!01-30-06!: This is the first fiction I ever wrote. Have patience.
I was awoken 2 hours later by Paul and Billy.
"It's time to wake up, it's time to wake up, it's to wake up sleepyhead..." Billy sang. I did. I rolled my eyes, but no one saw. That, was a good thing. Life sucks. I thought. I can't stand this. I mean C'MON!!!! I was in love with my brother, that was in love with my best friend, and I was jealous of that best friend because my brother liked him. This is fucked up. I went downstairs, got a Coke and came back. Billy was sitting on my bed and Paul and Benji were on Benji's bed. Well, at least Benji's happy... I sat down and took a long swig from the can. Benji and Paul went on about what they did that day, and how much fun it was and blah, blah, blah. I listened until it gave me a headache.
"SHUT UP!!" I yelled. I slammed my drink down on the night stand and stormed out. Billy, Benji and Paul gave me startled looks. I went to a room the house that we call "A Smashing Room". When someone's pissed off, they go in and break shit. When I went in, I started to smash everything. I punched the walls, furniture, tables, etc. Benj knocked and came in. I knew Paul and Billy were right outside. I could hear them.
"What's wrong?" Benji asked me. I smashed something instead of answering.
"DUDE!" he yelled. I stopped and glared at him.
He repeated his question; "What's wrong?"
"You really wanna know?" I asked him. He nodded.
"Well, Benji, you think you're bi. I am bi, and I have loved you for a long time now." I said.
"Well, I've loved you too." Benji said. I let out a heavy sigh and looked down.
"Not in the 'brotherly' way Benj, I mean I've really loved you for awhile now. I mean right now, I don't know what to do. I love you, you love Paul, Paul loves God knows who and it just goes on." I said. Benji's jaw dropped.
"You?....You?" Was all he could get out.
"When you told me you liked Paul, my heart broke." I mumbled; "I don't know what I'd do with out you Benj." Tears were threatening to flow down my cheeks. I was fighting to hold them in. Benji just stood there and stared.
I finally got my ability to speak back. "You...you love me? As in more than a bro?" I asked. Joel nodded; I could see him trying his best to hold back tears of shame, guilt and sadness. I couldn't hold out any more. My legs collapsed from under me. I sat there on the floor, legs crossed and staring directly at the floor under me. I felt like I was going to be sick. I got up, ran to bathroom and locked the door. I hovered over the toilet bowl with the lid and seat up. Sure enough, I puked up everything I ate that day.
Through the door, I could hear Billy say "Are you getting sick man?"
I looked at the door and called back sarcastically "No, I'm just trying to figure out what Ca$h likes so much about this water."
"Kind of a bad time to do that, don't you think?" Paul said. I got up, rinsed out my mouth and came out.
Finding out Benji being bi, Joel being bi, Benji liking me and Joel liking Benji was a LITTLE much for me in one day. I didn't care though. I didn't swing that way. I never have. Then again, it wouldn't hurt to try, would it? I debated with myself for 3 days about talking to Benji about being with him. I never thought of him like that. Maybe I would tomorrow.
I had already woken up and showered and changed. So now, I was waling down the street with my headphones listening to MxPx. As I was singing along to "The Punk Rawk Show" I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and saw Benji and Billy. Way, way behind them I could see Joel.
I was about to ask why he was all the way back there, but Benji said "He's just cooling off. I tried to talk to him last night, but he just rolled over in his bed and ignored me."
I nodded and looked at Benj. He was wearing his Casualties shirt with his bondage boy shorts and high top black and white Converse. He looked good.