Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You Are Everything You Ought To Be
Chapter 1
10 reviewsA story about a woman...and the boy that unintentionally changed her life.
4Exciting
Everyone has moments in their lives that help define them. Moments that they can look back upon and say "I am the person that I am because that happened to me." Meeting him was one of those moments. Three months later and I'm still not entirely sure if this has been a good thing or not. You see, three months ago I was a twenty-nine year old waitress at a hole in the wall diner on the outskirts of Las Vegas. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still a twenty-nine year old waitress at a hole in the wall diner on the outskirts of Las Vegas, only now I'm...I guess you could say aquainted with a rock star.
He's out of town right now. Working on some things with his band. I'm still here in Vegas, still waiting around, going about my everyday life. Mainly because I'm a seperate part of his life. There is me and then there is Hollywood, and over the last three months since meeting him I've realized that never the two shall meet.
Let me back up and explain? It didn't even begin with him per say. It really began with me moving to Las Vegas from a small Virginia town intending on making a living as a writer. I'm not really sheltered, in fact, I've been around the block more then a few times if you get my meaning. I was just young and eager. Too bad in my infinate wisdom (and desire to move out to a big city that I thought would provide tons of inspiration) I didn't realize how illogical this was as a plan to pay rent. Therefore, job hunting. My complete and total lack of skills I had when it came to anything involving cards kept me away from a job as a dealer. That left cocktail waitress, stripper, or maid. I chose the diner near my apartment instead. I had waited tables all throughout highschool and college at my parents restaurant in Virginia; therefore, I logically figured would be the best choice for me while here. I wasn't wrong. At least not completely. You see, something you need to know about me, something incredibly important actually. I don't listen to music that came out after 1985, unless it's country. Call it close minded if you will, but I just don't care. I'm twenty-nine years old and I couldn't tell you what's played on Top 40 radio if my life depended on it. It's just me. And it's that little quirk of mine that basically began my problems. If I hadn't been so damn curious I could have avoided this whole situation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ringing of the bell over the door grabbed Beth's attention briefly. Glancing up she saw five teenagers troop in and head over to a corner booth. Nodding to them that she had seen them Beth grabbed menu's and a coffee pot before walking around from behind the counter, pausing briefly to fill the cup of the young man who had spent every night for the past week in a booth writing in a note book. Beth smiled at his whispered "thank you" and continued on.
"Can I get you guys anything to drink for starters?" Beth asked as she passed out the menu's.
"Umm....coke's all around?" A blonde both told Beth and asked her friends. At their corresponding nods Beth informed the teenagers that she would be right back with their drinks and to take their orders. As she moved around behind the counter Beth couldn't help but notice the kids staring at the only other customer in the diner.
Ten minutes later as Beth was leaving the very quiet teenagers table with their orders, having just dropped off their cokes, she couldn't stop herself from eavesdropping on their whispering,
"it HAS to be him."
"There is no way he's just chilling in a diner dude."
"Oh yea...well who else looks that much like him."
"I dunno...some dude."
Rolling her eyes lightly Beth once again went to refill the young man's coffee cup. This time however when she stopped she also leaned down and asked,
"Are they bothering you?"
"Hmm...? Oh...eh. I'll live. I've gotten used to it." He responded in that same very quiet, almost timid voice.
"So you are whoever they're whispering about then huh?" The brown eyed man ran a hand through his short brown hair and smiled before saying, "yea, I guess you could say that."
"Oh...ok. Cool. I still haven't figured out who you're supposed to be yet though so don't tell me. I'll get it...eventually." The man shocked Beth by actually bursting out laughing at her statement before placing some money on the table and heading out for the evening.
A few days later, Sunday to be percise, Beth was once again working an overnight at the diner. Her mystery customer hadn't been in since that night with the teenagers.
