We can wash down this engagement ring With poison and kerosene, We'll laugh as we die, and we'll celebrate the end of things with cheap champagne....
I used that opportunity to step outside and stretch my organs...Let me tell you, taking 5 different types of pills and then a booze for desert wasn't much fun the next day.
It was the hangover from hell, my head exploded, my stomach was about to go bye bye and I was throwing up every 2 hours and then magnify it by 349030 times with the buses swaying and bumping, I doubted if I can make it to the next stop alive...But then again, it's not a bad idea not to make the next stop alive, it'll save me a lot of paper work and make Gerard sorry for the rest of his fucking life!
I took a bottle of water and went up to sit on a rock, it was quiet and secluded but allowed me to see the people in the gas station.
I spotted Gerard and his bitch, Liz, they sat at one of the tables, he was with his head down and she had her arm around his shoulder.
I smirked, take your opportunity motherfucker, now that I was no longer a threat she can actually lure him in her bed.
And there was Pete joking around with Sophie, even Ronald was hitting on some guy who was smiling at him and there were the guys, debating something.
Frankie said something and Bob elbowed him and Ray shook his head at the both of them. Mikey apparently was making a huge argument, he was flapping his arms around. Alessa was hanging on to his every word, nodding and chipping in occasionally.
And I felt so alone, everyone looked paired up. Like they're in their natural places, with their friends, with their loved ones and I was sitting on a fucking rock. Secluded from all the fun.
I smiled bitterly to myself, it was such an excellent metaphor to my life, everyone's having fun while I sit and watch on the sidelines.
I never felt this alone in my life! Everytime the going got tough or too much to handle I would find comfort in Gerard or in one of the guys but now they all seemed to be million miles away.
People started to board their buses, I saw Gerard walk slowely to his, I pretened to take a sip from my bottle. He noticed me and stood, looking in my direction.
He looked at the bus then back at me and took a step in my direction, Liz crawled suddenly out of no where and pulled his arm to the bus direction.
He said something to her, she said somehing back, he nodded, glanced one last time at me and left with her.
I stood up but didn't even took one step before I had this sickining wave hit me and I threw up...I wish I could stop doing it...It was starting to get embarrassing.
"Skyler, is Billy with you?", Spencer frantic voice blasted through the phone.
"What's wrong?", I whispered back, hunching slightly so Ronald wouldn't hear me talk on the phone during job hours...Even though he did frequently....Cooing to his pookie pooh...But that's a different story.
"Are you sure? Please don't lie, this is extremely important!", he sounded fierce, I never heard this tone before...I mean Spencer? Fierce? The same guy I mistaken for a 15 year old the first time we met?
"Spencer, I'm not even in New York", I raised my voice a little, "What's wrong?"
"Billy...", and the line died. Fucking fantastic! My fucking battery died.
I really don't get mobile phones, sure they're mobile, great, how wonderful for them but they are useless the minute you really really need them!
I bit my lip, thinking what I should do? Risk being killed cruelly by Ronald and go find someone with a mobile phone that actually works in addition to being mobile? Perhaps it can wait until the end of the session...But then again Spencer sounded horrible on the phone and I was curious. Aw fuck no wonder curiosity killed the cat.
"Ronald, I have ladies monthly issues, can I to the bathroom?", I whispered in his ear before he gave me a death glare.
I really didn't...I didn't have monthly ladies issues for a month, even though I should have already, I guess all the stress and emotions and heat do that to you...But anyway, he can't refuse if I use it as an excuse.
"If you must", he said coldly.
I ran out of the tent, I tried to guess where I could find someone to burrow a phone, everyone seemed to be working when I saw my salvation, a beaten pay phone!
It glowed but I guess it was just my imagination.
Bless these ugly pay phones! So they aren't mobile but what's the point in mobility if they don't work in time of need.
I ran to it like a man running to a lake in the desert, I forgot just one minor detail...Pay phone work on coins, something I don't really carry around with me since I have a mobile phone. See the catch?
Moaning and groaning, I emptied every pocket and every god forsaken corner in my bag, I finally managed to scrap a few coins and with a trembling hand dialled Billy's number, there was no answer so I tried Lynn's number instead.
An old dude picked up, "Yes?"
"Um...Is Lynn there?", I shifted my weight from one foot to another.
"Lynn? Wrong number", and with that he hung up on me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, I chanted to myself, with curiosity killing me and patience running low I tried to remember Lynn's correct number.
This time a version of Lynn answered me, her voice was trembling, "Hello?"
"Lynn?", I frowned. What the fuck is going on? Spencer is worried, Lynn's obviously upset, what was Billy up to now?
"Skyler", she sobbed, "What do you want?"
OK, so maybe not the reaction I anticipated but OK.
"Spencer called but my battery died, what's going on?", I looked worriedly at the phone that was making strange noises. I so doubt it supposed to do it!
"He got wasted again...", one last weird noise and the call got disconnected.
I threw the receiver at the phone, I'm just doomed today, aren't I?
I spotted Mikey from far away, signing shit for fans, I sprinted to where he was, knocking unfortunate fans who were standing in my way.
I reached him panting and breathless, "Give me your phone"
"Is it a command?", he said coldly.
Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute! Mikey's using cold tones with me? What the fuck?! I can't believe he's on his brother's side! Traitor! I'll kick his wheezing ass later, now I gotta find out what Billy did this time.
"Come on, Mikey. Phone. Now. Don't. Make. Me. Fish. For. It. In. Your. Pants", I gasped for air.
He gave me a death glare, made a face but gave me his phone.
I snatched it and backed to a quiet place to make the call...Well, relatively quiet.
"Spencer, what's up?"
"It's Billy, he did drugs again", I could picture him closing his eyes and shake his head.
"Why?! He was supposed to be sober", I sighed.
"Yeah, Lynn was suspecting something like this for a long time, so he finally broke his cover and came home high, as far as I know they got in an argument and he..Hit her".
My jaw dropped, I stared ahead but saw nothing, "He couldn't. Billy wouldn't. Ever"
"Apparently he did. The motherfucker ran away, Lynn called me crying and hysteric", the angry Spencer was back on the line.
I rubbed my forehead and leaned against some bus, "How could this happen? Of all things this is the last thing I expected of him".
"I grew up with him and didn't expect it of him", he hissed, "Um..Skyler, did you give drugs to Billy?"
"No!", I cried out desperately, "I'm not even in the city, Spencer"
"Yeah I thought so", he mumbled, "But Lynn...Well bye".
"Bye", I mouthed
I knew Billy for a long time now but never saw this coming, how could he hit his wife? High, sober whatever, how could this happen? The world as I knew it just seems to break down piece by piece, lie by lie, secret by secret, everything falls apart...
Gerard would never hit me no matter how high he was or would he? He sure had no problem pinning me down to the ground and keeping me there the other day.
I turned around slowly, still in daze to come face to face with a pissed off Mikey.....