Pete and Haley talk.
I had no idea how long I had been lying in bed. Everything was just a blur. I looked over at my bedroom door as it slowly opened and saw Madison step in. I wasn't ready to deal with people yet, so I pretended to be asleep. It wasn't that big of a surprise she was here, since I knew the rest of the guys would worry about me. Exhausted, I fell into a restless sleep a few minutes later.
Light hit my eyes the next morning, and I groaned at the intrusion. I heard Madison making noise in the kitchen, and I was content to just sleep the rest of the day. But first, I needed to go the restroom. I snuck quietly down the hallway so Madison wouldn't know I was up. Looking in the mirror, I was shocked at what I saw. My hair was a tangled mess, my eyes were puffy and red, and my face was all splotchy. I sighed at my appearance and quickly made my way back to bed, where I fell back asleep immediately. When I awoke later the afternoon, I was no longer tired, but wasn't ready to inflict my mood on anyone else yet. A few minutes later, I heard the door open again, and I quickly shut my eyes, trying to fake sleep.
"I know you're awake," I heard Patrick say. I opened my eyes, and I felt him sit on the bed next to me. As soon as I looked up at him, fresh tears sprung to my eyes.
"Oh, sweetie, it's going to be okay," he said, as he pulled me up and hugged me.
I cried into his shoulder, "No, it's not. It's like he ripped my heart out."
"I know. And I know you don't want to hear this right now, but Pete is a mess too."
Even after all that happened, I felt sympathy for Pete. It was impossible not to, since we had been through so much together. But it didn't mean I was ready to forgive him.
"Where is he?" I asked.
"At home with his parents. But enough about Pete. Let's talk about you. Madison said you locked yourself in here since yesterday and that you haven't eaten."
I looked down at the bed, playing with the blanket.
"Now get up, Joe and I are going to take you to dinner."
"But I'm a mess..."
"You look just fine."
I glared at him. "Stop trying to make me feel better. I know I look like shit."
"You'll feel better after you shower."
"Well, I don't want to go."
"Too bad you don't have a choice. I'll drag you if I have to."
While Patrick and I were arguing, Joe walked in.
"Nice hair," he said, grinning. I shot Patrick a look that said I told you so.
"Oh, shut it Trohman," I said, glaring at the both of them.
"Well, I just came to say hurry up, I'm hungry." I rolled my eyes. Typical Joe.
"But seriously, you look fine," he said, as he walked out the door with Patrick.
I emerged 45 minutes later, feeling slightly better, ready to get this evening over with. We climbed into Joe's car, with Madison in the passenger seat and Patrick and I in the back. During the drive, I made an effort to participate in the conversation because I was tired of feeling sorry for myself.
After dinner, Joe decided the best thing for me would to take me to the movies to make me laugh. We let Joe pick the movie and he decided on Blades of Glory, which I must admit made me take my mind off Pete, but that quickly changed. As I climbed in the car next to Patrick, my Sidekick vibrated. I pulled out and stared at it. Patrick looked at me curiously and glanced at the screen which said 'Peter Pan' and flashed his growly face picture. It stopped ringing a few moments later, and I was informed I had a new voicemail, which I ignored...for now.
After they dropped me off, and I promised I would be okay and would call if I needed anything, I made my way into the apartment. As I was changing into my PJ's, my eyes kept wandering to look at my Sidekick. On one hand, I wanted to know what he said. On the other hand, I didn't. Eventually curiosity won out, and I listened to the message.
"I-I didn't really expect you to pick up. In fact I would have been surprised," he said, sounding nervous. "I know you're mad and hurt and you have every right to be. But I want to let you know that I'm sorry. I know that doesn't change what I did, but I'm truly sorry. I shouldn't have done it. Please, Haley, I want to talk to you. But I'll respect the time you need. I'll be waiting. Again, I'm sorry, I miss you..."
I sighed as the message finished. Patrick was right, he was a mess. Knowing Pete, he was hating himself more than I could possibly ever hate him. I laid down, still thinking, knowing it would be a sleepless night. I knew I needed to talk to Pete, but I didn't want to over the phone. Talking to him face to face would be better.
