Part 11. I didnt have chance to proof it so there may be some typos or what ever.
Amy’s POV- ‘And now I regret everything’
I wake up and roll over with a pounding in my head like I’ve never felt before. I run to the bathroom in time to involuntarily throw the contents of my stomach up and into the toilet. “Urgh.” I grumble to myself as I slump down on the bath room floor.
“You alright?” Bob appears in the doorway, I hadn’t shut the door behind me, and continues, “I bet you’re glad I didn’t let many people stay over now aren’t you?”
“Ok Ok you were right and I was wrong… where are Dad’s aspirins?”
“I’ll get you some.” I thank his back as he retreats and press my head against the cool tiles on the wall. The cold felt good against my flushed skin. It also took steps to wake me up slightly. “Urgh.” I say again groggily as Bob returns and pulls me to my feet.
“I know you’re not the biggest fan of breakfast right now but you need to soak up some of the alcohol.” He explains as he guides me down the stairs in front of him and into the kitchen. “Uhh… aright.” I sit at the dinning room and watch him pour out a small bowl of muesli and toast me half a quason (he eats the other half himself straight from the packet) and a scotch pancake. I smile as he sets it in front of me on a tray with a small glass of orange juice.
“Mum used to make this for me when I was little.”
“I know.” He smiles back. I think I sense some sadness in the smile but he hides it from me again quickly.
“Where is everyone?”
“Well not many people actually stayed. Those that did left ASAP to avoid clearing up.”
“That was nice of them.” I reply, it seems not even the worst hang over ever could stem my sarcasm.
“God what happened last night?” I ask as bits and pieces start falling into place. I could remember the prom and getting home but then it all goes a bit foggy.
“I don’t know. I didn’t see much of you. Apparently you spent a lot of time with Gerard.”
Gerard… Oh God. Me and tall black haired guy making out in the hall. His lips on mine. My hands in his hair. ‘F*ck me…’ I must turn red as the memories rush back as Bob rolls his eyes, mutters something about me ‘never learning’ and goes to check for any hidden damage.
I eat all the breakfast Bob has made for me to apologise for sucking face with one of his best mates last night. Swallowing the last mouthful of pancake I try to stop my stomach clenching in protest. No, I need to eat. I return to my room where I pull of the first clothes I can find then go on hidden damage hunt with Bob.
By one Mikey, Charli, Gerard and Ray are all back round and sitting in the Living Room talking to me and Bob about the party over pizza.
“It was well sweet what Frank did.” Charli says looking at me as if this was meant to have had some great significance.
“What?” I ask, more than slightly bewildered.
“Not drinking much so he could keep an eye out for you and prove to you that he isn’t a complete waste of space.” I lower my gaze, intentionally avoiding Gerard’s eyes. It wasn’t that I was ashamed or even embarrassed but I just didn’t know how he felt about it. I don’t want him to get the wrong impression. It was amazing but I was drunk and it was a party. That’s about as far as it goes.
As for Frank’s grand gesture I was too drunk and then too otherwise occupied to even realise that he hadn’t drunk much or even touched a joint. In fact I can only remember talking to him once for about 10 minutes at the most. I think I said I’d find him but… then there was Gerard… in the hall…and I hadn’t seen him after that.
“So I think we should do confessions.” Mikey says from the chair he and Charli are sharing next to me. Confessions were something the boys always did after parties. It was meant to stop them being complete whres at pss ups because they knew they’d have to confess the next day and if they didn’t and got caught out (which they always did) they had to do some sort of forfeit that usually involved buying cigarettes and alcohol for everyone. I think they were all just gossip addicts and enjoyed sitting around talking about who got with who like a pack of teenage girls.
“But frank isn’t here yet,” Gerard speaks up looking slightly panicked. He obviously doesn’t know that Bob knows what happened last night and doesn’t know how he’ll react. I try to catch him eye but he won’t look at me.
“He wasn’t drinking or doing anything last night other than moping around.” Bob points out. “So the chances of him having to confess anything are pretty slim.”
“Plus he’s late so we’ll just have to make him do it later by himself.” Mikey adds, always the voice of justice.
“Fine.” Gerard says eventually.
“I’ll go first.” Mikey volunteers. “I drank about 5 beers, did no drugs and got with Charli, shock horror.”
“I heard.” Gerard replies nonchalantly. Mikey and Charli both turn a predictable shade of red. My insides have turned to jelly. One I would have to admit to kissing Gerard to everyone, two I would have to admit just how much I’d drank.
“Ok I’ll go next.” Charli says. “I had bout 4 beers, no drugs and got with the dork I’m sat on.” We laugh at this then Bob volunteers. “I had about 5 beers and 3 shots, God knows why, and no drugs. And I finally got with Tara!” Mikey and Charli cheer at this while me Ray and Gerard wonder who Tara was and why we hadn’t heard about her before.
