Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > My Immortal
When the woman came back, she zipped up the bag and took me back to Brendon who was pacing outside the waiting room.
" Where the hell were you!" he asked worried as he pulled me into his arms. I held onto him.
" I just needed to say bye to Ryan.." I whispered into his chest, closing my eyes. He kissed the top of my head.
That year was the worst of my life. No one seemed to understand why I just couldn't get over Ryan. Why I couldn't just get up and move on. It just wasn't that simple. He was my first real love, and to me it was so strong that it kept going. But now I wasn't hurting only me..but someone else.
Brendon and I had spent alot of time together after Ryan had passed. He sat next to me and held my hand when he was burried next to his father, he was there when Ryan's mother yelled at me, telling me it was all my fault that her son was taken away from her. He was there when I thought I couldn't take it anymore and ended up in the hospital. He was there to make me realize that Ryan wasn't the only one that loved me.
" I don't understand why you've been acting like this Brendon..." I applied a little more eyeliner and adjusted my bra. This was my second date since Ryan had passed, and Brendon was PMSing.
" I just can't stand to see you come home disappointed after your dates! Everytime you come back, you mope around for weeks because he was nothing like Ryan! Why can't you accept that he's gone." I was slipping on my heels and stopped. I turned to look at him.
" Because he's not gone Brendon! He's still here..everyday..he never leaves me alone. Not during the day, not at night. No matter how hard I try, I can't let him go, he'll never let me go." Brendon crossed his arms and looked down not knowing what to say.
" Why can't you see it?" he asked. I stared at him, my hands on my hips.
" What?! See what!"
" Why can't you see that Ryan's not the only one that loved you! Why can't you see that I love you too!" I stumbled slightly. I didn't know what else to do, so I turned my back on him and went into the living room, but he wasn't giving up. " I know you two were really in love, but seeing you this sad...I just want to make you happy. Please...let me make you happy." He turned me around slowly. My head was now burried in his chest and he had his chin resting on top of it.
" He was my husband Bren...I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.." I whispered thinking of Ryan, the words echoeing in my head, " Till death do you part." it meant nothing to me. " I don't want to hurt you Brendon...I don't want to be with you, giving me all your love when I can't return it like you want me too. I can't make that promise." he pulled away slightly and looked at me, his hand caressing my cheek.
" Please..just give it a chance." I nodded my head slowly, and he captured my lips with his. The warmth and reassurance it gave me sent chills up and down my spine. My knees grew weak, my heart melted, butterlies flew through my stomach. But..I didn't feel guilty. I didn't feel as if I was hurting Ryan. I felt as if..I could breath again. Like Ryan would...approve, he'd want me to be happy, and he knew Brendon best. They were close friends, he had to be a good man.
" I know you'll never love me as much as you loved Ryan, but right now, all I want is you, to make you happy." he whispered as our foreheads rested on each other.
" I love you Brendon." the thought of loving anyone else but Ryan had always brought a sick feeling to my stomach, but saying those words...and meaning them to Brendon didn't bother at all. Cause I did...and I knew he loved me too.
" I love you too Emily." closing my eyes I could see Ryan, and for once he wasn't frowning, but smiling. All he wanted was for me to be happy, and after all this time of beind sad, I finally was.
" Where the hell were you!" he asked worried as he pulled me into his arms. I held onto him.
" I just needed to say bye to Ryan.." I whispered into his chest, closing my eyes. He kissed the top of my head.
That year was the worst of my life. No one seemed to understand why I just couldn't get over Ryan. Why I couldn't just get up and move on. It just wasn't that simple. He was my first real love, and to me it was so strong that it kept going. But now I wasn't hurting only me..but someone else.
Brendon and I had spent alot of time together after Ryan had passed. He sat next to me and held my hand when he was burried next to his father, he was there when Ryan's mother yelled at me, telling me it was all my fault that her son was taken away from her. He was there when I thought I couldn't take it anymore and ended up in the hospital. He was there to make me realize that Ryan wasn't the only one that loved me.
" I don't understand why you've been acting like this Brendon..." I applied a little more eyeliner and adjusted my bra. This was my second date since Ryan had passed, and Brendon was PMSing.
" I just can't stand to see you come home disappointed after your dates! Everytime you come back, you mope around for weeks because he was nothing like Ryan! Why can't you accept that he's gone." I was slipping on my heels and stopped. I turned to look at him.
" Because he's not gone Brendon! He's still here..everyday..he never leaves me alone. Not during the day, not at night. No matter how hard I try, I can't let him go, he'll never let me go." Brendon crossed his arms and looked down not knowing what to say.
" Why can't you see it?" he asked. I stared at him, my hands on my hips.
" What?! See what!"
" Why can't you see that Ryan's not the only one that loved you! Why can't you see that I love you too!" I stumbled slightly. I didn't know what else to do, so I turned my back on him and went into the living room, but he wasn't giving up. " I know you two were really in love, but seeing you this sad...I just want to make you happy. Please...let me make you happy." He turned me around slowly. My head was now burried in his chest and he had his chin resting on top of it.
" He was my husband Bren...I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.." I whispered thinking of Ryan, the words echoeing in my head, " Till death do you part." it meant nothing to me. " I don't want to hurt you Brendon...I don't want to be with you, giving me all your love when I can't return it like you want me too. I can't make that promise." he pulled away slightly and looked at me, his hand caressing my cheek.
" Please..just give it a chance." I nodded my head slowly, and he captured my lips with his. The warmth and reassurance it gave me sent chills up and down my spine. My knees grew weak, my heart melted, butterlies flew through my stomach. But..I didn't feel guilty. I didn't feel as if I was hurting Ryan. I felt as if..I could breath again. Like Ryan would...approve, he'd want me to be happy, and he knew Brendon best. They were close friends, he had to be a good man.
" I know you'll never love me as much as you loved Ryan, but right now, all I want is you, to make you happy." he whispered as our foreheads rested on each other.
" I love you Brendon." the thought of loving anyone else but Ryan had always brought a sick feeling to my stomach, but saying those words...and meaning them to Brendon didn't bother at all. Cause I did...and I knew he loved me too.
" I love you too Emily." closing my eyes I could see Ryan, and for once he wasn't frowning, but smiling. All he wanted was for me to be happy, and after all this time of beind sad, I finally was.
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