Then there was the whole issue of cheating to deal with. Before this, I had always vowed never to stay with someone who cheated, but now I found myself questioning this. But this was a decision I had to make on my own. None of my friends could help. I had loved Pete from when I was just a kid. I saw myself being with him the rest of my life, having his kids. Could I walk away from that? More importantly, did I still love him?
Sometime during the night, I fell asleep and woke up in the morning just as confused. As much as I was dreading what I needed to do, it had to be done. I changed into a pair of sweats and t-shirt, and shoved my feet into a pair of sandals. All too soon, I found myself parked in Pete's driveway, where it took me 10 minutes to gather the courage to get out of the car. Finally, I forced myself out of the car and slowly walked around to the back door. I was relieved to see that nether of his parents were home, and I let myself in. The Wentz's home was my second home. As I made my way up the stairs to Pete's room, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I took a deep breath and knocked.
"I'm fine, Mom," he said.
I knocked again. Coming this far, I wasn't going to give up that easy. I heard him moving to open the door and nearly laughed at the look of shock on his face. We stood there in awkward silence just looking at one another.
"Um...can I come in?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Sorry, yeah," he said, moving to let me in. I sat down on the desk chair across from the bed, while Pete sat on the bed. We both looked around the room, avoiding the inevitable.
"So..." we both started at the same time.
"Go ahead," I said, smiling for the first time.
"I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry for what I said that night."
"I know you are." I could tell my answer surprised him. "I think that you made a mistake because I would like to think that you wouldn't do that to hurt me on purpose."
"I don't know what I was thinking. And I know that's not an excuse."
"But I won't deny that it hurt, because it did. I thought I could trust you, and as of right now I can't. I don't know if I ever can again." I saw him hang his head. "But I do still want to be friends."
He picked up his head, "You do? Why would you still want anything to do with me?"
"Because no matter what, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I don't know what I'd do without you being in my life. You've been a huge part of it for as long as I can remember. Besides, who's going to tell me when I do something stupid or put me into my place?"
"That's my job," he said, laughing softly. "But seriously, I'm going to show you that you can trust me because I want you to able to trust me. You're the person who understands me the best. I know I'm not the best person in the world, and I'm far from perfect. But this was one mistake I could've prevented. And I hope one day you'll forgive me."
I listened to what Pete had to say and realized he truly felt bad for what he had done, but that didn't mean I was just going to go running back to him. There was too much hurt. As easy as it would be, I wasn't ready.
"Let's just take it one day at a time," I said, turning my head so he wouldn't see me blinking the tears out of my eyes.
I saw her turn her head in an attempt to hide her tears, but I knew she was trying not to cry. It was all my fault she was crying. I can't stand the thought of making her cry. I even promised her that no one would hurt her again. And what did I go and do? 'Good job, Wentz.' I wanted to reach out and wipe her tears away and hold her and beg for forgiveness, but I was afraid that if I hugged her, she might slap me.
After a few moments she turned back to look at me and gave me a half smile. I gave her my best reassuring smiles, or attempted to. It wasn't all that good, since I was trying not to break down myself.
She made some movements, as if she was getting ready to leave. 'No!' my mind screamed. 'You just got her to talk to you. Don't let her leave.'
"Uh...if you want you can hang out here for a little while. My parents are gone for the day," I stuttered out. 'Oh yeah, Wentz, way not to look desperate.'
I watched her debate with herself as what to do, and I held my breath waiting for an answer.
"Okay," she said, slowly. I breathed a sigh of relief.
We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening doing what we normally did when we were hanging out; watching DVD's, playing videogames, and pigging out on junk food. Although we were laughing and having what appeared to be a good time, it still wasn't the same. It felt like something was missing.
By midnight we were in the middle of watching South Park, and I was laughing at Cartman when I noticed I was laughing by myself. I looked over at Haley, who was now asleep. I knew I should wake her up, but couldn't bear to disturb her. Instead I covered her with a blanket and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you," I whispered.
I climbed into the other bed in my room, which my mom insisted I keep, sighing. This was going to be a long, sleepless night.