Ray goes next professing that he’d gotten with Lauren and had 6 beers and no drugs.
“I’ll go next.” I say, wanting to jump in before Gerard. “Ok I lost count on the 7th Smirnoff ice. Yes Bob it was stupid, no I won’t do it again, trust me!” He smiles at this and I give him a grin back before carrying on. “I did no drugs and… maybe Gerard…” I mumble the last bit quickly in the hopes that they wouldn’t hear. It doesn’t quite work out though. Mikey and Charli look shell shocked, Ray actually has his mouth hanging open and Bob looks p*ssed off but not with Gerard, just generally.
“Seriously?” Mikey asks Gerard finally.
“It was just some drunken at a party spur of the moment thing.” I interrupt. “Nothing to get excited about.” Mikey smirks and Charli tries to catch my eye but I avoid it.
“Just you left Gerard.” Ray speaks up.
“Yeah. 3 beers. No drugs and Amy.” I blush as I realise he’d hardly been drunk at all. One of those beers were drunk after our little make out session.
I wait a few moments then pluck up the courage to do what I’d been wanting to do since everyone had gotten here. “Gerard can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” He replies and we leave the room to let everyone talk about how odd it is that we got together at the party.
“So… what did you want to talk about?” He asks me. He stays standing up, leaning against the wall, while I choose to sit down at one of the dining room chairs.
“Last night.” I answer him even though I know that he knew that already.
“Oh right… So what did you want to say exactly?”
“Well, I mean… I thought you were drunk?” Now I think about it it’s a bit odd him getting touchy feeling with a really p*ssed 16 year old while he was stilly largely sober.
“I kind of was.” When met but my extremely disbelieving stare he backtracks. “Ok I wasn’t but I didn’t realise quite how much you’d had to drink either.
“Hmm…” I sigh. This really wasn’t how I’d planned the conversation out in my head but I couldn’t remember any of my mentally rehearsed lines so I was just going to have to wing it.
“Why did you do it?” I ask finally, blunt as ever.
“What do you mean?” He asks looking startled by my question and I don’t really blame him.
“I mean I was drunk and on a bit of a high after prom but well, you had neither, and I mean… Frank…” I stop before I start talking complete gibberish. Gerard blushes slightly and I realise that he’d thought about him too. I suppose I know deep down that he’s blushing because of the answer to my question too, but I deny it frantically because I don’t want it to be true.
“I just…” He looks at me and I can tell he is trying to read me. To see if I feel the same way he does. “Just spur of the moment I guess.” He says breaking the eye contact and tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear.
“That’s good then.” I reply cheerfully even though I know he’s lying.
“So do you regret it then huh?” Gerard asks me as he sits down at the table with me at last. His cheeks colour slightly but we both ignore it.
“No. I mean it was just kissing and stuff, and it was nice, it’s not like we screwed or anything either.”
“You wanted to.” He replies with a smirk.
“Well I’m glad I didn’t.”
“How come? I mean like you said it would have only been a ‘drunken, at a party, spur of the moment thing’.” It’s my turn to blush as he recites my earlier words. I come to a snap decision and open my mouth to reply. “Look Gerard, I’m not sure you’re the best person to be telling this but I need to tell someone and well, you’re as good as anyone.”
“What is it?” He asks. I hear someone exit the Living room and lower my voice.
“Well last night kinda made me realise where my emotions lie… and how strong those feelings are. And now that I’ve found those feelings I can’t just cover them back up again.” I pause as someone goes through the cupboard just outside the door. Once they’ve slammed the cupboard door shut I return to Gerard. “I mean he hurt me, so did you, but I think I have to forgive him.”
“Frank you mean?”
“Yeah I guess.”
“So you’re basically saying that last night while we were making out in your hall you were realising your feelings for Frank?”
“No… You’re making this sound worse than it was on purpose. I knew I shouldn’t have told you…. Damn! Look it’s just like when I think back I know it should have been Frank not…” I trail off as his darkened face turns away from mine. I’m honestly not sure what will happen if I finish.
“Not me?” He ends for me. I blush again. “That’s fine.” He continues. “I mean why would I be bothered? You’re just my mate’s kid sister. I probably shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place. You and Frank are the same age ad everything so it makes sense for you two to get together.”
“Me? I’m fine.” He stands up trying to look upbeat but not convincing me entirely. I may be being big headed but he was bothered.
“Come on let’s go back through.”
I follow him down the hall and sit on the sofa. My eyes are glued to the TV but my brain is focussing on not letting it slip that I’d just spilt my guts to the worst choice in person ever.