Okay, I sort of lied.Not really,but things did get more interesting then I first let on. I have this weird thing about cemeteries. I don't have a crazy love for them or anything, I just like walking through them. Weird I know. So that’s what we did. We eventually walked up next to a cemetery. It was a little dark, but still open. She must have had the same idea I did, because she went right in with me without questioning it. We were silent, until we walked to the almost center of the grounds and sat under one of the willow trees. "In a crazy way, its kind of beautiful, isn't it?" She turned to me,and asked me this. I knew right then that we were meant to be together.Until then I'd never met anyone who didn't think my cemetery thing was a little strange.
She seemed to get closer and closer as we talked. As I realized how much I liked about her.Loved about her. Soon we were inches apart,she kissed me softly but I couldn't return it. She looked hurt but I just looked away. I would have to punish myself for that later, because that was what Lily had done to me. Damn it. I keep thinking of her.I thought it was over. After she was gone I was supposed to forget,but I didn't. What she did to me should have crushed me,but it didn't. At least not as bad as it should have. "Billy, sorry, I just thought..." She didn't finish talking, just got up and left. Hmm...seems familiar doesn’t it? Damn it all to Hell.
I didn't go back to the hotel. After she left I looked at my watch, it was almost 1 a.m. after sitting there for what I thought was a few minutes, it read 2:30 a.m. Damn. I got up and walked around aimlessly, realizing I didn't know where the hell I was. I just kept walking, until around 6 a.m. Benji came and found my sorry ass. He took me back to the hotel, where all I did was grab all my shit and get ready to leave for the next concert, which wasn't that far anyway. About a two day drive, I'm use to worse.
I sat in my bunk,trying to get some sleep. I put my hands in my hoodie pocket, and found a small slip of paper. 'Don't forget about me, I'll miss you to much -kylie' then there was a number written under that. Damn, how the hell did she put that there? Then I remembered when she kissed me. Smart girl. Maybe I could forget Lily,but could I trust Kylie? If I could, would she love me, if I loved her? Or would she leave me? I let these thoughts wander my dreams as I slept.
I sat up in my bunk later still,crying and hating myself for it. I cried because no matter how much I hated what she had done,I missed my baby. I would never get over Lily. She took the best years of my life. 5 years, one for each cut that added to the many now on my wrists, bleeding on my sheets. I feel in love, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It hurt me so much. If she hadn't died I would've forgiven her and we'd still be dating. I was that bad. Benji saw right through her though, but I never listen to Benj until its to late. Damn it.
I was still lying in my bunk when we pulled up at the place where in three hours we were supposed to do another show. I hadn't eaten anything, which was starting to take its toll on me. But I didn't feel like eating either. So my dumb ass self pulled out my cell phone,and called Kylie. "Hello?" God she sounded so depressed. I found myself praying that it wasn't because of me.
"Hey, it's Billy." I smiled as I said that,like she could see me.
"Hey, about the other night-" I stopped her there.
"I should have kissed you back." I admitted. It was the truth to, I wish so much that she was with me right now.
"Man I'm glad you said that. I was beginning to think you hated me." Never.
"I could never hate you." See I told you.
"Where are you guys now?" She asked curiously.
"About a two day drive from you,but in a couple weeks we should be coming back, can I see you then?" Please say yes, please.
"Actually, you play a show in Cali next don't you?"
"Because my sister lives there, I can visit the both of you at the same time." This made me so unbelievably happy.
"Awesome, I'll see you then okay? I have to go to sound check."
"I'll maybe call you later, bye."
"Talk to you later."
I hung up and got off the bus. Benji was grinning at me. "You called her didn't you?" Damn him if he didn't know everything.
"Yeah so?" I snapped back,he shrugged,still smiling.
I headed on the stage for sound check, not really paying attention to what was going on. Through out the concert I messed up about 6 times. On each song. After the concert I was sure the guys were going to yell at me, but they didn't. "Hey man, I'm just glad you were actually smiling and having a good time out there, It's been awhile." Joel admitted, and I sort of agreed with him. It had been awhile since I had actually had a pretty good time preforming.