"Stupid kids," Beth mumbled as she wrapped silverware, "At least he woulda given me someone to talk to. But no, he had to be all famous. And they scared him off." A few seconds later when the door chimes ran, Beth raised her eyes and smiled widely at the site of her favorite late night coffee drinker. Grabbing the coffee pot and two cups this time Beth headed over to his booth. Setting the cups down she poured both and sat down across from him.
"I'm bored." She intiated the conversation bluntly. Perfectly maincured eyebrows raised at her statement. "Well I am. And the last time you were here you all but dared me to figure out who the hell you are. So it's time to play twenty questions."
"You really ARE bored."
"Eleven at night until five in the morning. Vegas or not, we aren't exactly near the strip." Beth said taking a sip of her black coffee. "Anyway...I was thinking of pla"
"Ryan Ross from Panic! at the Disco." He, excuse me, Ryan interrupted Beth and held his hand out to shake.
"...would I insult you incredibly by saying that means absolutely nothing to me whatsoever. Panic! at the Disco? Is that like a movie? TV Show?" Ryan chuckled in response, "I'm being serious dude."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well...that's refreshing. It's a band. My band."
"Oh, so what do you like sing or something?"
"Or something. I actually play guitar. and write." He said holding up the notebook Beth had yet to see him without.
"Oh....do you guys sing that Sugar song?" Ryan choked on the coffee he had just swallowed at her question. Once he had full control over his faculties again he answered, "No, that's Fall Out Boy. Our big song was 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies', the song about the god damned door?" Beth thought for a few minutes before finally sighing and say,
"Nope, sorry. I got nothin'."
"I think I like that."
"Well don't. It makes me weird. A bunch of teenagers could recognize you from across the room, with a hoodie over your head and glasses on and I thought you were a different band."
"Eh, it happens. What do you listen to?"
"Country and classic rock."
"Ding. Ding. Ding. That'd be why you thought I was just a regular dude."
"Actually, I think the fact that you ARE a regular dude makes you a regular dude. Don't believe the hype."
"Hype?"
"I lied. I didn't know who you were until this afternoon. That's the only reason I had any idea about that Sugar song. And you have no idea how hard it is to figure out who you are when I really had nothing to go on." Beth smirked at his shocked face before draining her coffee cup and getting up to get some work done. "Finish writing. Word on the street is you're supposed to be recording."
"Did you at least listen to any of the music?"
"...I didn't get QUITE that far."
"Hmm....ok." Ryan shrugged and absorbed himself into his notebook. A few hours later he waved at Beth as he left the diner once again leaving a hefty tip for the young waitress.
The next night Beth was working the same shift, and was just as bored in the empty diner.
"I'm surprised this place is even open twenty-four hours."
"Hi Ryan." Beth responded without turning around from where she was stacking glasses. Beth grabbed a coffee cup and the pot and as she turned she was surprised to see Ryan sitting at the counter this time holding out a slim red case.
"Here."
"What's that?"
"I'm pretty sure you mentioned college in passing at SOME point. Tell me you know what a cd is."
"Ha. fucking. ha." Beth replied as she took the case from the younger man. "Interesting....nice song titles. Fan of big words?"
"How'd you guess?" Ryan responded dryly.
"Just a few clues." Beth said as she opened the case and headed over to the cd player in the corner.
"You're going to listen to it now?"
"Umm...yes?"
"Do we have to?"
"You can leave. No one is holding a gun to your head." With that sentence Beth pushed play. About a half hour later Ryan spoke the first words that either had uttered since she hit play.
"Well?"
"It's....not terrible."
"I had a feeling you'd hate it."
"No. Hate is a very very strong word. I don't really hate anything, I just....it's not me ya know? I have to admit I liked the second half a LOT better, and the very last song was pretty fucking amazing. Very Beatlesque from the Seargant Pepper Album."
"Really?!"
"Yup....but do not take that to mean that I think it's anywhere near as good as The Beatles. Sorry kid. It's not."
"I'm not that much younger then you you know."
"You're enough. How did we get on this topic anyway?"
"I have no idea."
