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Great. Another day of school.
The only real good thing about going to school was getting to be with your friends.
And now I have another reason to not want to go to school. Gerard. Kara was on the list ages ago, so that doesn’t count.
I had ran home after I left Gerard’s the night before. I was pretty upset. I came into the house almost in tears, but hid them quite well. Until Mum looked at me. And Mum being all motherly like knew straight away something was wrong. Of course she knew it had something to do with Gerard, but I didn’t really feel like telling her right at that moment.
I last thing I said to Gerard was ‘Kara can have you, I don’t give a fuck anymore.’
I don’t know what that meant. I don’t know if that meant break up, or if it meant a really bad fight, I had no idea. I don’t even know if I meant it. But what really worried me was what Gerard thought of it.
He could take it as something that it’s not. What if he does take that as a break up? I’m not sure I’m really for that. I’m not sure about anything lately…
I got to school and saw that Gerard and Ray were missing. I knew they were here, I just knew that Gerard would’ve dragged Ray for a ‘walk’ so he wouldn’t have to see me when I got to school.
Scarlet being Scarlet and being my best friend, knew straight away that something was wrong. Damn girl could read me like a book.
“You’re going to tell me what happened at recess. We’re going to a nice, quite, private spot, and we are talking. You will tell me everything, and I don’t want any arguments.” Scarlet commanded seriously.
I rolled my eyes and nodded before turning away, showing her that I wasn’t too fond on the idea, but I would do it anyway. It’s not like I had a choice anyway.
I felt an arm gently tug on mine and led me away from reasonable distance from the group.
“What does this mean for you and Gerard now?” Mikey asked, looking down.
“I don’t know Mikey.” I said in an irritated voice.
“Did he ask you to ask me that?” I asked loudly.
I looked over Mikey’s shoulder and saw Gerard and Ray approaching us in the far distance, I then saw Gerard stop, saying something, then turning and walking away. Ray just looked confused and followed.
“No. He didn’t. As soon as you left, he just went up to his room and didn’t come out for the rest of the night. The only time I saw him since then was for like five minutes before you got here at school, he then said to Ray he had to go see one of the teachers about something. But I think he was lying.” Mikey explained.
“I’m sorry Mikey.” I said softly, sinking down to the ground and sitting.
“About what?” Mikey asked, sitting beside me.
“You always get dragged into this. Always.” I whispered.
“I didn’t get dragged into this. I put myself in it.” Mikey comforted me.
“But if you didn’t, we all know I probably would’ve killed her.” I said quietly, tears starting to sting my eyes.
“Exactly. I could’ve have you kill Kara, but I didn’t want you to, cause I knew you would get into to much trouble to make it worth while.” Mikey said.
I sighed; I had nothing else to say. That, or I didn’t actually want to say anything else.
“It’ll all work out in the end. And whatever you two decide on, I’ll be here for the both of you no matter what.” Mikey promised, wrapping an arm around me tightly.
“Thanks Mikes.” I mumbled, cracking a small smile.
“Anytime.” Mikey smiled, standing up and leaving me alone.
“Do I really have to tell you?” I moaned.
“YES! I told you already, no arguing.” Scarlet said loudly.
We sat at the back of the library outside near the bus area; it was technically a ‘out of bounds’ area, but it was great, lots of trees, high grass, no one around, it was great.
“Look, I know something’s up with you and Gerard, doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure that out. But I also know Mikey and Ray both know something.” Scarlet said.
“Yesterday, I had a little fight with Kara and when she threw me into a wall and Gerard tried to get her off of me, even though I was completely in control of the situation, I told him to stay the fuck out of it. He got pissed and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. I then went over there after school to straighten things on when… when…” I explained quickly.
“When what Rach? Oh god, what the fuck did he do this time?” Scarlet asked, not expecting the answer.
“I saw him with Kara.” I whispered, looking down as a stray tear fell from my eye.
“What do you mean you saw him with Kara?” Scarlet whispered.
“I mean I saw him with Kara.” I sobbed.
I was crying. Fucking crying. Nothing really got to me this easily.
“Oh god. You caught them fucking.” Scarlet said apologetically.
“Not that kinda with! I mean, she was on top of him and had her tongue down his throat!” I snapped.
“I’m sorry Rachel.” Scarlet said quietly.
“Anything else happen?” Scarlet asked sweetly, rubbing my back in small circles.
“I walked off, and Gerard ran after me, we ended up having a small argument, then Kara came out. I was actually going to let her be, no violence, nothing, then she kissed his cheek and I just flipped. I threw her down and we just kinda went at it after that… I then said that Kara could have him and that I didn’t care anymore.” I explained softly.
