All she ever wanted was to be happy. But fame got to her. All she ever wanted was to be perfect.
"What caused her to do what she did do you think?" The reporter asked. He had gone threw this so many times. Oh so many times. He would never let them truly know about everything that had happened, how her soul had shattered and broken into a million pieces, just like her sanity.
He always gave the same simple answer. And it was the pure truth, everyone believed there to be some deeper meaning to it but there never was. It was a simple obsession that she had discovered when she was in her youth. It had grown beyond obsession, it was her life she spent nights working on it, working to perfect her self to fit its standards. And every time she was shot down or insulted that left another crack in her illusion, in her sanity.
He dug his cigarette into the ash tray putting it out, and blew the final wisps of smoke from his mouth, his cloudy grey eyes crazed of there reporter half closed. Then they closed and his mouth parted slightly.
"She was obsessed with Beauty."
She slipped on the blood soaked bathroom floor, hitting her head on the side of the tub. She screamed out and her screams did not go unheard. Her band mates, her best friends, rushed to the source of the scream. They were greeted by a whole different girl, not the Tossico that they knew.
She was lying on the floor, tears flooding from her eyes. Blood flowing from her lip, head and arms. A blood stained knife was held by her blood stained hand. She dug the knife straight into her arm, screaming. Raquel was the first to react.
He wretched the knife from her arm and threw it away. "What the hell Tossica?" He yelled his face red from anger. "No!" She screamed throwing her hands to her face covering it blood red. "Give it back! I need to be beautiful! I need to rid my self of the dirty, ugly blood." She slammed her first down on the ground breaking one of her knuckles.
That was when he realized that this time it was not just one of her little episodes. It was not just a small freak out that she would recover from. This time, her sanity had been wiped clean from her mind. "Kevin go call the fucking police, and Travis call Gerard!"
As they left Raquel picked up Tossico and laid her down on the white couch, it immediately staining red. "Dammit Tossico what the fuck is the matter with you!?" He yelled at her semi-conscious form. Her words barely escaped her lips, "Beauty is only skin deep. I wanted to make my insides beautiful too."
"How did you feel the moment you walked in and saw your best friend like that?" The reporter pried. He wondered, how had he felt? It was so long ago. Could he even feel anymore? No probably not. So would he be able to recall his feelings from before?
At first he felt like his whole world had shattered, she was dead. But then when he realized she was still alive he felt his rage explode with in him, but he also felt pain, her pain. All she wanted was beauty; all she wanted was to fit in. All she wanted was to be accepted. All she ever wanted was to be perfect.
He shrugged his shoulders, his black hair sliding off his shoulders. "I felt what any normal person would feel, I felt fear. I feared for her."
The reporter nodded. Nosey little bitch she was. She tapped her pencil on her notebook thinking for a moment. "What were the last words she ever spoke? You were there weren't you?"
He nodded. He was there. The worlds she last spot shattered his soul into a million pieces, for she was the sanest she had ever been the moment she died. She finally figured it out the minute she died.
The ambulance showed up 15 minutes after that. Travis had called Gerard and told him to meet them at the hospital. They paced around the empty waiting room waiting for the doctor to come out and give them news of her.
Two and half hours ticked by. Two and a half hours of painless torture. Two hours and a half hours of wondering if a person that they all cared so deeply about would live or die.
The doctor walked out, his wholesome white robes stained with Tossico's filthy mad blood. He sighed and sat down across from them. "Well, her condition is stable at the moment; shes lost a lot of blood and were having some problems with her. We try to keep giving her more blood, she rips out the IV. She keeps yelling something about the blood being poisoned, and ugly."
Gerard looked very confused. He was oblivious to her obsession, her passion as she liked to call it in her saner moods. The Doctor continued, "Were not sure at this point whether she will live or die. All we can do is pray." It was silent, until Kevin slammed his fist on the table.
"Dammit! We cant pray! God has already forsaken her and she doesnt believe in him anyways." Tears were shinning in his eyes. He couldn't loose another person he loved. The doctor looked quit taken back. He cleared his throat. "You may proceed this way to see here."
They followed. The sight of her was ghastly. Tubes in her nose, in her arms, an IV hanging loosely by her arm. Her skin was pale and eyes half closed. They all sat down around her, the air was heavy, as if they were already mourning for her death. Raquel took her left hand and Gerard took her right.
"Why? Why did you do this?" Gerard pleaded. Her eyes fell closed and opened again. "I'm not good enough for you Gee." She answered and squeezed his hand; he squeezed his eyes shut as tears built up.
She turned too Raquel. "I finally figured it out. There is no such thing as beauty. Were all fucking ugly creatures." She answered smiling. Raquel smiled too, finally she got it. He shook his head at her, "No Tossico. Right now, youre the most beautiful person in the world. No one could ever judge your exquisite beauty."
She smiled a true smile. Something they had all missed something that had not been seen in years. And her eyes fell shut again, but this time they did not open. The deafening silence was broken by the loud beep from the machine monitoring her life and the moving of the doctors.
Gerard finally let his tears fall. Travis pulled his legs up to his chest and stared blankly at her. Kevin cried full out into his hands. Raquel slowly let go over her hands and whispered in a strangled voice, "Goodbye."
The death of a great beauty effects all.
But death is not always the end
The legacy of a beautiful sinner, and beautiful disaster, a beautiful girl will forever live on in the hearts of the ones that loved them
For death is just but the next great adventure
And there immortal soul shall forever live on in the hearts of those who loved and were loved by that person.
Let me take you through the heartbreaking life of Tossico Marvel
For this death, is only the beginning