Beth came into work the next night and was surprised to find a note left for her.
Beth,
I'm heading out of town for a few days to do some writing and demo-ing with the rest of the band. I'll be back next week. Call me 555-555-1234.
Lo.Talk to you soon,
Ryan
"Who's the boy? He seemed a little young for you." Margie Thomas, the seventy year old diner owner croaked out. "And...very...well let's just say light in his loafers."
"That's Ryan. He's not gay Margie. And he's only a few year's younger then me. NOT that it really matters, he's just a regular customer I've taken to talking to on long nights." Beth said in response as she stuffed the note in her pocket. During the rest of the week she would find herself staring at the number and her cell phone debating the pros and cons of calling. Ryan's request never quite won out.
A week later right down to the day Beth was surprised to hear a knocking on her apartment door. Swinging the door open she blinked in surprised to see Ryan standing there with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slouched, and sun glasses pushed up on his head.
"Ok, I have the day off. You can track down your own damn coffee." was all Beth said as she turned to walk back into the apartment and immedately back to her bedroom to put on something more substansial then a tank top and boxers. "Oh and don't bother with pleasentries," she continued as she joined Ryan in the kitchen where he was fairing very well at making coffee for them, "I know the places is a dump. But its clean and cheap."
"I didn't say a thing."
"You were thinking it Mr. Rock Star." she mumbled as she took the cup he held out to her.
"You're the one who said not to buy into my own hype remember? I've taken that advice to heart."
"Sureeee you did."
"I did."
"You're wearing Armani."
"Am not."
"Sunglasses dude."
"You don't grow out of sunglasses. These were an investment." He said smugly as Beth took a seat on her small couch and he looked around the living room. Beth didn't force the issue and instead took a sip of her coffee.
"Hmm...this is good."
"Thanks, that's one thing I do well. My dad used to live on coffee." Ryan continued to wander around the small living room and kitchen area. "Is this what I missed out on by not going to college for more then a semester?"
"I graduated from college."
"This is such a college apartment."
"Is not."
"That wasn't an insult."
"oh."
"So....you wanna have sex?" Beth choked on her coffee at his question.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Is this some weird Mrs. Robinson thing? 'cause remember...only a few years older then you."
"No this is not some weird Mrs. Robinson thing. This is I think you're attractive, I think your attracted to me, I'm sick of girlfriends."
"Oh....well if that's the case. Yea sure why the fuck not. Bedroom's this way."
"Really?!" he squeaked out in surprise.
"Don't offer if you don't want it Ross." Beth said as she turned to head to the bedroom not paying attention to if he was following her or not.
A few hours later the two were laying in bed when Ryan sat up and asked,
"So how is this going to work?"
"I don't know Mr. Let's Have Sex."
"I didn't think quite that far ahead." He said pulling Beth closer and nibbled his way down her neck.
"Uh-uh. How is this going to work? You said you're sick of girlfriends. And quite frankly I don't want to be labeled "The Bitch" by your fans."
"So we fuck around every once in a while. Friends with benefits. It could work."
"In theory."
"Well....let's test that theory shall we? We can have a little fun together every now and then and go about our every day lives as normal. Perfect arrangment."
"Isn't that what hookers are for Mr. Ross?"
"I don't pay for sex."
"I always laugh when guys say that...trust me. You pay for sex."
"...Ok, I don't pay for sex with cash. Now hush up and get over here." Ryan grabbed her arms and rolled her underneath him and soon both of them forgot the previous conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, that was three months ago. Ryan has practically moved in, in theory at least. He spends every night in my bed, and he's gone by the morning. Ironically, since we started sleeping together we've nearly entirely stopped talking. Those random discussions we had for the few weeks leading up to this relationship of convience were more fulfilling for me then even his admitedly incredibly talented body. I shouldn't care. I know this. Friends with benefits; we layed it out on the table that first night. But I'm older, I'm more experienced. I know how these things work. Someone always feels stronger about the other person. Someone always falls in love. Funny enough in this case I didn't expect it to be me.
