STORY SUMMARY: At the United States Armed Forces Olympics, Hawk catches sight of a potential Joe days before the reemergence of Cobra. After Cobra resurfaces, he recruits the young Private. Just ho...
(#) Wolfman769 2005-09-16 06:26:35 AMHey!
Great to see you out here!
I do have a few suggestions that may prove useful:
1) The spacing between the paragraphs is inconsistent. It looked like you might have accidentally posted a draft with a number of sections missing.
2) Be sure to check your spelling and capitalization. The track & field event is called "hurdles" not "hurtles" for example.
It looks like a great start to a story about your custom character Mercury!