Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forgive me if I stutter from all of the clutter in my head1 Reviews
uh. idk. gjlksdfjg.
I woke up slowly. My dream was the same as it had been for the past..about 3 mnts now. Me and Brendon making out. Touching eachother. Well..you get the picture. I looked over, there was nobody there. Where was Brendon? Thats when I heard the bathroom door open. I looked over to see him, in just a towel. My heart stopped. I didnt mean to stare, but I did. "He..H..Hey.." He manged out looking at me funny like. "Hey.." I replied softly.
Oh damn. He looks so goddamn goregous. I can't belive I kissed him last night, I hope I didnt make him feel..strange. I hope he dosnt act funny around me. "I..I mean, about last night..I was drunk..I hope to god your not upset whit me." I said softly sitting on the bed beside of him. "I'm not upset." Ryan said softly, and then smiled..but I could see right through that. He was very upset. "Please..don't be mad at me Ryro." I pouted and kissed his cheek playfully. But he still looked sad.
God, I hate him so goddamn much. FuckFuckFuckFuck!! I screamed inside of my head. I swear to god, if he gets close to me one more time I'll punch him in his face. The only time I didnt feel like I loved him was when I made myself get mad at him. But..it just turned me on even more. Damnit. Then, he leaned in and smiled that big famous smile at me and my heart stopped. If I didnt hit him, I'd kiss him. So I pulled my arm back and hit him as hard as I could. Oh, shit. Did I really just fucking do that?! He stood up afterr falling on the floor and just looked at me. "Im..I..I'm sorry!" I screamed and jumped from the bed running into the bathroom and slamming the door. I locked it and grabbed a razor I always kept with me for times like these. I slowly slide it acrossed my wrist and I closed my eyes. I done it for what seemed like hours. My wrists were coverd in blood and my face was stained with tears. I could hear Brendon getting dressed. He'd finally gave up on trying to get in the bathroom..or well, I thought.
I guess Brendon was really worried. I guess he got an old hanger of mine in my suitcase, or maybe from my closet in the hotel. I'm not really sure. But before I could hide my wrist he popped the lock and came running in. He stopped when he seen my wrists. I couldnt do anything, I just pulled my knees up and laid my head on them, crying some more. "Ryan! What the fuck have you done?!" He got beside of me and tried to look at my wrist but I pulled away. "Why..why did you do this to yourself honey?" Brendon asked me in a calm voice. I looked up at him. I was done hideing. I was done being ashamed. I was going to tell him right now, and I wouldnt care what he thought either. "Because of you." I said softly. I looked in to his eyes, I could tell he was hurting. I didnt mean to hurt him. I didnt want to hurt him..god how I didnt.
"Because..of..m..me?" He manged out between tears. "Yes, don't you understand how I fucking feel about you? I love you Brendon Boyd Urie. I can't hide these feelings anymore, I'm so sorry. If you dont want to be friends anymore I udnerstand but I can't keep going on like I dont love you." I breathed deeply. Trying to caught my breath. After what seemed like hours Bren looked up at me and grabbed my face. His lips crashed in to mine roughly and soon we were rolling all over the floor.
A/N: Ah. Whats gonna happen, will they hook up? Ah. Mkay, just..uh..reveiw. Because I know you guys are already getting orgasims.