Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > This Is how We'll Be, Oh Glory.
I wasn't 100% sure that i wanted to answer the question Brendon had asked me. I mean there was a band at stake here, and other things as well.
"I'm actually moving in with Ryan." I managed to choke out.
"Oh," he said as he bowed his head again.
"Well i have to fet going, but I'll give you a call in a bit to decide when I'm gonna pick up my stuff."
"Alright, talk to you later."
"Cya," I finished as i rose from the table and headed back for the car. I made my way out of the restaurant, back across the street, and towards Ryan's car. I opened the passanger side door and slid in.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Fine."
"You okay?"
"Never better," i smiled. He started the car back up and pulled out of the parking lot and back towards his house. It was a pretty silent ride except for Ryan's Beatle's CD playing in the background.
"You know, I don't know if anyone has ever told you this but you are an amazing kisser," he said with a smile.
"You're not too bad yourself," I joked reaching for his hand. I know it should probably feel weird moving on so quickly, but it didn't. I was just in a forgive and forget kind of mood and deep down I guess I always had something for Ryan.
Brendon's POV.
I watched as Maddy walked back out towards Ryan's car, like i didn't know that he drove her here. I waited for them to make their way out of the parking lot before i made my way to my car. I got in, started the car, and began my silent ride home. Although the car was completely silent, my head was screaming with thoughts. Why was she moving in with Ryan? Were they together? Why did I cheat on her? I have to sort things out with Ryan for the sake of the band. I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment. I made my way into the lonely dwelling. My phone began ringing, it was probably Maddy wanting to pick up her stuff.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey Bren," she replied. Her voice sweet and genuine as always. You'd never know what had just happened. Was she even upset anymore? I mean i didn't want her to be, but part of me wanted her to atleast miss me.
"Brendon are you there?"
"Yeah, sorry I zoned out."
"No problem. Um I was wondering if it'd be okay if I could come get my stuff in about an hour. I'd come over sooner but i have to check up on Ella."
"Ella?"
"Oh, my bad. The puppy. I named it. I hope you don't mind. If you want to have it for part of the week you can."
"Nah," I laughed," I'm not the best with dogs. She's all yours"
"Thanks."
"And an hour is fine."
"Okay, Ryan's coming. MAybe you two could talk and work things out?" she asked her voice full of hope.
"Sure. I was actually thinking the same thing." I reassured her.
"Alright, I'll see you in a bit then."
"Yeah, see ya." I hung up and took a deep breath. I couldn't believe a realtionship that took 2 years to build up came crumbling down in 2 days. I walked back towards her closet just to see her stuff next to mine. I saw a the dress she had worn when i took her out for her 18th birthday. I still remember it. We had been going out for 6 monthes.
...Flash back...
"Brendon, this is amazing," she gasped as she walked into the decorated hotel room. I had roses everywhere. Cliche i know, but she would like it.
"Maddy, I love you," It was the first time I ever said it to her and I remeber the two seconds she took to answer felt like an enternity.
"I love you too Brendon," she said as a smile fell across her face. She leaned in and kissed me a little more forcefully and passsionately then she normally did. She pushed me gently against the wall.
"Who said you could take control?" I joked with her. She laughed around the kiss. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"Trust me, I want to," she replied back.
.....
There was a knock at the door and i was pulled out of my memory. Memories were the only thing Maddy and I shared anymore. I turned from the closet and towards the door. As I walked down the hallway, i wondered how in the world i zoned out for almost an hour. I approached the door and opened it. Maddy was standing there with a bunch of suitcases the she must have picked up from storage and Ryan behind her.
"Hi," she greeted trying to ease the tension. The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
"Hey," i replied coldly looking at Ryan, who also had a black eye.
"Well," Maddy began uncomfortably,"I'm gonna start packing and I'll leave you here to talk." Maddy made her was past me with her suitcases. I waited until she was out of site and turned to Ryan.
"So Maddy's moving in with you?"
"Yep." Ryan replied while nervously scratching the back of his head.
"How fucking peachy for you, Ry."
"Brendon, don't start. I came over here to work things out. We have a band to think about. We also have to keep John and Spenver in mind."
"You're right. this is all so weird and confusing, though. Listen, I'm sorry for the black eye, but things between you and me are probably gonna be weird for a while."
"I know, but we have to be able to work together."
"Yeah."
Maddy's POV
It was so awkward taking things out of this closet and putting them into suitcases. I packed clothes, make-up and shoes as quickly as possible hoping i could pack away all the memories with them. After about 15 minutes I was finished. I took one last look at the room Brendon and I no longer shared. I made my way out of the room and back towards the front door.
"Ready to go?" I asked Ryan.
"Yeah, let me help you with that," Ryan paced over and took the bags from my hands and took them towards the car. Brendon and I were left alone.
"It's weird how fast this is all changing." i announced breaking the silence.
Brendon's POV
"Tell me about it," I replied looking over at Maddy.
"Brendon what we had was so special, but your choices tore it apart. I know this is cliche, but i really hope we can go on being friends because your are an amazing guy. I think you need some time to figure out whats going on inside your own head now, though." Maddy walked over to me and gave me a hug. Not an " I love you hug" but more like an "I'm glad we are friends hug." For one last time i took in the scent of vanilla soap on her skin and the softness of her hair. I wanted to cry, but I stayed strong. Shee pulled away, looking me one more time in the eye.
"Bye Brendon," she said as she walked towards the door and shut it behind her.
