Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > And I'm Telling You I'm A Fake

Chapter 9

by killmyending 1 review

Nothing ever goes to plan, does it?

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Romance - Published: 2007-07-12 - Updated: 2007-07-12 - 1608 words

Authors Note: Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. I appreciate them as always. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had half of it written and then I began to get writers block as soon as I was faced with how Brendon and Ryan's conversation was to go. But I sorted that out, hopefully, in a decent way. Despite what it seems like I still haven't decided whether this will be a slash or a het fic yet.



Brendon moaned and rolled over so he was face down into the mattress.


"What?" He groaned, placing a tentative hand on his aching head.

"Just checking to see if you were awake, that's all."

"Well I'm awake now and my head is fucking killing me." He said, finally rolling over to face the person that had woken him.

It was Parker. She was leaning over the bed staring at Brendon concernedly. Brendon noticed that there was a tall glass of water and a couple of aspirin sitting on the bedside table and assumed that she must've put them there.

Brendon stretched out on his back and placed his open hands over his face, letting out a low sigh.

"What'd I do last night?" He asked, pulling his hands away from his face so that he could stare up at Parker who had shuffled over next to him on the bed and stretched her legs out in front of her.

"Drunk yourself into oblivion. What else does it feel like?" She said.

"Like I ran headfirst into a truck."

"Well I can assure you, you didn't."

"Can I have those aspirin now please?" Brendon asked, reaching out a hand.

Parker picked up the little white tablets and dropped them into Brendon's open palm.

"Do you want water?" Parker offered as Brendon slid upright in the bed, clutching his head and groaning at the change of position.

He mumbled something and grabbed for the glass in her hand. Within seconds he'd swallowed the little white pills with a mouthful of water.

He let out a little groan, passed the glass back to Parker and flopped back down on the mattress. He buried his face in the fabric of Parker's jeans and let out a few shuddering breaths.

"Brendon stop being dramatic."

"But it hurts." He protested.

"I know it hurts but does it have to be as a dramatic as a Broadway musical when you get a hangover?"

"Yeah, it does." Ryan answered quietly from the doorway.

Brendon lifted his head a little so he could peer over Parker's thighs to see Ryan but dropped his head back down when he realized how much it hurt. He decided he wasn't going to sit up, or move, or do anything until the painkillers kicked in.

"Hey Ryan." Parker greeted him brightly.

"Hey Parker. Can I talk to Brendon for a bit?" He said softly, eyeing Brendon who still had his face buried in between Parker's jeans and the bed sheets.

"Absolutely." Parker replied, getting up off the bed.

"Parker.." Brendon whined.

"What?" She said sharply, spinning around so she could face him.

"Nothing." Brendon replied reluctantly, flashing some semblance of a grin.

"Thanks Parker." Ryan said touching her arm. "I'll ask him, alright?"

Parker nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.

She contemplated going down the hallway to thank Jon for getting Brendon back to the hotel in one piece but decided that Jon would probably be dealing with his own hangover.

Instead she slumped against the wall outside the bedroom and took a deep breath. So much could go wrong for so many people. Anything could happen now. All she could do was wait… And hope that Brendon didn't return his feelings. She mentally reprimanded herself for thinking such a selfish thought. There's no way this could turn out good for everybody, she thought and slid down the wall outside Brendon's hotel room until she was sitting on the floor, her head cradled in her hands.

She was waiting.


As soon as Parker closed the door, Ryan felt vulnerable. He'd come to Brendon's hotel room confident and self-assured, or he was telling himself that, that's the way he was feeling. And he'd believed it that was until that door closed and the latch clicked into place.


Brendon was lying on the bed with one side of his face still pressed into the covers, watching Ryan as intently as he could muster. He had his hands drawn up to just below his chin and his legs were bent slightly at the knee.

"Brendon I.." Ryan tried again.

Brendon shifted on the bed so that his head was resting on the pillow and then he patted the bed beside him.

"Ryan, shut up for a minute and come and sit down." Brendon said.

