This is the longest, most drama filled, shit hitting the fan chapter ever. EVER! gah. this took forever for me to get right. But you are going to flip.
Each note that hit my ears reminded me of how much I missed the sound of music. But it just wasn't music to me. It was words that stung my heart, knowing they were directed at me; that "one mystery woman". And with the pain of words comes the tears of memories, memories of some years ago, pushed right into one song. It hurt, and I'm sure it would have hurt more if Pete was there to see the tears streaming down my face.
"Evie," I blinked hard and looked over at Andy as Patrick pressed stop on one of their demos.
"What?" I asked; my voice a little more fragile than expected. Andy reached over and wiped his thumb under my eye, taking some of my smudged eyeliner from the day before with it.
"You're crying," I took a shaky breath as Patrick stared at me intently and nodded.
"I know," I whispered. Andy's expression took on one of confusion.
"Why?" he asked in a whisper. I gulped and lowered my head, closing my eyes.
"Best friends, X-friends till the end, better off as /lovers/," I repeated, remembering it from the song.
"And?" Patrick asked. I lifted my head up and slightly glared.
"I told Pete that," Patrick blinked a couple of times.
"And not the other way around," Andy and Patrick each took one of my hands.
"We're enemies now, it seems," I whispered, trying to keep my breathing leveled. Patrick looked grim.
"The wedding is in less than a week," I gulped.
"Saturday," I mumbled, taking my hands back to wipe them over my face. "And I can't believe I let Adine talk me into being her maid of honor," Andy shook his head.
"This is complete bull-shit, why hasn't anyone tried to stop any of this?" I looked at him as he started to grow a small angry frown. Patrick shrugged.
"We could always plot to sabotage the wedding," I cut him off.
"Please don't," I whispered. Andy and Patrick both stared at me.
"Why? You and I both know you and Pete belong together," Patrick paused. "No matter how much shit you've both been through, it's true," I rolled my eyes.
"I know," I muttered. "But don't do that to Pete," I gulped. "Don't do that to Adine," Andy knitted his eyebrows together.
"I am so confused on why you are letting two people that don't need to be married, get married," Patrick nodded.
"I bet you anything Adine's not even pregnant," I frowned.
"I was with her at her 3 month check-up, she is," Andy shook his head either way.
"So you're letting yourself get hurt," My shoulders relaxed and I looked away.
"If that's the only way to get back to being my normal self, with no temptation included, then so be it," Patrick and Andy shared a look before staring at me.
"You do realize that Pete's still going to be Pete," Patrick muttered. I nodded.
"He's gonna try and mess with you again," Andy added. I shook my head.
"I won't let him," The door opened and all our heads snapped over to where Joe and Pete were walking in with food for the rest of the day.
"Plane tickets have been bought and we will be on our way home tonight," Pete spoke, an unusually sized smile gracing his face. I sighed and grabbed the ticket as he handed me mine and began to skim over it.
"But this is for Arizona," I mumbled. Andy raised his eyebrow, but Pete spoke up before anybody (including me) could snap.
"I thought maybe since we were here in California, that you could go home for a little while then be up in time for the wedding," I felt my lungs start to contract with pain and anger combined. I clenched my teeth and felt my eyes dilate. Joe gulped at looked down at me.
"I had nothing to do with this," he mumbled. I stood up and grabbed my things.
"I don't care," I whispered. I stared at Pete as his smile fell. "You think you're doing the right thing by sending me to the one place I tried so many times to escape?" I asked. Pete's eyes lowered.
"Maybe," I rushed past him, knocking shoulders as well.
Trying to remember a place I only visited in my dreams was like trying to remember that night I lost my first child, little no-name. It was only for a little while that we referred to him as Petey Jr, though that was short lived after we stopped talking. The thoughts in my mind started to cloud and I felt my lungs contract as I glanced over the grave again, the only vivid memory in my mind that very morning.
