Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > It's Not Like It Hurts That Much Anyway
Chapter Twenty Seven
3 reviewsWilliam realizes something. Ellie comes over to talk about feelings. William cries. He'll never be happy.
0Unrated
William’s POV-
As I laid, sprawled across the couch the next morning, my head on my temples, I groaned in agony.
I was suffering from a major headache.
I was never good with dealing with pain, especially early in the morning.
“Oh god…” I moaned.
“Oh god, please…just kill me now. Spare the trouble of putting me through all this agony, and just kill me now…” I pleaded.
Suddenly, I heard someone come through the door.
“Who are you talking too?” I heard.
I shifted my eyes, from my knees, to the doorway.
Ellie.
“Oh…I have a headache…” I said, grasping my head in a different position, and groaning.
“Ah, I see. Do you own any Advil?” she asked.
“Uh…in the medicine cabinet…above the sink…I’m in too much pain…” I said.
She rolled her eyes, and chuckled, as she waltzed off to grab me some relief.
Not soon enough, as I was suffering, she came waltzing on back.
“Here, take these.” she said, pulling me up, and handing me three Advil pills.
I shoved them in my mouth, and swallowed.
“Drink up.” she said, handing me a glass of water as I washed them down.
I swallowed again.
“Thank you.” I said, looking up at her.
“Hey, no problem.” she said.
“Where’s Sisky?” I asked.
“Sisky is shopping. He needs new “threads” for tour.” she said.
“Oh, tour shopping already?” I asked.
“Well, you guys only have a month left…” she said.
I nodded.
“Yeah, but I’m a procrastinator.” I told her, feeling my headache slowly start to feel.
She smiled, and giggled a bit.
“Yes, you are.” she said, messing up my hair.
“Question?” I asked her.
“Anything?” she said, sitting.
“Do you-like my hair?” I asked.
“What?” she asked.
I reached for my hair, tugged a lock, and asked again.
“Do you like it? Is it ugly?” I asked her.
She started laughing.
“What?” I asked.
She slowly gained her composure, and shook her head.
“What?” I asked, again.
“William, that’s not questionable. Everyone, and I mean, everyone loves your hair. It’s amazing. Why?” She asked, running three fingers through my mane.
“Well.” I said, sighing.
“I came about this close to cutting the entire lot off last night…” I said, showing her a tiny measurement with my fingers.
“WHAT!” she said, immediately slapping me across the face.
I held my face.
“Bitch.” I chuckled.
Then, I turned to look at her. She had the straightest face on.
“I didn’t though, and I’m not planning on it…I don’t know what came over me, really…” I said.
She shook her head.
“I almost can’t believe that…” she said.
“I know…I know…really stupid…I know.” I said.
“That’s so gay…” she said.
It was silent.
I curled my lips in.
“Thanks.” I said. I know how she meant it. It’s pretty funny actually, she acts like a middle schooler, I swear.
She gasped, and covered her mouth.
I just bit my lip, and chuckled.
“I’m so sorry William!” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck.
She let go.
“Hey, it’s cool.” I said.
“No…no it’s not…” she said.
“I’m fine, really…no offensive taken whatsoever.” I said.
“I shouldn’t say those things….it’s a stupid comeback anyway…it’s a stupid word…” she said.
“Hey, I said it was alright. Don’t worry about it.” I said.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yeah, positive. It’s not like it hurts that much anyway. That I can’t have Pete, that is.” I said.
She nodded.
“You really love him, don’t you?” she asked, in a somber tone.
I sighed.
“Yeah. I really do.” I said.
“Tell me how you feel.” she said.
“What?” I asked, kind of stimulated, switching my position, into a substantial sit.
“Tell me everything. How do you feel every time you see him?” she asked.
“Well, I get these butterflies in my stomach.” I said, motioning my hands onto my stomach.
She nodded her head, and kept me going.
“And…sometimes I stutter. Sometimes, I don’t know what to say, because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. Afraid that maybe I’ll somehow let the cat out of the box.”
She nodded. This feels good.
“Sometimes, I just want to…have him. All to myself, you know? I don’t want to share him, romantically of course. I hate Ashlee. Sometimes…no wait, all the time, I feel like I’m not good enough for him, because if I was, maybe he’d notice me…in that way. I never really feel hot, and confident around him. I’m really self conscious…I guess you could say.”