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A/N: So yea, I may or may not continue this based on reaction to it. I tried to finish it off at a spot where if I don't feel like continuing I don't have to. But if people LOVE it I might shoot for things from Ryan's perspective...or just keep going.
read/review.
He's out of town right now. Working on some things with his band. I'm still here in Vegas, still waiting around, going about my everyday life. Mainly because I'm a seperate part of his life. There is me and then there is Hollywood, and over the last three months since meeting him I've realized that never the two shall meet.
Let me back up and explain? It didn't even begin with him per say. It really began with me moving to Las Vegas from a small Virginia town intending on making a living as a writer. I'm not really sheltered, in fact, I've been around the block more then a few times if you get my meaning. I was just young and eager. Too bad in my infinate wisdom (and desire to move out to a big city that I thought would provide tons of inspiration) I didn't realize how illogical this was as a plan to pay rent. Therefore, job hunting. My complete and total lack of skills I had when it came to anything involving cards kept me away from a job as a dealer. That left cocktail waitress, stripper, or maid. I chose the diner near my apartment instead. I had waited tables all throughout highschool and college at my parents restaurant in Virginia; therefore, I logically figured would be the best choice for me while here. I wasn't wrong. At least not completely. You see, something you need to know about me, something incredibly important actually. I don't listen to music that came out after 1985, unless it's country. Call it close minded if you will, but I just don't care. I'm twenty-nine years old and I couldn't tell you what's played on Top 40 radio if my life depended on it. It's just me. And it's that little quirk of mine that basically began my problems. If I hadn't been so damn curious I could have avoided this whole situation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ringing of the bell over the door grabbed Beth's attention briefly. Glancing up she saw five teenagers troop in and head over to a corner booth. Nodding to them that she had seen them Beth grabbed menu's and a coffee pot before walking around from behind the counter, pausing briefly to fill the cup of the young man who had spent every night for the past week in a booth writing in a note book. Beth smiled at his whispered "thank you" and continued on.
"Can I get you guys anything to drink for starters?" Beth asked as she passed out the menu's.
"Umm....coke's all around?" A blonde both told Beth and asked her friends. At their corresponding nods Beth informed the teenagers that she would be right back with their drinks and to take their orders. As she moved around behind the counter Beth couldn't help but notice the kids staring at the only other customer in the diner.
Ten minutes later as Beth was leaving the very quiet teenagers table with their orders, having just dropped off their cokes, she couldn't stop herself from eavesdropping on their whispering,
"it HAS to be him."
"There is no way he's just chilling in a diner dude."
"Oh yea...well who else looks that much like him."
"I dunno...some dude."
Rolling her eyes lightly Beth once again went to refill the young man's coffee cup. This time however when she stopped she also leaned down and asked,
"Are they bothering you?"
"Hmm...? Oh...eh. I'll live. I've gotten used to it." He responded in that same very quiet, almost timid voice.
"So you are whoever they're whispering about then huh?" The brown eyed man ran a hand through his short brown hair and smiled before saying, "yea, I guess you could say that."
"Oh...ok. Cool. I still haven't figured out who you're supposed to be yet though so don't tell me. I'll get it...eventually." The man shocked Beth by actually bursting out laughing at her statement before placing some money on the table and heading out for the evening.
A few days later, Sunday to be percise, Beth was once again working an overnight at the diner. Her mystery customer hadn't been in since that night with the teenagers.
"Stupid kids," Beth mumbled as she wrapped silverware, "At least he woulda given me someone to talk to. But no, he had to be all famous. And they scared him off." A few seconds later when the door chimes ran, Beth raised her eyes and smiled widely at the site of her favorite late night coffee drinker. Grabbing the coffee pot and two cups this time Beth headed over to his booth. Setting the cups down she poured both and sat down across from him.