Ryan looked at Brendon and then at the empty space beside him. This was just bringing back memories of last night but he sighed and sat onto the bed next to Brendon. He seated himself with his back against the headboard and glanced down at him.

"What were you going to say before Ry?"

"Brendon, how much of last night do you remember?"

"Almost nothing." Brendon said, pulling himself up so he could rest his back against the headboard.

Ryan laughed. /Almost nothing/. It'd be just his luck that what he did remember was what Ryan wanted him to forget.

"So what do you remember?"

"Gee, Mr. Twenty questions, hmm.. What do I remember? Let's see.. I remember snogging Parker in some upstairs bedroom late in the night." Brendon said, looking over at Ryan, he noticed Ryan visibly relax and release the breath he must've been holding. "Or was that you?"

Ryan's cheeks flushed a rosy pink and he tensed up considerably.

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked, trying to shrug off his initial reaction.

"Well I think Parker said something last night, she mentioned your name. Something about me noticing that it was you." Brendon smirked.

"Brendon, you were drunk, how do you know you weren't imagining it all?"

"If I was imagining it all why did you react that way?"

"What way?"

"You went tense all of a sudden and you're still blushing now." Brendon said pointedly.

Ryan's blush deepened and crept down to the collar of his shirt.

"It wasn't." He said. "It wasn't me."

After a silence of Brendon staring at him with an intense gaze, he finally spoke.

"Ryan, I knew it was you." He said.

"I said it wasn't me." Ryan said angrily.

He couldn't believe that Brendon knew that it was him, that he had put him in that position or even in this position now. He couldn't believe that Brendon could be so selfish and completely disregard Parker. Sure, he'd been drunk but obviously not drunk enough to not know what he was doing.

"It was you. I know it was, so stop trying to deny it." Brendon said with narrowed brows.

"/Fine/. Then I won't deny it. It was me but why the fuck did you do it?" Ryan almost shouted.

"Why do you think, Ryan?" Brendon said dangerously. "You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

"I-- I don't.. I-- I didn't.." Ryan stammered.

Brendon cocked an eyebrow skeptically at Ryan who was still shaking his head.

"How much are you lying right now?"

"I'm not l--lying."

"So, do you want me to test that?"

Ryan shook his head profusely. "No." He breathed.

Brendon's eyebrow inched its way upwards again as he watched Ryan try and refuse what he knew he wanted to accept.

He was still shaking his head when Brendon reached out a hand cupped Ryan's cheek to stop him from shaking his head. He was inching face cautiously towards Ryan's.

"D--don't.." Ryan breathed, but Brendon could see in his eyes that he didn't really mean it and he was hardly trying to move away, if anything he too was inching towards Brendon.

"Don't what?" Brendon whispered, as his lips were almost touching Ryan's.

Ryan tilted his head back so his neck was exposed to Brendon's lips. He shuddered as Brendon's soft lips connected with the bare skin of his neck.

"D--don't.." Ryan gasped again. He could hardly even form a word, let alone a sentence, to tell Brendon how he felt.

Ryan hands grasped Brendon's shirt tightly as the younger boy left short, hot kisses along his neck.

"Brendon I--I can't." Ryan stuttered, pushing Brendon away from him as much as it was an effort to do so. "What about Parker?"

Brendon stopped, as if he had almost forgotten completely about Parker.

"Oh man." Brendon groaned. He'd been so distracted by Ryan that for those 10 minutes or so he'd forgotten about her. "This is so fucked up. I'm sorry Ry."

"Apologize to Parker, not just me." Ryan said. He'd regained some semblance of composure and busied himself by straightening his shirt and vest before standing up.

"We'll figure something out Ry. I want you." He said sincerely. The look in his eyes agreed with what he was saying. "But I want her too."

"You can't have both of us Brendon." Ryan said exiting the room and leaving Brendon alone on his hotel bed.

When Ryan got out into the hallway he ran his fingers along his neck where Brendon's kisses had lain on his skin. In one sense that hadn't gone as terribly as he had expected but now he was more confused then relieved.

"What happened?" Parker asked from her place where she still sat, on the floor.

"He, uh, he kissed me."
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