She just bit her lip, nodding.
“William, you have a problem.” she said.
“Why? Why do I have a problem?” I asked.
“This whole Pete thing, it’s ruining your life…are you happy?” she asked.
“Yeah…I am. I like my life…” I said.
“Well, you just said…nothing short of nothing positive about being in love with Pete. I’m not so sure it’s healthy.” she said.
“Well, I can’t help it, Ellie.” I said.
“Maybe you should…I don’t know…maybe we could find you a girlfriend or something.” she said.
I sighed.
“You want to change me.” I mumbled.
“No, no William. If I wanted to change you I’d have done it by now, otherwise you wouldn’t be my best friend. I want to help you. You seem miserable.” she said.
I nodded. I understand where she’s coming from.
“Can I just try something?” I asked her.
“What?” she asked.
“This.” I said, quickly pressing my lips against hers. She kissed back at first, then, pulled away after a good long five seconds had passed.
“William…what was…” she said, scratching the back of her neck, before I cut her off.
“I didn’t feel anything.” I told her.
“Oh-oh, okay, I get it. You were checking to see if you-” she started.
“Are still attracted to girls. Yes.” I said, cutting her off.
“So? You didn’t feel anything? Not even a sex appeal?” she asked.
“No…nothing.” I said.
“Maybe I’m not bi at all. Maybe I’m just straight up gay…a flamer. A faggot. I’m a disgusting homo.” I said, getting down quickly.
“William stop it! There’s nothing wrong with you!” she said, getting upset.
“Yes, there is. Now, I have to go on living a lie for the rest of my life.” I said.
“Why? Because your afraid of what people will think of you?” she asked.
“Yes.” I said.
She sighed.
“So, your going to marry a woman, and have kids…pretending your straight till the day you die?” she asked.
I nodded.
“That’s my initial plan so far.” I said.
“When are you truly going to be happy, William?” she asked.
“The day Peter Wentz falls in love with a failure like me.” I said, turning my head, as a tear slowly dribbled out of the corner of my eye, rolling down my lanky face, and dripping onto my lap off the tip of my cheek.
As I laid, sprawled across the couch the next morning, my head on my temples, I groaned in agony.
I was suffering from a major headache.
I was never good with dealing with pain, especially early in the morning.
“Oh god…” I moaned.
“Oh god, please…just kill me now. Spare the trouble of putting me through all this agony, and just kill me now…” I pleaded.
Suddenly, I heard someone come through the door.
“Who are you talking too?” I heard.
I shifted my eyes, from my knees, to the doorway.
Ellie.
“Oh…I have a headache…” I said, grasping my head in a different position, and groaning.
“Ah, I see. Do you own any Advil?” she asked.
“Uh…in the medicine cabinet…above the sink…I’m in too much pain…” I said.
She rolled her eyes, and chuckled, as she waltzed off to grab me some relief.
Not soon enough, as I was suffering, she came waltzing on back.
“Here, take these.” she said, pulling me up, and handing me three Advil pills.
I shoved them in my mouth, and swallowed.
“Drink up.” she said, handing me a glass of water as I washed them down.
I swallowed again.
“Thank you.” I said, looking up at her.
“Hey, no problem.” she said.
“Where’s Sisky?” I asked.
“Sisky is shopping. He needs new “threads” for tour.” she said.
“Oh, tour shopping already?” I asked.
“Well, you guys only have a month left…” she said.
I nodded.
“Yeah, but I’m a procrastinator.” I told her, feeling my headache slowly start to feel.
She smiled, and giggled a bit.
“Yes, you are.” she said, messing up my hair.
“Question?” I asked her.
“Anything?” she said, sitting.
“Do you-like my hair?” I asked.
“What?” she asked.
I reached for my hair, tugged a lock, and asked again.
“Do you like it? Is it ugly?” I asked her.
She started laughing.
“What?” I asked.
She slowly gained her composure, and shook her head.
“What?” I asked, again.
“William, that’s not questionable. Everyone, and I mean, everyone loves your hair. It’s amazing. Why?” She asked, running three fingers through my mane.