"I'm bored." She intiated the conversation bluntly. Perfectly maincured eyebrows raised at her statement. "Well I am. And the last time you were here you all but dared me to figure out who the hell you are. So it's time to play twenty questions."
"You really ARE bored."
"Eleven at night until five in the morning. Vegas or not, we aren't exactly near the strip." Beth said taking a sip of her black coffee. "Anyway...I was thinking of pla"
"Ryan Ross from Panic! at the Disco." He, excuse me, Ryan interrupted Beth and held his hand out to shake.
"...would I insult you incredibly by saying that means absolutely nothing to me whatsoever. Panic! at the Disco? Is that like a movie? TV Show?" Ryan chuckled in response, "I'm being serious dude."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well...that's refreshing. It's a band. My band."
"Oh, so what do you like sing or something?"
"Or something. I actually play guitar. and write." He said holding up the notebook Beth had yet to see him without.
"Oh....do you guys sing that Sugar song?" Ryan choked on the coffee he had just swallowed at her question. Once he had full control over his faculties again he answered, "No, that's Fall Out Boy. Our big song was 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies', the song about the god damned door?" Beth thought for a few minutes before finally sighing and say,
"Nope, sorry. I got nothin'."
"I think I like that."
"Well don't. It makes me weird. A bunch of teenagers could recognize you from across the room, with a hoodie over your head and glasses on and I thought you were a different band."
"Eh, it happens. What do you listen to?"
"Country and classic rock."
"Ding. Ding. Ding. That'd be why you thought I was just a regular dude."
"Actually, I think the fact that you ARE a regular dude makes you a regular dude. Don't believe the hype."
"Hype?"
"I lied. I didn't know who you were until this afternoon. That's the only reason I had any idea about that Sugar song. And you have no idea how hard it is to figure out who you are when I really had nothing to go on." Beth smirked at his shocked face before draining her coffee cup and getting up to get some work done. "Finish writing. Word on the street is you're supposed to be recording."
"Did you at least listen to any of the music?"
"...I didn't get QUITE that far."
"Hmm....ok." Ryan shrugged and absorbed himself into his notebook. A few hours later he waved at Beth as he left the diner once again leaving a hefty tip for the young waitress.
The next night Beth was working the same shift, and was just as bored in the empty diner.
"I'm surprised this place is even open twenty-four hours."
"Hi Ryan." Beth responded without turning around from where she was stacking glasses. Beth grabbed a coffee cup and the pot and as she turned she was surprised to see Ryan sitting at the counter this time holding out a slim red case.
"Here."
"What's that?"
"I'm pretty sure you mentioned college in passing at SOME point. Tell me you know what a cd is."
"Ha. fucking. ha." Beth replied as she took the case from the younger man. "Interesting....nice song titles. Fan of big words?"
"How'd you guess?" Ryan responded dryly.
"Just a few clues." Beth said as she opened the case and headed over to the cd player in the corner.
"You're going to listen to it now?"
"Umm...yes?"
"Do we have to?"
"You can leave. No one is holding a gun to your head." With that sentence Beth pushed play. About a half hour later Ryan spoke the first words that either had uttered since she hit play.
"Well?"
"It's....not terrible."
"I had a feeling you'd hate it."
"No. Hate is a very very strong word. I don't really hate anything, I just....it's not me ya know? I have to admit I liked the second half a LOT better, and the very last song was pretty fucking amazing. Very Beatlesque from the Seargant Pepper Album."
"Really?!"
"Yup....but do not take that to mean that I think it's anywhere near as good as The Beatles. Sorry kid. It's not."
"I'm not that much younger then you you know."
"You're enough. How did we get on this topic anyway?"
"I have no idea."
Beth came into work the next night and was surprised to find a note left for her.
Beth,
I'm heading out of town for a few days to do some writing and demo-ing with the rest of the band. I'll be back next week. Call me 555-555-1234.
Lo.Talk to you soon,
Ryan
"Who's the boy? He seemed a little young for you." Margie Thomas, the seventy year old diner owner croaked out. "And...very...well let's just say light in his loafers."