"Marry me," he had said to me, the only time in my life I can remember Pete being at his most vulnerable.
And to have thought if I had ignored that phone call and just had have told him I was so ready for that, we probably wouldn't be in this spot. Things would have turned out differently and I wouldn't be on the edge of a mental and physical breakdown.
The sun hung in high noon, clouds producing more shadows on the ground that any Arizonan would call abnormal. But I just sat there and stared at the granite stone, trying to place myself back two or three years ago, back when Pete came all the way down here to try and steal me away. We wine and dined and fell in love again, but with silly mistakes, and my stubborn ass, we lost each other.
And now all I had to look forward to was standing in a creamy yellow brides mate dress while I watched the one love of my life get married to some hoe.
It made me want to literally just end my life ahead of time, because I knew for a fact, watching him walk out of my world for good would push me off the edge of the cliff and straight into a depression I wouldn't get myself out of. And there was only the slight feeling of jealousy as I knew each one of my friends was happy, together with their lovers.
I had four days to brace myself until Saturday came crashing down on everything I had tried to hard to protect, and tried so hard to keep away from the one person I loved; my heart.
The tightness of my tie didn't matter the moment three of my best friends entered the back room for the groom's side of the wedding party. The looked I received were harsh, and almost broke me down.
"What?" I asked, glancing at Patrick as he lowered his head and frowned. Andy looked angry with that question.
"Do you even realize what you are about to do?" he asked. I blinked.
"Well, yeah," I laughed uneasily. "I'm getting married to the woman I love," Patrick twisted his mouth to one side.
"That's a lie," he muttered. I felt confused.
"What are you talking about?" I questioned. Joe cleared his throat.
"Pete, you do realize Evie is here, right?" I raised an eyebrow and nodded, trying to get myself out of this conversation. This was a touchy subject.
"Of course, Adine wanted her apart of the wedding party," Andy sighed.
"You're going to break her apart when you say 'I do' you know," I swallowed the bad taste that started to develop in the back of my throat.
"I know," I whispered. Patrick snapped his head up.
"And do you even care she's not going to be able to handle it?" he hissed. I turned back to the mirror and pushed some of my bangs into my face, rather than away.
"She's gonna have to get used to the idea of me and Adine together," Each one of their faces fell and suddenly I realized where this was heading. Patrick stood up and exited the room, not looking at all happy with what I had just said. Joe crossed his arms and looked away.
"You really are just as bad as Evie says you are," he mumbled, shaking his head. I finished tying my tie and grabbed for my suit jacket.
"Does it matter? We won't matter after I'm married," Andy narrowed his eyes.
"Then prepare to be alone for the rest of your life, Pete," I scoffed as I began walking to the door leading to the bathroom. "Because if you do this, I can guarantee you that Evie won't be around to tell you that you were perfect in her eyes," I paused as my hand curled around the handle.
"If you do this Pete," Joe started. "Evie will never be herself," I shook my head and walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.
"She'll be fine," I muttered to myself. "And in an hour I'll be fine too." I looked down at my hands. "And married,"
My grip on the dresser was unbearable as I felt my body being jerked around as Izzy and Ashley both tugged at the ties of the corset that tied our dresses together.
"Keep the cleavage up, she says," Ashley muttered, as she tugged once more. I widened my eyes.
"Ok, I know you don't really like Adine, but you don't have to take it out on me," Ashley laughed and when I realized they were done, I stood up and turned to face the rest of them all tied up and cleavage well presented.
"Oh lord, I never thought I could push up my breasts this high," Izzy mumbled, glancing down at herself. Jenn laughed and I sighed, sitting back down at the vanity and began to pick at the cream colored roses in the bouquet I had. Ashley sat next to me and glanced at me for a while.
"What's up in that hair-sprayed head up yours?" I smirked before letting out an exaggerated sigh.
"I'm just not sure if I'm ready to witness this kind of thing," I glanced up to see Izzy sharing a knowing glance with Jenn.
