Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > heroHEROIN

Part II

by LaBellaMuerte 2 reviews

"Maybe I'm better off on my own." I walked out of the living room, grabbed my hoodie and headed fo my car. I heard Jon yell from behind me. "Liar!"

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2008-01-13 - Updated: 2008-01-14 - 1823 words - Complete

If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I’m trying to let you know…
That I’m better off on my own.

I was lying in my bed for hours after Amanda and Danny left again. It was peaceful but too silent. Don’t you hate it when that happens? The thoughts and memories of Brendon and I floated into my head when I slept and I could barely keep them out when I was awake. I was wondering if he found someone else that could put up with his addiction, the one he refused to admit. Nevertheless, I prayed that he would get better, with or without me…I have never prayed so hard before.

Amanda left me a note on the counter in our Coca-Cola themed kitchen. The orange stationary paper lit up the granite countertop.

Jon called my phone; then again you would know this if you hadn’t hung up on me you little -- anyways, he said he wants to talk to you. Nothing bad, I don’t think it is anyways but whatever. He said to meet him at Ryan’s house. Ryan, Spencer, and Pete will be there waiting. Sounds like fun really. They will be waiting for a few hours; until 9 or so. It would be nice for you to go, honey.

Love, MandaPanda

Amanda was on their side. Traitor. Then again there was nothing suspicious about meeting up with some old friends, right?

I was trying to convince myself that the guys wouldn’t lie and it must’ve been really important and worth while if Pete Wentz flew out from Chicago to interfere. Me and him had a bit of a strained relationship.

I rolled over in my bed, remembering the note, and looked at the alarm clock. It read a mere 7:30. I still had a few hours according to the note.

“I don’t wanna go,” I mumbled to myself while thrusting my body out of the bed.

/But you should…you have to go/, my mind shot back at me. Damn my mind. Wait…maybe I was becoming the crazy one on drugs.

“Wow! I didn’t think you were gonna show.” Jon, looking more rugged than I last remember him, answered the door; his beard was longer and his slightly muscular body was dressed in khaki shorts and beater…he was still handsome though.

“Well I’m full of surprises huh?” I walked past Jon and stood in the middle of the small foyer in the old Ross home. Ryan had bought it after his dad, George, had passed a few years back. He treasured it and wanted it to be in his family forever.

“Yeah you are huh,” Jon smirked while taking my hoodie from me and hanging it up.

“So…” I had no clue of what I was suppose to say. I guess you can say things were awkward but can things really get awkward around people who know each other front-wards and backwards? I guess they could.

“Yeah…so…” Something was eating Jon; I could see it through his brown eyes. We didn’t walk into the rest of the house but just stood there. I was waiting for him to lead the way but he just stared at me.

Then, without warning, he grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me into him. A Jon Hug is what this was called. He swayed back and forth as he held me almost protectively. Being the incredibly compassionate person I am, I started to cry as I felt a tear of Jon’s plop into my curly hair.

“God, I’ve missed you Anna,” he whispered in my hair.

“Oh Jon, I’ve missed you too.” I had some much to say to him, being that he became a very close friend and this “clean break” wasn’t so clean.

“Please don’t cry,” he murmured.

I broke the embrace and pointed at my cheek.

“Happy tears, Jon, happy tears.” I smiled and even laughed a bit at the sight of him, my good friend, hell might as well be my best friend, all manly yet still drying both of our tears.

“Hey,” he started but I interrupted.

“Well hi and didn’t we already give our salutations?” I smiled even more.

“And to think that I wasn’t going to tease you Annabelle,” he said and grimaced. “Anyways, the others are waiting.”

“Oh yay, the moment of truth,” I said sarcastically. Jon took my hand lovingly and guided me into the living room. “It’s not like I don’t know my way around here Jon.”

“Oh, it’s not that at all. I have to make sure you don’t have one of your nervous bouts and run away.” I giggled a bit to myself remembering all the times I actually had a bout when it wasn’t necessary. Like, on the Nintendo Fusion Tour, Brendon called my name and asked me to come on the stage; I freaked out so bad. I began to get clammy, sweat and I even passed out when he asked the crowd to cheer my name.

“Uh huh,” I grinned.