“Well.” I said, sighing.
“I came about this close to cutting the entire lot off last night…” I said, showing her a tiny measurement with my fingers.
“WHAT!” she said, immediately slapping me across the face.
I held my face.
“Bitch.” I chuckled.
Then, I turned to look at her. She had the straightest face on.
“I didn’t though, and I’m not planning on it…I don’t know what came over me, really…” I said.
She shook her head.
“I almost can’t believe that…” she said.
“I know…I know…really stupid…I know.” I said.
“That’s so gay…” she said.
It was silent.
I curled my lips in.
“Thanks.” I said. I know how she meant it. It’s pretty funny actually, she acts like a middle schooler, I swear.
She gasped, and covered her mouth.
I just bit my lip, and chuckled.
“I’m so sorry William!” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck.
She let go.
“Hey, it’s cool.” I said.
“No…no it’s not…” she said.
“I’m fine, really…no offensive taken whatsoever.” I said.
“I shouldn’t say those things….it’s a stupid comeback anyway…it’s a stupid word…” she said.
“Hey, I said it was alright. Don’t worry about it.” I said.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yeah, positive. It’s not like it hurts that much anyway. That I can’t have Pete, that is.” I said.
She nodded.
“You really love him, don’t you?” she asked, in a somber tone.
I sighed.
“Yeah. I really do.” I said.
“Tell me how you feel.” she said.
“What?” I asked, kind of stimulated, switching my position, into a substantial sit.
“Tell me everything. How do you feel every time you see him?” she asked.
“Well, I get these butterflies in my stomach.” I said, motioning my hands onto my stomach.
She nodded her head, and kept me going.
“And…sometimes I stutter. Sometimes, I don’t know what to say, because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. Afraid that maybe I’ll somehow let the cat out of the box.”
She nodded. This feels good.
“Sometimes, I just want to…have him. All to myself, you know? I don’t want to share him, romantically of course. I hate Ashlee. Sometimes…no wait, all the time, I feel like I’m not good enough for him, because if I was, maybe he’d notice me…in that way. I never really feel hot, and confident around him. I’m really self conscious…I guess you could say.”
She just bit her lip, nodding.
“William, you have a problem.” she said.
“Why? Why do I have a problem?” I asked.
“This whole Pete thing, it’s ruining your life…are you happy?” she asked.
“Yeah…I am. I like my life…” I said.
“Well, you just said…nothing short of nothing positive about being in love with Pete. I’m not so sure it’s healthy.” she said.
“Well, I can’t help it, Ellie.” I said.
“Maybe you should…I don’t know…maybe we could find you a girlfriend or something.” she said.
I sighed.
“You want to change me.” I mumbled.
“No, no William. If I wanted to change you I’d have done it by now, otherwise you wouldn’t be my best friend. I want to help you. You seem miserable.” she said.
I nodded. I understand where she’s coming from.
“Can I just try something?” I asked her.
“What?” she asked.
“This.” I said, quickly pressing my lips against hers. She kissed back at first, then, pulled away after a good long five seconds had passed.
“William…what was…” she said, scratching the back of her neck, before I cut her off.
“I didn’t feel anything.” I told her.
“Oh-oh, okay, I get it. You were checking to see if you-” she started.
“Are still attracted to girls. Yes.” I said, cutting her off.
“So? You didn’t feel anything? Not even a sex appeal?” she asked.
“No…nothing.” I said.
“Maybe I’m not bi at all. Maybe I’m just straight up gay…a flamer. A faggot. I’m a disgusting homo.” I said, getting down quickly.
“William stop it! There’s nothing wrong with you!” she said, getting upset.
“Yes, there is. Now, I have to go on living a lie for the rest of my life.” I said.
“Why? Because your afraid of what people will think of you?” she asked.
“Yes.” I said.
She sighed.
“So, your going to marry a woman, and have kids…pretending your straight till the day you die?” she asked.
I nodded.
“That’s my initial plan so far.” I said.
“When are you truly going to be happy, William?” she asked.
“The day Peter Wentz falls in love with a failure like me.” I said, turning my head, as a tear slowly dribbled out of the corner of my eye, rolling down my lanky face, and dripping onto my lap off the tip of my cheek.
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