"This is going to be the saddest day in all of our lives," Jenn mumbled. I softly sniffed, and padded my pinky to the corner of my eye.
"Why?" I asked; my voice cracking. Jenn frowned.
"We have to watch one of our best friends have her heart broken and some hoe steal Peter fucking Wentz away from the world," Izzy giggled softly and I let a small smile slip through.
"I'm so not ready for this,"
I had opened my mouth to say those exact things when we all heard Adine coming from the bathroom in her dress that exaggerated the fact she had no boobs. Izzy let out a small smirk and Adine glanced up. "What?" she asked. She shook her head and Adine shrugged, sitting down on a stool, as she picked at the straps, trying to hard to produce cleavage like the rest of us.
"I'm just gonna, uh," I paused as I stood up. "Go check the hall to see if they are ready," I mumbled, as Jenn and Ashley hesitantly went to help Adine make her self up.
I felt sick to my stomach and had to get out of that room, staring at the one woman that was supposedly going to make Pete a happy husband, and eventually a happy father. As soon as I stepped out into the hall however, I was faced with Pete himself and I'm sure the reason both of us took a step back was because of our breaths leaving our bodies.
"Oh," Pete mumbled. I looked away as soon as possible and gulped.
"I was just stepping out to see if we were ready to start," Pete shrugged and looked right over my shoulder and let his eyes bore into the thick wood of the door I had just stepped through.
"How is she?" Pete asked. I glanced up at him quickly to see a small smile plastered right onto his expression. I straightened myself out and let out a sigh before forcing a smile.
"She's good," I gulped. "She can't wait to be married to you," My voice softened, and broke at the end as I felt my eyes glaze over. Pete didn't seem to notice as his smile grew even more.
"Yeah, I'm excited too," I closed my eyes for a brief moment before reaching up to push some of his bangs away. Pete frowned softly, but I forced an even bigger smile than before.
"I'm so happy for you, Pete," I whispered, knowing the tears were going to start coming any minute now. Pete seemed to be completely confused by this outburst.
"Really?" he asked, placing his hand over mine that rested on his cheek. I nodded and forced another small smile.
"You are finally getting everything you ever wanted out of life," Pete seemed to know where I was going with this. "You are getting married," I gulped. "And in about 6 months you'll have your first born kid," I hiccupped and Pete smiled.
"Yeah, I know," he mumbled.
This hurt more than I imagined.
"And the band, just think how proud your mom must feel to have given birth to such an amazing man," Pete's cheeks gave off a red tint before he slightly frowned.
"Everything you don't have," he whispered. My breath hitched and I tore my hand away before turning away from him.
"I don't mean it like that," I spoke in a soft voice.
Pete reached out to comfort me and I shook my head, pushing at his chest, moving him further down the hall, where he was to meet the rest of the guys, so the ceremony could begin. Pete creased his eyebrows together before looking me up and down and hugging me tightly to his chest.
"Thank you for being my /best friend/, Ev," I felt my chest shake with a rattling sob but swallowed it, and instead let out a small nervous laugh.
"Yeah," I whispered.
As soon as we parted, he was gone and I felt my mind completely blank as entered the room again. Izzy was the first to notice my blank expression and took a deep breath.
"I think it's time we got this thing going,"
Adine smiled brightly and I remembered to fake that perfect smile I had trained myself to do over the last week. I breathed in deeply as I walked ahead of her, Izzy, Ashley and Jenn behind me with Adine picking up the rear. I closed my eyes for a moment as when I opened them, I was right at the entrance to the church, Patrick staring right back at me.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
I shrugged and with one simple movement, I reached out and we linked arms, and I faced the 40 odd some people picked to witness the wedding, while there were almost 300 to be at the reception. All were turned in their seats, just watching as the maid of honor (me) and the best man (Patrick) walked down that flower covered aisle that Alex had covered. Even she knew something was off, knowing that a different woman was marrying Pete. He stood at the altar already, just watching as his friends filed in slowly and with each stare he gave me and each step I took, my heart broke a little more.
