Categories > Original > Humor > Five Minute Soap Dish
Week 35
“Ah, hello,” Steve said nervously. Evelyn raised her hand, and Steve instinctively struck up his hands defensively, “Don’t slap me!”
“I was just waiving, arsehole,” Evelyn said, “What you did to me, and Joanne, a slap won’t be enough.”
“Oh yeah, I remember,” Steve said, shuffling uncomfortably.
“Go on, Steve,” Gia said behind him, “Show me how much you’ve changed. Show these two how you’re not the bastard they knew.”
Steve sighed, and mumbled, “I’m sorry.”
“What?” Evelyn and Gothic Rose shouted at him, “Is that all we get-a sorry?”
“Well, I’m very sorry. You guys, I truly messed around with you guys, for not really much in the way of a reward for anyone,” Steve explained, “I mean, I just wanted to fuck you, and that’s really not that important in the greater world. There wasn’t any lasting consequences, was there? Please tell me there wasn’t.”
The two girls were confused. Gothic Rose piped up, “Well I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, that’s not what I mean-well actually, it’s great that you’re not pregnant, because the guy I was…he would have totally abandoned you if you were but…” Steve drained off as he saw the two get even angrier, “But what I really wanted to know is, did you two make up? Are you girls friends again?”
“No. You truly fucked that relationship up big time, Steve.” Evelyn said, eyes clenched.
“But why? You two were the closest friends when I met you. Evelyn, you even wouldn’t let me dance with you until you made sure Joanne wasn’t lonely. But you let me, a guy you now know was a total arsehole break you two up forever. Why?”
Tears were beginning to develop in Evelyn eyes, just as they had at the dinner party.
“She believed you over me. You, a guy who slept with her, over me, a friend she knew from primary school,” she shouted, pointed at Gothic Rose.
“Hey,” her friend shouted back at her, “You lead along the guy you knew I was interested in, and when he accused me of harassing him, you believed him over me.”
“Stop!” Steve shouted at the pair, “Can’t you guys see? You made exactly the same mistake. You believed me over your best friend. You each did the exact same wrong, and so you can’t blame the other.”
“You’ve known each other for years, cared about each other for years-and you let yourself be broken up because one guy comes along and splits you up-and you don’t even defend each other against him?” Steve asked, taking a breath, “I was a total arse to you both, and I’ll have to live with it. I broke up your friendships, I admit it. But I’m not going to be blamed for you two both being too proud to admit you made a mistake, forgiving each other, and being friends again.”
Evelyn just got madder, “You’re going to sit there, and tell us what to do with our lives? Where do you get off?”
“Think about this, both of you. I haven’t seen either of you for a week and a half. Ten days where there was no manipulation by me, and nothing to stop you from seeing each other. I’ll gladly take the blame for the months I lead you two on, but you can’t blame me for those ten days,” Steve said, starring straight into Evelyn’s eyes, “So perhaps you should find out why you didn’t connect in those ten days. Do yourself a favour and find out together. There’s a free table nearby.”
There was silence, as Steve’s words sunk in.
“Okay, we’ll do that,” Gothic Rose said, turning to Evelyn, “If you want to.”
“Yeah, okay,” she agreed, and turning to Steve snarled, “But I’m not saying thanks to you for suggesting it.”
“Don’t, I don’t deserve it,” Steve said, “Let me say thank you instead.”
“Why?”
“Evelyn, I’ve screwed a lot of girls, and left them. A lot. I mean, a LOT of girls. But, I never saw the aftermath of what I did. I was usually the guy who crept out at dawn, and was never seen again,” Steve explained, “You guys made me see how my actions actually hurt people, and then maybe I realised I don’t want to be the guy that hurts people anymore. I just wanna make one person feel happy. And making me realise that-you can’t understand how important that will be for me.”
“We’re going off now,” Evelyn said, “I hope you’re telling the truth.”
“So do I,” Steve said with a coy smile, “Goodbye Evelyn, Joanne.”
The two girls wished him goodbye and left for another table. Steve turned to Gia with a slightly, but not excessively, smug face.
“So, have I showed you how much I’ve changed? Not only have I managed to respond to them, I made them better off than when I last saw them,” Steve said, “Have I proven myself, yet?”
“I’m not convinced. Not even close to convinced,” Gia said, getting up to leave, “What you did to those two, it was just fancy footwork, like always. Convincing them not to hate you, and convincing them to sleep with you would be the same thing.”
“So I can’t convince you? I’m playing a losing game?” Steve asked.
“Yep, exactly. You’re always going to be a guy who uses others for his amusement. So give up trying to convince me otherwise,” Gia said, turning to leave.
“Okay, just one thing Gia. Ask yourself this. Who just used two innocent girls to make another person uncomfortable? And who just got these two girls to reconcile differences, fixing mistakes he made?” Steve asked her, “And then ask yourself, who’s really the bad person here? You’re so certain that I belong in the evil box, that maybe you’ve forgotten where you’re supposed to be.”
Steve walked alongside her, and pulled out his wallet, giving her some money.
“What’s that for?”
“The drinks we just ordered, and the extras for the meal I ran out on,” Steve said, walking off.
