Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > It's You I Can't Deny

I'm Better Off Not Breathing.

by howshesews 6 reviews


Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Humor, Romance - Published: 2007-05-27 - Updated: 2007-05-27 - 1324 words

"Mom. I'm fine. It's fine. It's not like I'd been with him for a million and ten years, so I'm dealing. I'm a big girl. Semester's over and I have enough going on with that to keep me completely distracted. So stop freaking. But...don't stop buying me ice cream. Please and thank you."

Her mother just watched and listened. There was obvious sadness, but She was right. There were too many things going on in her life right now for her to slow down and feel the intensity of her heart ache. This was obviously for the best.

"Sweetheart, you know I trust that. You know I do. I just want you to understand that when life does slow down, and this hasn't resolved itself, that you will feel this. You are human. And to make that worse, you're a female human. I just want you to know I'm here, and I'll probably always have lots of ice cream. And peanut butter cups."

She turned and faced her mother, spoon in hand and a sad smile on her face.

"You get me fat and I'll never be loved again."


"You think I'm kidding, but beauty is skin deep." Her mother just rolled her eyes.

"I did not raise this cynic standing in my kitchen."

Sarah smiled and looked around.

"Where?" Her mother laughed.

"Go eat your ice cream, you punk."

Sarah blew her mother a kiss before quickly making her way out the front door.

"You bring my bowl back!" Sarah had the spoon in her mouth so she simply grunted in response, ands shut the door.

She couldn't slow down. Not for a single second, because her mother was right. She would feel it. She would notice her lack of him. That wasn't something she was ready for. But she'd lived her life as a pretty unfeeling person, so if she could get through the next week or so, she could get through anything, whether her life slowed down abruptly or not.

She opened the door to her car and sat down, immediately pushing play on her iPod and allowing the loud music to erase her focus on anything but the road.

That, unfortunately, worked for about four seconds, because as the next song began, she immediately felt the sting of a broken heart.

Their song. The first few notes filled her ears and it was the most startling jolt of sadness she had ever experienced.

My blue heaven.

Not so heaven-like anymore. She wanted him there. She needed him, in all reality. It was beyond want, and her soul knew it. The rest of her was incapable of fighting that.

She pulled over, resting her head on the steering wheel. Immediately her mind was carried away from the present.

"Sarah. Wear something cool. It's summertime and everyone is tired of seeing that stupid black jacket."

"I'm not here to impress your family, Crystal. I'm here because you asked me to come. So...I'll wear what I want. Besides, I'm malnourished and my body is incapable of retaining heat." Her friend looked at her.

"Is that what your doctor said?" Sarah just shrugged.

"I don't have a doctor. I just assume that's what the problem is." Crystal rolled her eyes.

"You're such a freak. Why do I invite you to these things?" Sarah zipped up her jacket.

"Because you want people to think you're associated with awesome. And I epitomize awesome...duh." Crystal laughed.

"I'm pretty sure that's not even kind of a reason why I hang out with you. It probably has something to do with the fact that you say things like that. It's pretty entertaining."

Sarah just looked at her.

"You're a bitch. And that is why I hang out with you." Crystal laughed and grabbed her keys.

"So, I'm just warning you now, it's not just family. Family brings friends. Friends bring significant others. Family brings significant others. It's a pretty extravagant event."

"Then I want to wear a dress." Crystal turned, not believing what she was hearing.

"I'm sorry...?"

"I. Want. To. Wear. A. Dress. Green. Yours. Size 5. Got it?" Crystal just nodded and fiddled with her keys, unlocking the door they had only locked seconds before.

"Change fast, you crazy bitch."

"Yeah." Sarah yelled in response as she turned the corner into Crystal's room, immediately attacking her closet, in search for the green dress she knew Crystal had.

"I just have a feeling." She whispered to herself as she stepped into the green sundress.

She played with her long, light brown hair until she decided that nothing really could be done with it, and added her glasses to her face. She looked better with them. Contacts were a pain anyway.

Crystal was standing in the doorway watching the clock on her microwave, losing patience with every second that went by. Just as she has inhaled a deep breath to support a loud curse word directed at her friend, Sarah came around the corner.

"Please dress like that more often. You're cute as hell. Stop trying to hide it underneath your stupid jackets."

"My jackets leave things to the imagination. I like to keep people guessing." Crystal rolled her eyes.

"You know what? I'm not going to fight you on your clothing selection tonight. You know why? Because you're in a dress, and that never happens. I'm just going to shut my mouth and be content."

"If I were your boyfriend, I would love that."

"You love that anyway."

"Yeah. I guess that makes me your girlfriend." Crystal laughed as she unlocked the car and they both climbed in.

The ride there was silent, aside from the wind as the car made it's away down the high way. The warm July air felt good against Sarah's bare shoulders, and she sipped her lemon water as she enjoyed the summertime and the sounds and smells that came with it.

"We're here." Crystal said as they pulled up to a large park. Tons of people were congregated around groups of picnic tables that were sheltered by a cute little pavilion.

"This is nice."

"Yeah." Crystal said, grabbing her purse. "My uncle owns it. Do you have any chapstick?"

"Is my name Sarah?"

"Is it?"

"Maybe not." Crystal grabbed at Sarah's hair.

"Give me the chap stick, bitch." Sarah crossed her arms protectively over her purse.

"That will get you nothing. Seeing as I'm pretty sure we just established that my name is 'Sarah'" Crystal stared. "Okay, fine."

As they approached the huge group of people, one in particular caught Sarah's eye.

"Who is that?" Sarah asked quietly. Crystal Looked at her.

"Who is who?" Sarah pointed at the young man that had stolen her attention so quickly. "Oh. I don't even know. Probably one of my cousin's friends or something. Why are we looking at him?"

Sarah shrugged.

"I don't have any idea. I just felt like I should look at him." Crystal shook her head.

"You're undeniably one of the strangest people I have ever met." Sarah smiled.

"I've resigned myself to the fact, beautiful."

Crystal was immediately bombarded by family, and Sarah was swept into the mess, meeting about 4 people a minute. It wasn't overwhelming, but the boy she'd wanted to meet initially was inadvertently forgotten.

"Let's play sand volleyball." Sarah said to Crystal, just as they were finishing their dinner.

"You're in a dress." Sarah shrugged. "You're still going to play even though you're wearing a dress?"

"I'm not afraid." Crystal rolled her eyes.

"Fear has nothing to do with it. I think in America we mostly call it modesty, or something like that."

Sarah shrugged and the two girls approached the volleyball court.

"You wanting to join the game?" Sarah looked up. Him. He was asking hem. The one she'd known she needed to look at.

"Yeah, Actually." He smiled, and extended his hand.

"I'm Patrick."

Sarah simply locked her eyes with his.

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