“So this is how Mikey knows? He must’ve been home last night to know all about it, either that or Gerard told him.” Scarlet guessed.
“Yeah, he was there.” I nodded.
“That’s how he’s involved?” Scarlet guessed again.
“No. He’s involved cause he tore me away from Kara when I was about to throw her into a tree.” I shook my head.
“And what did Gerard do about all of this?” Scarlet asked.
“Nothing. He just stood there, with his semi hard dick, he just stood there and watched us kill each other.” I said angrily.
I fell silent. I was yet to decide if it was a comfortable or awkward silence, but right about now, I didn’t care.
“You’re okay right?” Scarlet asked, visibly not knowing what to do in this sort of situation.
“I’m, not sure. Wait, of course I’m not.” I said sarcastically.
“…What does this mean for you two now?” Scarlet asked quietly.
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked or seen him since, so I dunno.” I shrugged.
I looked up at Scarlet when I heard her shuffling around.
“What are you doing?!” I asked hysterically.
“Gerard! Get your arse down here, we’re at the back of the library near the buses… Yes, Rachel is here… I don’t give a fuck, you’ll be here in ten minutes or I’ll come and get you!” Scarlet said to Gerard demandingly on the phone before hanging up dramatically.
“Why the fuck are you bringing him here?!” I growled.
“Because you two need to sort this out!” Scarlet yelled back.
“There’s nothing to sort out! IT’S OVER!” I screamed.
Scarlet’s face fell.
“You mean, you’re gonna do it?” She asked quietly.
“Yeah, I think I might.” I whispered.
“Wait, no! I don’t know!” I cried.
“Well, you’re going to need to decide.” Scarlet pointed out.
“I know. You don’t think I already know this?” I asked, stressed out.
“Fuck that was quick for someone that doesn’t want to see you.” Scarlet said more to herself than anyone else.
“Huh?” I asked, looking up and seeing what she was talking about.
Ray and Gerard walked to us, and by the looks of it, I was in the same situation as Gerard. Ray was practically dragging him along like a dog on a leash.
They stood in front of us awkwardly.
Scarlet stood and walked off, hinting for Ray to follow.
“We’ll stay at a reasonable distance just incase she pulls out a knife.” Scarlet murmured to Ray as they walked off to give us some ‘privacy’.
I looked up at Gerard, seeing as I was still sitting on the road, and he was standing nervously in front of me.
“I don’t want to get into another argument, but, just answer me a few questions.” I sighed.
Gerard didn’t look away from me or say anything; I knew it was okay to speak.
“Did you seriously think you could get away with it? That I wouldn’t find out?” I asked calmly.
Gerard groaned softly.
“Look, I wasn’t thinking at the time, I wasn’t thinking about whether I was going to get caught or whatever.” Gerard answered.
“You weren’t thinking? So, that’s you’re excuse for all of this, you weren’t thinking?” I asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know what happened. One minute, we were talking, just talking, next so was on top of me, kissing me.” Gerard defended.
“You’re actually defending your actions! Like you did nothing wrong!” I said slightly loudly.
“How could you not know the purpose of her being there, she was wearing a skirt so short, it basically passed as a belt since it just covered her hips, her top was so low and so short, that it really did nothing beside cover a mere centimeter on her stomach, and she was wearing knee high leather boots! I surprised your mother actually let her in!” I said.
“First, Mum didn’t see her when she got there, and second, don’t you think you’re over exaggerating a bit on the clothes?” Gerard replied lifelessly.
I groaned in frustration.
“What the fuck makes her better than me?!” I asked loudly, standing.
“I never said she was better than you.” Gerard said softly, stepping towards me.
“Well going behind my back with her isn’t really helping.” I said, taking a step back away from Gerard.
“If I didn’t come when I did, how far would you have gone?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
“I don’t know.” Gerard said angrily.
“You would’ve gone all the way. You would’ve fucked her like you’ve wanted to for ages, like she’s wanted you to for ages, even though you had a girlfriend.” I said in disbelief.
“No, Rachel… I don’t know okay? I probably wouldn’t of, but what matters is that I didn’t.” Gerard said, freaking out.
“Doesn’t fucking matter whether you did or not, the thought was there, and that just makes it worse.” I frowned.
“You don’t see that you did anything wrong do you?” I asked slowly.
“I don’t think I know that?! You don’t think that we might break up because I am that stupid?!” Gerard snapped loudly.
It fell quite between us.
“Where, does this leave us?…” Gerard asked softly and slowly.