Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > My Immortal
It had been three months since the incident, and I hadn't heard from Ryan at all. We had both agreed to anul the marriage, and before we had actually sent in the papers, the tabloids were out with ridiculous stories about why we had broken up. You can't even imagine the phone calls I had gotten from guests that attended the supposed wedding.
The pictures were absurd. Sarah, my younger sister, had brought me a few and I couldn't do more than smirk.
I think the funniest story would be the one where Brendon and I had had a secret love affair, and I just couldn't take the double life anymore and chose Brendon. Of course that wasn't true.
From time to time I wondered if Ryan had read any of these stories, but I couldn't no for sure. The day I left, Ryan had put his house on a complete lock down, and no one had talked to him since. He never answered his phone, and he never opened his door. A few weeks after, his car was no longer in the driveway and soon the house was put up for sale.
To say the least, I was worried. I had loved the man for four years, we had spent almost everyday together. Now it's almost been four months and I haven't seen him at all. But I knew if I did see him, I'd break down completely, my whole world I had created and rebuilt would be crushed and I'd have to start all over again.
After another few months of no one hearing from Ryan, he called me. At first I was pissed off because no one had answered after I said hello numerous times, and just when I was about to hang up, " Emily.." I knew that voice anymore. No matter how cracked up and dead it sounded, I knew it was Ryan.
" Ryan." I whispered back. " Where've you been! Everyone's been so worried about you...we've missed you.." silence. He coughed slightly.
" I just wanted to tell you I loved you and that I'm sorry..." the line then went dead. I called everyone I knew that had been worried about Ryan to tell them what he had said. But it was no help, no one knew where he was cause he didn't say.
The next day, we found out he had commited suicide. He had been staying at a motel for the past few months, and when he hadn't come out in the morning like he usually did, the owner went to check on him. WHen Ryan didn't answer, he opened the door and found him passed out on the bed, a bottle of anti-depressents in his limp hand.
By the time we had reached the hospital where they had taken him, it was too late.
" We pumped his stomach, gave him all we could, but...we're afraid the pills had been in his body too long.." the doctor droned on as I collapsed to the floor. My eyes shut tight, and my mouth wide open. I screamed his name over and over again, hoping that he'd run to me and take me into his arms, telling me he was here and this was all a very bad joke. But that didn't happen. Sarah and Brendon took me into the waiting room where I cried it all out. I had finally fallen asleep, the tears had weakened me and when I woke up, I found only Brendon with me. He was fast asleep on one of the chairs, hsi mouth slightly open. I tried to whisper his name, but my throat was too sore. All the screaming must have caused it.
I got up slowly and left the room. Walking down the hall, I asked a nurse about Ryan's body. She gave me a sad look and told me to follow her. She took me to the morgue that should've been the basement. She pulled back a curtain to reveal a black bag. She beckoned me closer as she unzipped it revealing a very pale Ryan.
I instantly got choked up, but refraimed from falling to the floor.
" I'll just leave you for a moment." she said soflty closing the curtain and walking away. I unzipped the bag more and pushed it to the sides. His lips were already purple, and he had dark circles around his eyes. He looked so peaceful, as if he was just sleeping and any moment he would wake up and smile at me. When that moment didn't come I pushed his hair a little to side.
" I wish the last thing you hadn't said to me was that you were sorry." I sucked in a breath to help keep my voice from choking over. " I wish that I had been there to tell you to stop. I wish we had never fought, and I wish you had talked to me." I felt my face contort as I tried to keep the tears back. " Why didn't you talk to me baby? Why couldn't you just tell me what was wrong...we would be happy sweety..so happy." I pushed a little of his hair back again. " But I guess I was right...maybe we weren't supposed to get married..maybe we weren't meant to be. But I'll always love you..no matter what happens, you'll always be my first love." I bent down and kissed him soflty on the lips. " I love you Mickey Mouse." I whispered.
The pictures were absurd. Sarah, my younger sister, had brought me a few and I couldn't do more than smirk.
I think the funniest story would be the one where Brendon and I had had a secret love affair, and I just couldn't take the double life anymore and chose Brendon. Of course that wasn't true.
From time to time I wondered if Ryan had read any of these stories, but I couldn't no for sure. The day I left, Ryan had put his house on a complete lock down, and no one had talked to him since. He never answered his phone, and he never opened his door. A few weeks after, his car was no longer in the driveway and soon the house was put up for sale.
To say the least, I was worried. I had loved the man for four years, we had spent almost everyday together. Now it's almost been four months and I haven't seen him at all. But I knew if I did see him, I'd break down completely, my whole world I had created and rebuilt would be crushed and I'd have to start all over again.
After another few months of no one hearing from Ryan, he called me. At first I was pissed off because no one had answered after I said hello numerous times, and just when I was about to hang up, " Emily.." I knew that voice anymore. No matter how cracked up and dead it sounded, I knew it was Ryan.
" Ryan." I whispered back. " Where've you been! Everyone's been so worried about you...we've missed you.." silence. He coughed slightly.
" I just wanted to tell you I loved you and that I'm sorry..." the line then went dead. I called everyone I knew that had been worried about Ryan to tell them what he had said. But it was no help, no one knew where he was cause he didn't say.
The next day, we found out he had commited suicide. He had been staying at a motel for the past few months, and when he hadn't come out in the morning like he usually did, the owner went to check on him. WHen Ryan didn't answer, he opened the door and found him passed out on the bed, a bottle of anti-depressents in his limp hand.
By the time we had reached the hospital where they had taken him, it was too late.
" We pumped his stomach, gave him all we could, but...we're afraid the pills had been in his body too long.." the doctor droned on as I collapsed to the floor. My eyes shut tight, and my mouth wide open. I screamed his name over and over again, hoping that he'd run to me and take me into his arms, telling me he was here and this was all a very bad joke. But that didn't happen. Sarah and Brendon took me into the waiting room where I cried it all out. I had finally fallen asleep, the tears had weakened me and when I woke up, I found only Brendon with me. He was fast asleep on one of the chairs, hsi mouth slightly open. I tried to whisper his name, but my throat was too sore. All the screaming must have caused it.
I got up slowly and left the room. Walking down the hall, I asked a nurse about Ryan's body. She gave me a sad look and told me to follow her. She took me to the morgue that should've been the basement. She pulled back a curtain to reveal a black bag. She beckoned me closer as she unzipped it revealing a very pale Ryan.
I instantly got choked up, but refraimed from falling to the floor.
" I'll just leave you for a moment." she said soflty closing the curtain and walking away. I unzipped the bag more and pushed it to the sides. His lips were already purple, and he had dark circles around his eyes. He looked so peaceful, as if he was just sleeping and any moment he would wake up and smile at me. When that moment didn't come I pushed his hair a little to side.
" I wish the last thing you hadn't said to me was that you were sorry." I sucked in a breath to help keep my voice from choking over. " I wish that I had been there to tell you to stop. I wish we had never fought, and I wish you had talked to me." I felt my face contort as I tried to keep the tears back. " Why didn't you talk to me baby? Why couldn't you just tell me what was wrong...we would be happy sweety..so happy." I pushed a little of his hair back again. " But I guess I was right...maybe we weren't supposed to get married..maybe we weren't meant to be. But I'll always love you..no matter what happens, you'll always be my first love." I bent down and kissed him soflty on the lips. " I love you Mickey Mouse." I whispered.
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