Disclaimer- I own NOTHING, do not sue me
That night I walked Ryan home. We talked for a little while but soon all words faded away and we were left with silence. Not that heavy awkward silence, no, this was a comfortable silence. It was silent because no words were needed. Just being in each others company was all we really want and needed.
I walked Ryan up to his door and placed a gentle kiss upon his soft pink ones. I stared into his beautiful hazel eyes. At that moment he was all that mattered. We shared one last kiss, and he opened his door and disappeared threw it. I began to walk down the street back to my own house, not even trying to suppress the grin that was threatening to devour my face.
But as I walked I started to worry. He knows I'm gay. What if he wants me to come out of the closet?
What if he doesn't really like me as much as I like him?
The more I walked the more my carefree happy attitude turned to fear and worry. But not regret. I would and could never regret what I did with Ryan. I needed what happened and I wouldn't trade what happened that night under the beautiful star dotted sky for anything.
I have always been brought up to believe this is wrong, what me and Ryan were doing is a unforgivable sin. But how can something that feels so right be wrong? I've had my doubts about religion ever sense I started having these feelings and attractions tword other guys.
If being homosexual is a sin, why do I have these feelings? Surely god wouldn't give me these feelings if they were indeed a sin. I have been gay my whole life, that I know. So therefore I've had no chance, damned from the start. God wouldn't do that would he? And if he would god is very cruel and I want nothing to do religion.
My thought were interrupted when I realized I was standing outside my front door. I headed up the stairs, not stopping to go to my room but instead strait to Karen's. I needed to talk to the one person I knew would understand. I knocked lightly on the door and it instantly swung open to reveal my sister standing there with a worried expression donned on her face.
That worried expression quickly turned to a smile when she practically leaped on top of me.
" Oh my god! Bren! Where have you been!" I stood with what was surely a dazed expression staring at her intently. Oh god! My curfew!
Karen must have noticed my alarm because she quickly nodded her head in an overly exaggerated fashion and said, " Don't worry I covered for you. But don't do that! You had me worried sick! " I smiled at how motherly she sounded." Don't worry Karen. " I started, " I just didn't realize the time."
That instantly erased her worries and she got all exited and started jumping up and down.
" Awe Brendon! Where you with some one? Was it a boy? was it that boy you told me about? Do you like him? What happened! Tell me! "
I laughed at her eagerness and decided to tell her, " I was with someone...." I paused fore a dramatic affect,
" Yes, it was a boy, It was Ryan, and I definitely like him. After replying Karen instantly squealed and scooted up close to me. " So...spill, what happened tonight? "
And so I told her in great detail. And when I was done she had a serious expression on her face.
" What are you going to do? " I mulled her question over and replied with a quiet and unsure, " I don't know. "
We sat in silence for a while not knowing what to say, before I got up and headed for my room, But just as I was about to walk out the door she grabbed hold of my sleeve and uttered a simple, " Just don't hurt him, okay?"
I nodded my head and stepped across the hall and into my room.
It was Friday witch meant no school th next day, and two days until I can see Ryan again, I could aways go to his house but I don't want to come off to forward. I lay my head down on the pillow and quickly drift of into dreamland.
The next morning I am awakened by some one throwing things at me and jumping on the bed. " Brennnndon! "
Karen screeched, " wakey wakey! I'm going to the mall and your coming with me!"
Please, seriously like I'd say know, the mall is a gay boys heaven. I pushed he off my and told her I'd be down soon. I hopped into a quick shower and threw on a pair of ' to tight for any strait boy ' jeans, a light yellow shirt, and to top it off my favorite lavender hoodie. Sometimes I wonder how is is everyone thinks I'm strait. If you take the time to notice I really am quite flamboyant.
I ran down the stairs tripping over the last one and falling strait onto my ass. I could hear my sister explode with laughter from across the room. I grumbled and got up rubbing my, now sore, ass. My sister came out of her fit of laughter and walked to the door.
" That was...quite a..graceful entrance " She exclaimed between giggles. I rolled my eyes at the comment and opened the car door stepping carefully into it, not wanting to trip again. She sat in the drivers seat and started flipping threw radio stations, finally stopping at some hip hop station.
" Ewwww! Karen!" I screamed pushing my bottom lip out and pouting. She laughed, " Fine, fine jeez Bren you are such a diva! " I smiled and nodded while changing the station to ' Dance, Dance' by Fall Out Boy. I sang along loudly, while Karen just laughed and smiled at me.
We finally arrived at the mall. It was a sunny day and I was at one of my favorite place's. I had a feeling this would be a good day.
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