church kinda sucks
Posted to: KissMyBass
There are several reasons why I am better than all of my friends. Bob didn't believe this, so I made him a picture and wrote him a paragraph as to why I am. Oh, for the record, we all have nicknames for ourselves. I am Eyebrows, Bob is Hook, Frank is Teeth, and Gerard is Hand.
There once was a set of eyebrows. They were magnificent. These AMAXING eyebrows were friends with a not-so-amazing hook. As the days passed, the eyebrows grew even more AMAZING. They tried to let the hook share in the AMAZING-ness, but the hook that wore a frilly red dress could not handle the sheer AMAZING-ness of the one pair of SPECTACULAR eyebrows. Soon enough no one cared about the pathetic hook anymore and it disappeared [POOF] off the face of the earth and everyone left was able to soak up the AMAZING-ness that radiated from the AMAZING eyebrows. The End.
See, this AMAZING piece of literature written by a very well respected writer just shows that Eyebrows > Hook. Man I am good, if I do say so myself.
LittleDrummerBoy: That is SO NOT TRUE. It's funny seeing as how much in disarray you obviously are since hook > eyebrows. But you know what? IT'S OKAY. Hook > everyone else, too. You're not alone.
--KissMyBass: It is so true. It was written in an encyclopedia. That's how true it is. And encyclopedias only have facts.
December 24, 2007.
Posted to: LittleDrummerBoy
Well, yesterday was... interesting, to say the very least. Allow me to recap my REALLY, REALLY brilliant tale:
So, I went over Frank's to celebrate our pre-Christmas. His mom started a fire and we all sat in front of it, opening gifts. I got a book I so desperately wanted from Frank, a hat-thing to match an outfit my mom got me from Mikey, and something I don't really remember from Josh-- which is okay because he gets on my nerves anyhow.
I got really, really excited over the hat from Hunter.
Then Hunter and I decided to give Frank a big, giant hug, because it makes him uncomfortable.
At about seven my mom came to pick me up to go confess at church. She had to drag me in because I absolutely abhor going in there. We sat in the pews and a priest passed us in the aisle and hit my sister on the head with a block of wood. A laughed for a long, long time while my sister made a sad face at me.
I finally went into the confessional thing and told the priest that I didn't know why I was there since I'm not Christian anyway. He told me that I was wrong, but I told him that it's not because I hate his religion; it's that I just don't follow it. However, I am very interested in theology. He said a theologist revolves his life around God, but I countered him with ,"Um, Webster's disctionary says that theology is the study of religion, not a person who is religious." Then he proceeded to tell me how he doesn't respect me, but he blesses my mother.
Needless to say, my mother was pissed off when I told her. Then she dropped me back off at Frank's so I could tell them that fascinating story. Afterwards, we stopped off at Josh's front lawn so I could lick his inflatable snowman, then walk over to Burger King where I ordered nothing.
Sing4Absolution: I can't wait to spend New Year's with you guys! Christmas sounded like a lot of fun!
GuitarHero: Ahaha, Jesus hates you! n00b.
--LittleDrummerBoy: I am going to wreck your face with my fist, TROLL.
---KissMyBass: Now, now. Play nice, children.
December 26, 2004.
Posted to: Sing4Absolution
Now I realize why I think church is so funny.
Okay, so: I was sitting in the pews with my mom, grandma and brother when I spy these guys ahead of me by about three rows. They were interpretively dancing to the prayers and hymns the choir were singing. My brother and I were laughing so hard. My grandma kept shooting me mean looks, but it was still so funny! They were "raising the roof" during some song about how "Jesus is my saviour" and then did some crazy handshake that involved doing the sign of the cross. Oh, god. I nearly went on a ROFLcopter around the whole damn town, it was so hysterical.
After mass, I went up to them and thanked them for making church enjoyable this year.
GuitarHero: THAT IS SO RAD. I wish I could have gone!
KissMyBass: I agree with Frank! How sick. Those guys sound kickass.
LittleDrummerBoy: Wow. I want to go to your church, ahaha. JUST KIDDING. NOT REALLY.