And once Adine was standing next to him, I swear I would have fainted if there was not an air vent right above me. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at my girls that stood next to me and took a shaky breath as Izzy's hand curled around my elbow. The priest took a deep breath and I held mine as he began to speak.
"We are gathered here today in the face of this company, to join together Peter and Adine in matrimony; which is an honorable and solemn estate and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly. Into this estate these two persons present come now to be joined,"
I suddenly felt dizzy and began to slightly sway as Pete glanced over at us the same time Joe glanced over and raised an eyebrow. I gulped and forced a smile before shaking off Izzy's hand. She eyed me with a suspicious look, but instead, I stood up straighter and kept my best foot forward. The priest turned to Pete and his attention went back to where he should really be.
"Peter, do you take Adine for your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?"
Izzy's hand slipped into my elbow once more just in time for me to widen my eyes at the countdown. Pete smiled and glanced at Adine as she giggled softly and he nodded.
"I do," I cringed and looked away, only to glance down at everyone who was witnessing this.
Mama Wentz glanced up at the same time and her expression softened as she noticed me standing there, probably knowing my heart was slowly collapsing and a cardiac arrest was well on its way. A silent tear fell down my face and I decided to not brush it away, as it might draw attention. The priest turned to Adine and she flushed with brightness.
"Adine, do you take Peter for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?" Adine didn't waste time to glance at Pete or anybody before she nodded with the biggest devious grin I had ever seen.
"I do," Izzy's hand tightened and I glanced at her to see her face contorting into a glare.
I looked over at the boys to see Patrick holding the same look, while Andy's hand tightened up into a ball out of eyeshot of anybody in the pews of the church. I gulped, knowing something was wrong with this picture. The priest turned back to Pete and began to speak through him to Adine.
"I Peter take thee Adine to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, 'til death do us part," I gulped as Patrick and Andy shared a look and Andy nodded. Izzy glanced down at me and turned her head to examine my profile.
"Don't pay attention to them," she whispered. I ignored her and tightened my grip on my bouquet as the priest turned to Adine now.
"I Adine take thee Peter to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, 'til death do us part," I suddenly felt even more dizzy than before as the priest nodded to Patrick and took the ring from him.
"May this ring be blessed so he who gives it and she who wears it may abide in peace, and continue in love until life's end," his voice was so powerful, it made even me tremble and begin to fall apart, knowing this was all coming to a close. Pete smiled as he took it and Adine and him faced each other.
"With this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment," he whispered, a smile I had never seen before gracing his features. Adine seemed to let out a squeal as he placed the ring on her finger. Adine took his ring from the priest and copied in her vows.
"With this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment," she sounded almost board and Izzy scoffed under her breath. I knew how special Izzy thought weddings were, after all, her wedding with Patrick had her the happiest and most tearful I had ever seen her. The priest began to speak again as Adine and Pete laced hands.
"May this couple be prepared to continue to give, be able to forgive and experience more and more joy with each passing day, with each passing year," he paused and Patrick seemed to be taking a deep breath.
I knew something was going to happen.
Andy nodded and I widened my eyes as I glanced at Ashley and Izzy who nodded in unison. Pete seemed to ignore this as his smile grew more and more with each passing second. My heart beat picked up and I took a deep breath.
"If any one can show just cause why they should not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,"
Silence broke through the entire church and slowly, the bright smile on Pete's face disappeared and he slowly turned to look at me. Adine held the same look and I widened my eyes for a moment before looking over at Patrick who had not even said anything. Right then I had realized it was me who had let that go. I backed up and placed a hand to my chest, where I could feel the guilt, the pain and everything I was building up explode in my chest. Ashley shrugged and stepped forward.
"Priest, we have reason to believe Adine is in fact not pregnant with Pete's baby," Pete tore his eyes off of me and snapped them to Adine as she back up slightly.