"That's Ryan. He's not gay Margie. And he's only a few year's younger then me. NOT that it really matters, he's just a regular customer I've taken to talking to on long nights." Beth said in response as she stuffed the note in her pocket. During the rest of the week she would find herself staring at the number and her cell phone debating the pros and cons of calling. Ryan's request never quite won out.
A week later right down to the day Beth was surprised to hear a knocking on her apartment door. Swinging the door open she blinked in surprised to see Ryan standing there with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slouched, and sun glasses pushed up on his head.
"Ok, I have the day off. You can track down your own damn coffee." was all Beth said as she turned to walk back into the apartment and immedately back to her bedroom to put on something more substansial then a tank top and boxers. "Oh and don't bother with pleasentries," she continued as she joined Ryan in the kitchen where he was fairing very well at making coffee for them, "I know the places is a dump. But its clean and cheap."
"I didn't say a thing."
"You were thinking it Mr. Rock Star." she mumbled as she took the cup he held out to her.
"You're the one who said not to buy into my own hype remember? I've taken that advice to heart."
"Sureeee you did."
"I did."
"You're wearing Armani."
"Am not."
"Sunglasses dude."
"You don't grow out of sunglasses. These were an investment." He said smugly as Beth took a seat on her small couch and he looked around the living room. Beth didn't force the issue and instead took a sip of her coffee.
"Hmm...this is good."
"Thanks, that's one thing I do well. My dad used to live on coffee." Ryan continued to wander around the small living room and kitchen area. "Is this what I missed out on by not going to college for more then a semester?"
"I graduated from college."
"This is such a college apartment."
"Is not."
"That wasn't an insult."
"oh."
"So....you wanna have sex?" Beth choked on her coffee at his question.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Is this some weird Mrs. Robinson thing? 'cause remember...only a few years older then you."
"No this is not some weird Mrs. Robinson thing. This is I think you're attractive, I think your attracted to me, I'm sick of girlfriends."
"Oh....well if that's the case. Yea sure why the fuck not. Bedroom's this way."
"Really?!" he squeaked out in surprise.
"Don't offer if you don't want it Ross." Beth said as she turned to head to the bedroom not paying attention to if he was following her or not.
A few hours later the two were laying in bed when Ryan sat up and asked,
"So how is this going to work?"
"I don't know Mr. Let's Have Sex."
"I didn't think quite that far ahead." He said pulling Beth closer and nibbled his way down her neck.
"Uh-uh. How is this going to work? You said you're sick of girlfriends. And quite frankly I don't want to be labeled "The Bitch" by your fans."
"So we fuck around every once in a while. Friends with benefits. It could work."
"In theory."
"Well....let's test that theory shall we? We can have a little fun together every now and then and go about our every day lives as normal. Perfect arrangment."
"Isn't that what hookers are for Mr. Ross?"
"I don't pay for sex."
"I always laugh when guys say that...trust me. You pay for sex."
"...Ok, I don't pay for sex with cash. Now hush up and get over here." Ryan grabbed her arms and rolled her underneath him and soon both of them forgot the previous conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, that was three months ago. Ryan has practically moved in, in theory at least. He spends every night in my bed, and he's gone by the morning. Ironically, since we started sleeping together we've nearly entirely stopped talking. Those random discussions we had for the few weeks leading up to this relationship of convience were more fulfilling for me then even his admitedly incredibly talented body. I shouldn't care. I know this. Friends with benefits; we layed it out on the table that first night. But I'm older, I'm more experienced. I know how these things work. Someone always feels stronger about the other person. Someone always falls in love. Funny enough in this case I didn't expect it to be me.
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A/N: So yea, I may or may not continue this based on reaction to it. I tried to finish it off at a spot where if I don't feel like continuing I don't have to. But if people LOVE it I might shoot for things from Ryan's perspective...or just keep going.
read/review.
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