The two guys were settled patiently in the living room. Neither had dramatically changed in the last month but the reunion was overwhelming. Pete looked almost exactly the same due to constantly being in the spotlight. Even his attire hadn’t changed; he wore skinny jeans and a bright yellow hoodie. And then there was Ryan Ross. Now everyone thinks that he is so sexy and whatnot and he can be but on the regular basis, believe or not, he’s just the guy next door.

He was standing there with that ‘I told you so’ smug-like smirk plastered on his face. His body was leaned up against the wall facing the doorway, like he waiting for me to come in.

“It’s been a while Annie,” he smirked as he walked to give me a hug.

“Yeah it has, Ry.” I gave into the hug and it felt so good to feel another friend.

Waves of emotion washed over me as I tried my hardest to suck in all the elements that surrounded me in my old life.

Everything was the same and for once in the past few months, I felt comfortable and at ease.

“Hey stranger,” Pete laughed once me and Ryan were apart.

“Oh my god Pete, you actually came from home to see little ol’ me?” Something inside me clicked. Like an ‘instant happiness’ button. I pounced on Pete’s lap and forced a hug upon his little frame; almost smaller than mine.

“Yeah, well I guess I am happy to see you too Annabelle.”

I sat on his lap a little longer until I felt his knees pressing into my butt.

“Jeez Pete, eat some food would you? You’re hurting her.” I recognized that voice quick and I turned to see where it was coming from.

In the long hallway, next to the bathroom, Spencer stood with his arms crossed. He grinned from ear to ear and his eyes expressed sheer and utter glee. I squealed his name before he could enter the room.

“I know, I know, you missed me.” I pecked his check swiftly as he sat next to me on the long curved couch.

We all settled in with each other. Eating pizza, drinking pop and chatting about the past months, trying to avoid the subject of Brendon but with little success. We sat in each other’s company until the clock read ten. My, how time flies when you having fun…I know, I know…How cliché of me.

Ryan decided to break the reformed ice once things got quiet.

“Annie, you know this was coming right?” I knew what he was talking about. Brendon.

“Yeah, I kinda guessed that this would come up.” I was hesitant to ask. “Bad news?”

They all were still and silent, which drove up my curiosity and down my optimistic thoughts, well the ones I had left anyways.

Ryan spoke again.

“After the last over dose after you left, he decided to quit.” My heart leapt. “He’s clean Annie.” I tried not to give up my hopes.

“How long?” I played with a strand of my hair hoping to stall and that it would distract me.

“A few weeks but no matter, he thinks he’s ready for you,” Jon piped in.

I was still playing with my burgundy curls.

“You guys, what if I’m not ready for him?”

The twisted truth was that deep down inside, a little alarm told me I shouldn’t go back to him. Maybe Mr. Urie was right after all. And what if he just continued the cycle? Sometimes you have to let the ones you hold close to your heart go, for good, no matter the pain it causes. Sure, my heart aches whenever his name is brought up or I see the “The Summerlin Superman” sign plastered across the community’s music center, but maybe this pain was suppose to be good.

Now the room itself was still, almost eerie. I had clearly said the wrong thing when I spoke my mind.

“I think I should leave,” I sighed as I rose from my seat against the wall facing the street outside.

Jon sprang from his to stop me and grabbed my arm, a little tight.

“Hey, no! What the hell Anna?” His words were jumbled and confusion was written clearly across his face.

“What?! Can I not be ready for a relationship again with a damn drug addict?!”

Jon looked me dead in my eye and whispered the knife that stabbed my heart.

“You love him.”

I began to walk out of the room when I stopped at the photo of Brendon and I after the band signed their record deal on the mantel piece. We were beyond happy and ecstatic at the accomplishment. His eyes were clear and he gazed down at me and smiled.

Jon saw me staring at the picture. I turned to him and the rest of the guys.

“Maybe I’m better off on my own.” I walked out of the living room, grabbed my hoodie and headed for my car.

I heard Jon yell from behind me.


I tried to be perfect, it just wasn’t worth it.
Nothing could ever be so wrong.
It’s hard to believe me.
It never gets easy.
I guess I knew that all along.
If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I’m trying to let you know…
That I’m better off on my own.”

[[The perfect LIFE]]
Sign up to rate and review this story