"Bye, Madeline," I whispered to the empty room as tears found their way down my face.
"I'm actually moving in with Ryan." I managed to choke out.
"Oh," he said as he bowed his head again.
"Well i have to fet going, but I'll give you a call in a bit to decide when I'm gonna pick up my stuff."
"Alright, talk to you later."
"Cya," I finished as i rose from the table and headed back for the car. I made my way out of the restaurant, back across the street, and towards Ryan's car. I opened the passanger side door and slid in.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Fine."
"You okay?"
"Never better," i smiled. He started the car back up and pulled out of the parking lot and back towards his house. It was a pretty silent ride except for Ryan's Beatle's CD playing in the background.
"You know, I don't know if anyone has ever told you this but you are an amazing kisser," he said with a smile.
"You're not too bad yourself," I joked reaching for his hand. I know it should probably feel weird moving on so quickly, but it didn't. I was just in a forgive and forget kind of mood and deep down I guess I always had something for Ryan.
Brendon's POV.
I watched as Maddy walked back out towards Ryan's car, like i didn't know that he drove her here. I waited for them to make their way out of the parking lot before i made my way to my car. I got in, started the car, and began my silent ride home. Although the car was completely silent, my head was screaming with thoughts. Why was she moving in with Ryan? Were they together? Why did I cheat on her? I have to sort things out with Ryan for the sake of the band. I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment. I made my way into the lonely dwelling. My phone began ringing, it was probably Maddy wanting to pick up her stuff.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey Bren," she replied. Her voice sweet and genuine as always. You'd never know what had just happened. Was she even upset anymore? I mean i didn't want her to be, but part of me wanted her to atleast miss me.
"Brendon are you there?"
"Yeah, sorry I zoned out."
"No problem. Um I was wondering if it'd be okay if I could come get my stuff in about an hour. I'd come over sooner but i have to check up on Ella."
"Ella?"
"Oh, my bad. The puppy. I named it. I hope you don't mind. If you want to have it for part of the week you can."
"Nah," I laughed," I'm not the best with dogs. She's all yours"
"Thanks."
"And an hour is fine."
"Okay, Ryan's coming. MAybe you two could talk and work things out?" she asked her voice full of hope.
"Sure. I was actually thinking the same thing." I reassured her.
"Alright, I'll see you in a bit then."
"Yeah, see ya." I hung up and took a deep breath. I couldn't believe a realtionship that took 2 years to build up came crumbling down in 2 days. I walked back towards her closet just to see her stuff next to mine. I saw a the dress she had worn when i took her out for her 18th birthday. I still remember it. We had been going out for 6 monthes.
...Flash back...
"Brendon, this is amazing," she gasped as she walked into the decorated hotel room. I had roses everywhere. Cliche i know, but she would like it.
"Maddy, I love you," It was the first time I ever said it to her and I remeber the two seconds she took to answer felt like an enternity.
"I love you too Brendon," she said as a smile fell across her face. She leaned in and kissed me a little more forcefully and passsionately then she normally did. She pushed me gently against the wall.
"Who said you could take control?" I joked with her. She laughed around the kiss. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"Trust me, I want to," she replied back.
.....
There was a knock at the door and i was pulled out of my memory. Memories were the only thing Maddy and I shared anymore. I turned from the closet and towards the door. As I walked down the hallway, i wondered how in the world i zoned out for almost an hour. I approached the door and opened it. Maddy was standing there with a bunch of suitcases the she must have picked up from storage and Ryan behind her.
"Hi," she greeted trying to ease the tension. The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
"Hey," i replied coldly looking at Ryan, who also had a black eye.
"Well," Maddy began uncomfortably,"I'm gonna start packing and I'll leave you here to talk." Maddy made her was past me with her suitcases. I waited until she was out of site and turned to Ryan.
"So Maddy's moving in with you?"
"Yep." Ryan replied while nervously scratching the back of his head.
"How fucking peachy for you, Ry."
"Brendon, don't start. I came over here to work things out. We have a band to think about. We also have to keep John and Spenver in mind."
"You're right. this is all so weird and confusing, though. Listen, I'm sorry for the black eye, but things between you and me are probably gonna be weird for a while."
"I know, but we have to be able to work together."
"Yeah."
Maddy's POV
It was so awkward taking things out of this closet and putting them into suitcases. I packed clothes, make-up and shoes as quickly as possible hoping i could pack away all the memories with them. After about 15 minutes I was finished. I took one last look at the room Brendon and I no longer shared. I made my way out of the room and back towards the front door.
"Ready to go?" I asked Ryan.
"Yeah, let me help you with that," Ryan paced over and took the bags from my hands and took them towards the car. Brendon and I were left alone.
"It's weird how fast this is all changing." i announced breaking the silence.
Brendon's POV
"Tell me about it," I replied looking over at Maddy.
"Brendon what we had was so special, but your choices tore it apart. I know this is cliche, but i really hope we can go on being friends because your are an amazing guy. I think you need some time to figure out whats going on inside your own head now, though." Maddy walked over to me and gave me a hug. Not an " I love you hug" but more like an "I'm glad we are friends hug." For one last time i took in the scent of vanilla soap on her skin and the softness of her hair. I wanted to cry, but I stayed strong. Shee pulled away, looking me one more time in the eye.
"Bye Brendon," she said as she walked towards the door and shut it behind her.
"Bye, Madeline," I whispered to the empty room as tears found their way down my face.
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