"What?" he hissed. Ashley and Izzy both stepped forward and ripped open her corset, it falling and exposing her strapless bra and flat stomach. It looked as though she had lost weight.
"But..." I spoke up. Pete's eyes glanced over Adine's stomach before he shook his head and pushed her away, tears already pouring down his face.
"What did you do?!" he bellowed, it echoing off the church walls.
My breathing grew haggard as I watched the ushers along with Joe and Jenn escort most of the guests out of the room, even the priest shocked by how this was turning out. Adine seemed to be crushed under the pressure and reached for the corset to cover herself up.
"I got an abortion, alright?" she yelled, making Pete's defenses completely fall apart.
"But why?" his voice cracked and I could tell he was about to start to feel like what it meant to be me. Adine looked away and with a simple movement took of her ring.
"It's just the fact that I wanted to be married to you, not really have your kid," Pete shook with slight anger.
"You want the money," he whispered. Adine nodded. Pete's teeth clenched and he turned away. "Get out now," he hissed. I watched as Adine hesitated at first, but did so, leaving that sparkling diamond on the floor of the altar. All was silent for a few more moments before Andy walked up to Pete.
"I'm sorry man," he voiced. Pete shook his head and pushed him away, rushing up to me and shoving me violently into the center of attention. I dropped the bouquet I was holding and pushed back at his shoulders, failing miserably.
"This is your entire fault!" he yelled, those tears disappearing and his eyes lighting up with flames.
"Pete!" Joe yelled, rushing towards us. I shook my head and looked up at Pete.
"Why?" I asked. Pete huffed.
"You ruined my wedding!" he screamed. "You ruined everything good that was to come in my future!" He shoved me once more and I almost trembled backwards down the two steps.
"Pete," I pleaded. He shook his head.
"Do you want me to be miserable, huh?" he asked. I felt my eyes sting with more tears. "Do you want me to just hate your guts?" I shook my head.
"No!" I yelled. The rest of the gang seemed too shocked to move. I gulped and tried to comfort Pete.
"Please," I whispered. Pete shook his head and shoved me once more time, this time my body collapsing down the stairs as I stared up at him.
"Just stop!" he yelled once more. "You've ruined me, Ev," he bellowed. "You've ruined everything that makes me Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the Third,"
I winced at this and stared up at him as he walked around my crumbled and broken body and down the aisle back towards the back rooms. Joe went to grab for me, but I pushed him away and picked up the bottom of my dress as I ran after Pete. I reached him at the end of the aisle and lightly gripped his wrist.
He whipped around and in the split second it took me to notice the outraged look in his eyes, the back of his hand met my cheek and my head was thrashed to the side. My breath hitched and I watched as a slight trickle of blood slipped through my lips and fell onto the creamy yellow fabric of my dress.
"Evie!" I heard my name but couldn't distinguish who it was that was calling me.
Pete started to walk away, and the one thing that finally broke my heart was the fact he held no regret in his expression. I fell to my knees and quickly onto my side before closing my eyes and feeling my chest start to shake with uncontrollable breathing. When I felt arms wrap around me, and start to pick me up, I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes. My body soon met the couch of one of the back rooms and I rolled over, finally letting my vision capture Joe and Patrick staring down at me.
"Ev," Patrick sobbed, pushing some of my hair away. I shook my head and began to softly cry into the couch's arm.
"Please leave me alone," I pleaded, pointing to the door.
It took a while for them to leave me be, but when they did, I felt like I was finally ready to be done with this all. I was truly done with waiting around for someone who would never answer my call for help. I rolled off of the couch and onto the floor before reaching out for my purse that hung on the chair of the vanity. I slowly opened the zipper of it, before reaching in and rummaging through random objects before my fingers curled around that cylinder shaped escape plan. I opened the little bottle and watched as five or six odd pills spilled out of the orange cellophane plastic container.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
"Till tonight do us part," I whispered to myself.