Brendon has one last confession to make. And it's the hardest thing he'll ever have to do.
The dedication this time goes to everyone who didn't get a dedication before. I thought it would be unfair to put some readers above others on the last chapter because you've all been so valuable to me! You've helped me grow as a writer and I really appreciate it. Thanks so much guys!!!
Hey, just because it's the last chapter doesn't mean you don't have to review. Because you do. I have to know what you thought of the ending!
Brendon stood staring at himself in the mirror, buttoning his shirt and trying not to hyperventilate.
This was the scariest show he would ever have to play.
The fans didn't bother him. He wasn't made nervous by his desire to impress them.
But something was definitely different about today.
It wasn't just that he was getting dressed alone.
Or that he had chosen to keep most of the lights off in the dressing room.
Or that his makeup was the absolute shittiest it had ever been because he had to do it himself.
No, the reason today was going to be the scariest day of his life was walking right through the dressing room door.
He sauntered in, practically shaking his hips and making Brendon want to pounce on him from the moment he walked in the door and just inform everyone that the show was cancelled because he and Ryan had some "catching up" to do.
That was what confident, fearless Brendon would have done.
But instead, petrified, hopeless Brendon was standing right in front of Ryan as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist and left a few light kisses on his neck before whispering.
"I'm so glad you're back."
Brendon hummed happily and prayed harder than he ever had that Ryan's grip around his waist and his lips on Brendon's neck wouldn't ever go away.
But the prayers of the wicked are often left unheard.
And although Brendon's confessions had been enough to free him from the judgments of his family and his closest friends, he hadn't reconciled with the one who needed to be confessed to the most.
He had told all the important people in his life about his feelings for his bandmate, but he hadn't yet discussed his feelings with the most important person of all.
The person who was taking Brendon's hand and leading him to the small couch on the opposite side of the dressing room.
The person who was guiding Brendon to lie on top of him until their lips connected, slow at first, but heated and passionate once the fires between them were rekindled. They weaved their hands together on one side, and Brendon placed his free hand on the back of Ryan's neck, pulling them closer so that Brendon's tongue could easily gain entrance into Ryan's mouth, receiving a moan of satisfaction from the boy underneath him, who was starting to feel the friction from his exposed lower back against the pleather couch he was currently being pressed into.
Brendon rolled his hips down into Ryan's and immediately knew from Ryan's grip cutting off the circulation of his arms, that it had been the right thing to do. So, he continued his ministrations, releasing the hand that had been holding Ryan's in order to let it travel down his side to the waistband of his jeans. Immediately, Ryan's eyes flew open and met Brendon's. Before either of them could make a decision about what was to happen next, they heard a small knock at the door and Spencer's familiar voice.
"2 minutes, Brendon. Everyone else is ready, so hurry up."
Before he had a chance to respond, Brendon heard Spencer's footsteps moving away from the door. Both boys on the couch were breathing heavily and Brendon lowered his forehead so that it was touching Ryan's.
Ryan swallowed hard and nodded fiercely. Brendon's single word was a promise. A promise that, after everything that had happened, Ryan was more than willing to let Brendon keep.
Brendon took a long drink from his water bottle and threw the remains into the crowd, eliciting an uproar of screams from the middle section of the audience. He smiled and sat down on the platform that Spencer's drums were sitting on.
"So, normally, this is the part of the show where I'd give you guys the whole spiel about dreams, and how the song isn't about happiness and flowers and rainbows, but I'm feeling a little different today. So, today, I'm simply going to talk to you about love."
He stood up, going over to untwist the microphone cord from where it was wrapped around the stand. Ryan looked over to Jon and the two of them shared a look of confusion. What the hell was Brendon trying to pull? He looked toward Ryan and smirked, continuing his speech.
"Whether you like it or not, I'm pretty sure most of us here can vouch for the fact that love is not sunflower fields. Love is not crystal blue skies, and love is not wind whipping through lovely lavish locks. But I'll tell you what love is. Love is passion, and often it is hard, sweaty, crazy, angry, monstrous fucking. I should know, and so should someone else on this stage."
People instantly screamed at the excitement created by just the possibility of Brendon moving closer to Ryan. But he stayed where he was and watched Ryan's reactions from afar, watching as Ryan mouthed the words "What are you doing?" and only smiling in response.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have something very important to say to someone else here tonight. I used to think that I could only say these things in private, where no one else could hear. After all, it only really mattered to him, right? But over the past few days, he's made me realize that he's all that matters to me. And if I've told my mother and Pete Wentz this, then it's got to be the most important thing I've ever said, and I'd say you all have a right to know as well."
Brendon could instantly hear the venue getting quieter, like everyone was straining to hear his big confession.
"You know who else has a right to know?"
He turned his body to face in Ryan's direction.
He walked over to Ryan and stood as close as possible, Ryan's guitar preventing them from touching, which Ryan viewed as a good thing because the thrill of Brendon being this close in front of so many people was enough to make him hard. Brendon raised the microphone up between the two of them and smiled.
"I love you, Ryan Ross, and I want everyone to know."
Ryan laughed just from the sheer happiness caused by this situation. But then, he didn't know what to do. He was never one for the clichÃ©, and how clichÃ© would it be if he just...
Sometimes, fan girls could be outrageous. But occasionally, they were absolutely correct.
Ryan leaned in and brushed Brendon's lips with his own before crashing their lips together, causing Brendon to drop the microphone and put his hand on the back of Ryan's head, pulling him in to kiss him harder and faster. Ryan didn't care who saw him sliding his tongue into Brendon's mouth, and Brendon didn't care who saw him accept. At the moment, the only two people in the world that mattered were the ones gasping for air like they were stuck underwater. When they broke apart, they both grinned as Brendon gave Ryan one last peck on the lips and then skipped away, picking up his microphone and motioning for them to start the next song with renewed vigor, like a kid who's just eaten 10 pixie sticks. At the moment, everything was perfect, and at the moment, that was all that mattered. They had their whole lives to worry about the future. Life wasn't so disheveled anymore.
And that's it! I'm so sad that this story is over because I had so much fun writing it and it was pretty much the first chaptered one I'd ever written for Panic! I really hope you guys enjoyed it, and I hope you'll continue to read whatever I write. Thanks so much for coming along for the ride!!! I'll love you all forever!!! :D
p.s. I have a cute little epilogue written too. It's not long, but it's a kind of "what happens afterwards" piece. It's fluffy, but it'll probably make you smile, so stay tuned!