On the train to Hogwarts
- I like the fic so far, maybe not make him so meek as time goes on, are you going to go the canon friendships and such or are you going to do what fan fiction is all about and change shit around and have fun with it and everything else? ( I am so tired of the Weasley's, Granger and Dumbles it just makes my skin crawl most of the time lol ) and I really hope this is going to be a Harry/Tonks fic
Author's responseYea this will defiantly be a Harry/Tonks, they way it should have been; Tonks with that uptight dirty old wolf, gah (lol). Allegiances will generally be the same, but paring and friendship of the main characters will be shuffled. I put up the extreme spoilers because of how I will be using the general story line from cannon with my changes. Harry is shy right now but he will get cheeky and I hope to have enough pranks to make the even the twins say uncle.
(#) brujah_childe 2008-02-28 11:25:21 AMPoints for creativity, but the technical aspects of this story need a lot of work. The formatting is terrible. The solid block of text is very hard to read. You also need some paragraph indentation.
Aside from making Harry over-powered from the beginning, I really don't think this qualifies as a parody, so you might want to think about removing that tag.
Lastly, Chapter 2 cuts off in the middle of a sentence.
If you're willing to take the time to fix this, it could turn out to be really good.
Author's responseParody means to mimic, that is what I plan to do.
The block text is the way it uploaded my work. I am not going to go back and put extra paragraphs indents purely for aesthetic. Copy it over to your favourite word favourite text editor and read it there. The excessive indents are hard for me to read.
(#) iamspammer 2008-02-28 01:50:29 PMNice story. Few questions.
- Harry din't ask more about wards? If only not to know why Dumbledore wanted to check him but to know what wards are?
- And why not at least think about why a headmaster want to keep track on student now but din't do anything to stop the abuse?
- If he's so smart then why not pursue more on his instincts about Scabbers? If you wanted not to reveal him at this moment then shouldn't have added him pursuing more about Tonks.
I think they should be pranksters and their first target should be Snape and Draco. Maybe a GenderBender thing for ONE of them and then make them pursue each other? or maybe send them after Filch?
Now, if only you can help Harry train Tonks or atleast make her learn fast with Harry's techniques?
I do hope that you don't plan on revealing Harry's secrets to anyone? Like apparating and Non-Verbal magic and all?
As "brujah_childe" said, a bit more formatting will make it wasy to read. I already read your response, but I only ask for atleast on more line space between paragraphs?
Waiting for next chapter
Author's responseHe will not be able to train Tonks but he will tutor. And no one will really know why he learns so fast.
He will go after Snape and Filch but he will not go after Draco and you will see why. Draco will not be buddy buddy with Harry.
(#) brujah_childe 2008-02-28 03:01:15 PMhttp://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/
1 : a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule
2 : a feeble or ridiculous imitation
Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (10th Edition)
1: to imitate closely
2: to ridicule by imitation
This is not a parody. Leave it if you want to, but it's misleading.
I'm not asking for EXTRA paragraph indents, I'm asking for the one's that are supposed to be there in the first place. And it's not just for aesthetic reasons, it's because it's technically unsound to not have them.
(#) jabarber69 2008-03-04 08:57:37 PMHey great update and continuation of chapter 2. I saw your note, I agree with you about this site, I remember when I tried to put my story here, it took 3 or 4 tries. This site has great stories especially the nc 17 ones on hp but damn its hard to put anything here and for that matter I tend to hang out at fanfiction(dot)net alot, so I definitely check out your story there!
P.S. I just hope nothing gets in the way of you continuing this and hopefully eventually finishing it, because in my opinion right now it is in the top 10 percent of all the great hp universe stories, that is if you can keep this up.