot how perfect we fit together."
Patrick smiled tightening his grip on her hand as she inched her way closer to him. They're faces were only inches apart. Patrick swallowed hard. He knew where this was going. He knew they were going to be doing something very wrong in a matter of minutes. Part of him wanted to stop it all, and get her out of his house. But the other part of him thought about what she had said. They did fit perfect together. It was so natural. So unique in its own way, but so right.
"Anna, I..." Patrick began looking down at her. Anna shook her head, leaning her head over to his, pressing her lips to his, both their tongues crashing together, their heads tilting for better access. As Anna moved, the tip of her nose hit Patrick's glasses, making them tilt and giggled as Patrick mumbled something about it. Her hands found their way to his head where she threw his hat off and crammed her hands into his hair, already giving him sex hair. Patrick emitted a soft moan from the back of his throat and Anna shivered upon feeling Patrick's cold hands wrap around her back and up the back of her shirt....
...No, I never had to give up of holding onto you