“Ah, hello,” Steve said nervously. Evelyn raised her hand, and Steve instinctively struck up his hands defensively, “Don’t slap me!”
“I was just waiving, arsehole,” Evelyn said, “What you did to me, and Joanne, a slap won’t be enough.”
“Oh yeah, I remember,” Steve said, shuffling uncomfortably.
“Go on, Steve,” Gia said behind him, “Show me how much you’ve changed. Show these two how you’re not the bastard they knew.”
Steve sighed, and mumbled, “I’m sorry.”
“What?” Evelyn and Gothic Rose shouted at him, “Is that all we get-a sorry?”
“Well, I’m very sorry. You guys, I truly messed around with you guys, for not really much in the way of a reward for anyone,” Steve explained, “I mean, I just wanted to fuck you, and that’s really not that important in the greater world. There wasn’t any lasting consequences, was there? Please tell me there wasn’t.”
The two girls were confused. Gothic Rose piped up, “Well I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, that’s not what I mean-well actually, it’s great that you’re not pregnant, because the guy I was…he would have totally abandoned you if you were but…” Steve drained off as he saw the two get even angrier, “But what I really wanted to know is, did you two make up? Are you girls friends again?”
“No. You truly fucked that relationship up big time, Steve.” Evelyn said, eyes clenched.
“But why? You two were the closest friends when I met you. Evelyn, you even wouldn’t let me dance with you until you made sure Joanne wasn’t lonely. But you let me, a guy you now know was a total arsehole break you two up forever. Why?”
Tears were beginning to develop in Evelyn eyes, just as they had at the dinner party.
“She believed you over me. You, a guy who slept with her, over me, a friend she knew from primary school,” she shouted, pointed at Gothic Rose.
“Hey,” her friend shouted back at her, “You lead along the guy you knew I was interested in, and when he accused me of harassing him, you believed him over me.”
“Stop!” Steve shouted at the pair, “Can’t you guys see? You made exactly the same mistake. You believed me over your best friend. You each did the exact same wrong, and so you can’t blame the other.”
“You’ve known each other for years, cared about each other for years-and you let yourself be broken up because one guy comes along and splits you up-and you don’t even defend each other against him?” Steve asked, taking a breath, “I was a total arse to you both, and I’ll have to live with it. I broke up your friendships, I admit it. But I’m not going to be blamed for you two both being too proud to admit you made a mistake, forgiving each other, and being friends again.”
Evelyn just got madder, “You’re going to sit there, and tell us what to do with our lives? Where do you get off?”
“Think about this, both of you. I haven’t seen either of you for a week and a half. Ten days where there was no manipulation by me, and nothing to stop you from seeing each other. I’ll gladly take the blame for the months I lead you two on, but you can’t blame me for those ten days,” Steve said, starring straight into Evelyn’s eyes, “So perhaps you should find out why you didn’t connect in those ten days. Do yourself a favour and find out together. There’s a free table nearby.”
There was silence, as Steve’s words sunk in.
“Okay, we’ll do that,” Gothic Rose said, turning to Evelyn, “If you want to.”
“Yeah, okay,” she agreed, and turning to Steve snarled, “But I’m not saying thanks to you for suggesting it.”
“Don’t, I don’t deserve it,” Steve said, “Let me say thank you instead.”
“Why?”
“Evelyn, I’ve screwed a lot of girls, and left them. A lot. I mean, a LOT of girls. But, I never saw the aftermath of what I did. I was usually the guy who crept out at dawn, and was never seen again,” Steve explained, “You guys made me see how my actions actually hurt people, and then maybe I realised I don’t want to be the guy that hurts people anymore. I just wanna make one person feel happy. And making me realise that-you can’t understand how important that will be for me.”
“We’re going off now,” Evelyn said, “I hope you’re telling the truth.”
“So do I,” Steve said with a coy smile, “Goodbye Evelyn, Joanne.”
The two girls wished him goodbye and left for another table. Steve turned to Gia with a slightly, but not excessively, smug face.
“So, have I showed you how much I’ve changed? Not only have I managed to respond to them, I made them better off than when I last saw them,” Steve said, “Have I proven myself, yet?”
“I’m not convinced. Not even close to convinced,” Gia said, getting up to leave, “What you did to those two, it was just fancy footwork, like always. Convincing them not to hate you, and convincing them to sleep with you would be the same thing.”
“So I can’t convince you? I’m playing a losing game?” Steve asked.
“Yep, exactly. You’re always going to be a guy who uses others for his amusement. So give up trying to convince me otherwise,” Gia said, turning to leave.
“Okay, just one thing Gia. Ask yourself this. Who just used two innocent girls to make another person uncomfortable? And who just got these two girls to reconcile differences, fixing mistakes he made?” Steve asked her, “And then ask yourself, who’s really the bad person here? You’re so certain that I belong in the evil box, that maybe you’ve forgotten where you’re supposed to be.”
Steve walked alongside her, and pulled out his wallet, giving her some money.
“What’s that for?”
“The drinks we just ordered, and the extras for the meal I ran out on,” Steve said, walking off.
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